tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22217175686083719072024-03-12T21:00:14.229-07:00ComfyTown ChroniclesComfy wife, comfy life.
Warning: These posts were created in a factory that also processes SATIRE.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.comBlogger230125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-54956332275309213682017-03-23T14:00:00.000-07:002017-03-23T10:04:14.162-07:00"I Think I Hammered A Cop" A My Old Man Story<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">When something triggers my memory, I try to write it down. Or the stories will be gone forever, I fear. My memory is bad.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">A blog post from one of my favorite bloggers about finally disposing of her dead dad's ashes, which she doesn't even know how she came to possess, triggered a memory. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">She wrote about her father playing craps and hitting someone with a hammer. Which of course triggered a fatherly memory buried in my dusty vault, about my dad's friend. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PLerFa31rL4/VR8-JEWTA6I/AAAAAAAAEhI/88fIuxKUNXY/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PLerFa31rL4/VR8-JEWTA6I/AAAAAAAAEhI/88fIuxKUNXY/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure you can relate to that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Unless you don't actually have a family story about someone hitting another human being with a hammer. I don't know your life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Did you watch the TV show, Mash? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Sorry </span><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>M*A*S*H</b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you watched, you know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">There's an episode where Hawkeye's richy-rich stuffy bunkmate, Charles Emerson Winchester III, tells Hawkeye with jealousy, that Winchester had a father, but Hawkeye has a <b>dad</b>. That always stayed with me. I didn't have a father, I had a dad. Most of the time I felt more like I had an<b> old man</b>. This is a "my old man" story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've written a little about my old man, but I did it right after he died, so it was all tributary and what a great guy. And for the most part, he was. He stuck around, paid bills, the works.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">He was also ... a character. Let's say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Where your dad might have taught you how to catch a baseball, my dad taught me never to bet out of turn at the poker table. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Also:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You never check the bet and then raise the bet. I literally cannot repeat what that makes you when you do that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Another Fun Fact:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You also play what you <i>called</i>, NOT what you have. It doesn't matter what you have, <b>you called 3 of a kind</b>. I separated these not for emphasis, but so you can remember. You should pin this to your Good Life Decisions pinterest board, it could save you a fist fight depending on who you play poker with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You know, that kind of thing. Good advice. Look for my sequel to "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" called White Trash Dad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So...this story takes place when I was 17 years old. I had just graduated high school. I was living with my parents, working part time and going to community college part time. I was paying for my own classes, books, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This of course did not make my father happy or proud in any way. He kept telling me I needed a 'direction' in my life, to get a life, to start a life, yadda yadda old man dad stuff.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">He thought<b> <span style="color: #cc0000;">surely</span></b> by age seven-<i>teen</i> I should be off on my own, married and shitting out kids like a Pez dispenser. I mean, that's the dream, right? Why didn't I want that? I wasn't about to swing that way, and don't call me Surely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">He would have been very happy if I lived in a trailer with tons of kids, or some shotgun shack built out of sod, or in the military off at war, or whatever just as long as it wasn't under</span><i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> his </i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">roof. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Since I was clearly a total deadbeat to him, my old man took upon himself to 'help me out.' And by <b><i>out</i></b>, I mean <b>out of his house</b>. That is literally all he ever wanted for me and my younger brother. And really, all I ever wanted myself. We had no idea what his motives really were, or just how quickly and urgently he wanted us out. This is not the time to get into all of that. One day. Not today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Anyway he had this awful drinking buddy, Dwayne. My stomach clenches just thinking about him. I think maybe they met in one of my father's more legal attempts at making money, selling meat door to door. Or maybe they just did that together, coming up with scams like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"I'm going to get fired if I don't make a sale today." My old man pulled that one on my sister, at the time a young mother struggling to pay her own bills. It worked. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, Dwayne made my dirty joke telling, whiskey bottle hiding father look like a fairytale prince. He explained to me that Dwayne's girlfriend worked for a 'computer company,' said with the tone of someone who is talking about a Ponzy scheme. My dad wasn't a fan of non-traditional jobs. If you couldn't buy a mug for it? It wasn't necessary.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #cccccc;">PersonalizationMall.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">To my old man, these are <b>real</b> professions:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Police</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Fire Fighter</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Doctor</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Lawyer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Plumber</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">and for women,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Teacher</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Secretary</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">To him, THOSE are jobs. Anything involving a computer, or technical jobs that came about after say 1970, that he didn't understand was just a waste of time to my old man. You would have better luck talking to him about tricking people into meat sales, than <b>software engineering</b>. Take from me, one of the first girls who went to school for such nonsense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This company he wanted me to work for had a full-time opening with benefits, so that was good enough to get me out of his house. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My old man told me to go to this company, Dwayne's girlfriend arranged an interview. They were looking for a receptionist, and they wanted someone 'pretty' so I needed to look nice. I know, I can't even. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The day my father got the idea that I should work for this company Dwayne was at our house. Somehow it came up that </span><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">shouldn't Dwayne be in court</b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"> that day. Someone (not me) had the nerve to ask him,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"What did you do?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"What do you mean, what did I do?" He replied lawyerly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"To have to go to court, what did you do?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"I think I hammered a cop." Was his response.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"You <i><b>think</b></i>?" I'm sure we all replied. At least mentally.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Well, I don't remember but that's what they said."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Prosecution rests.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I don't remember what happened court-wise, whether he got 100 years probation or still has a warrant for his arrest to this day. I just remember the hammered a cop part. That's the kind of thing that stays with a kid. I asked my brother, who had the misfortune of living with my father, and for bouts of time Dwayne the infamous walking whiskey bag, but he doesn't remember that particular court case. There were a LOT. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This is a man who got <b>run over </b>walking drunk on the highway and lived to mumble about it. Dwayne</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"> was addicted to pain pills among other things, so he probably didn't feel a thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Point is, </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Dude had adventures. Like the alky Forest Gump. You read all these articles about vegetables, vitamins, drinking water and whatnot, and then here is this guy. Basically a human booze-soaked ashtray and on and on he lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I do remember <b>one thing</b> that happened after this, but my husband says this post is already way too long and should be split into 3 pieces. Sooooo.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">TO BE CONTINUED</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">For quick reference, here is the next part of this story:</span><br />
<a href="http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/04/the-thing-i-remember-that-happened.html"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/04/the-thing-i-remember-that-happened.html</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">_______________</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's the post that triggered this memory if you like. I highly recommend it. She's much more funny than I am. Real talk.</span><br />
<a href="http://bitchesgottaeat.blogspot.com/2015/04/im-taking-my-dead-dad-on-vacation.html"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">http://bitchesgottaeat.blogspot.com/2015/04/im-taking-my-dead-dad-on-vacation.html</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-30673586655620678542016-04-03T09:28:00.002-07:002016-04-07T12:06:33.811-07:00Something Old, Something New, Something Muddy, Maybe YOU<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #444444;"><b><span class="">Cough *, cough *</span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> <i><span class=""> it's dusty in here.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class=""><span class=""><span class="">Not that the Fatness Post from</span></span></span></span><b><span class=""><span class=""> November </span></span></b><span class=""><span class=""><span class=""> was not Superexciting, but it's high time we </span></span></span><span class=""><span class=""><span class="">have a new post, ey?</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">I've been really busy and I know we're ALL busy so I'll spare you the boring details, but whenever I feel more busy than I'm happy about, it's time for a timeout and some THANKFULs.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class=""><span class=""><a href="http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2016/04/02/tee-tea-oh-t-the-wakefield-doctrine-of-april-and-brightening-light/" target="_blank"><span class="">10 Things Thankful </span></a><span class="">is a blog hop </span><span class="">sort of, and </span></span></span></span><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class=""><span class=""><span class="">an ancient and</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""> practice </span></span><span class="goog-text-highlight" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class=""><span class=""> (?) </span></span></span></span><i style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;"><span class="goog-text-highlight" style="color: #444444;"><span class=""><span class=""><span class=""><span class="">I may have made that </span></span></span><span class=""><span class=""><span class="">up</span></span></span></span></span></i><span class="goog-text-highlight" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span class=""><span class=""><span class=""><span class=""> <span style="font-size: large;">of ACTIVELY being grateful for the good things in your life.</span></span></span><span class="" style="font-size: large;"> Including and for me Especially when things get tough.</span></span></span></span><span class=""> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class=""><br /></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class=""><span class="">Being thankful for the things you have is not some gift that is magically deliciously * </span></span><span class=""><span class="">bestowed </span></span><span class=""><span class="">upon </span></span><span class=""><span class="">some people, they have to </span><span class="">actually work at it.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span style="color: #444444;"><i><span class=""><span class=""><span class="">(* I know deliciously makes no sense in this sentence, but as a victim of children's marketing of leprechaun marshmallow cereal I can no longer type or say 'magically' without the word 'delicious.' I worked in Marketing so instead of being mad, I'm kind of in awe actually.)</span></span></span></i></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Without further ado because let's a-don't, here are things I'm thankful for:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="">1. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class=""><b>T</b></span><b><span class="">he Gravity Challenge.</span></b> </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class=""> The I have been a part </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="">of this </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="">since summer of 2015. It's a lovely group of people, overseen by vBulletin® the ever 's by </span></span><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class="">patient over-seer, WHO COMPLETE </span><span class="">is my 2nd thankful.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="goog-text-highlight">2. </span></span><span class="" style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>Clark of the Wakefield Doctrine,</b> making sure we </span><span class="" style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: large;">check in first with ourselves and then with each o</span><span class="" style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: large;">ther daily to report how gravity is affecting us. </span><span class="" style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: large;">Putting our information together, Encouraging us when we need it, Supporting us through victorious moments, all for less than minimum wage. A lot less.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">3. </span></span><b style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">Wii Fit by Nintendo.</b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">I do not have a scale because years ago my now husband and I were drunk fighting and I threw it. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><i><span style="color: #444444;">(True story, obvy who would make that up?)</span></i> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">Luckily our local neighborhood gaming system has a torture device disguised as a game, that allows you to do a variety of exercises with some guidance. It has yoga, with a board to stand on that tells you if you're doing it wrong <i>(I usually am.)</i> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">Practicing yoga helps me in many ways. It also weighs you and keeps track of your weight, with judgement at no extra charge.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Also, it's a little creepy. At no extra charge.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Uhhh ooookkkkaaayyy. I gotta go, do .... a .... thing kthanksbye.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">4. <b>Spring</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">I lowkey hate Spring and it's bipolar mostly COLD weather and it's smug attitude and all it's mud and allergies and Spring cleaning, but it's one of those things you have to live through not to die of cold and Vitamin D deficiency in the Midwest.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">5. <b>Spring Break</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">No crazy schedules, just the ones I choose to make to do the things I want to do and to see the people I do not normally have time in my day to see. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">6. <b>My car</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">I have a super cliche minivan and it's haunted. Sometimes, for reasons that escape it's dealers and every mechanic I've ever taken it to, the battery drains and we get stuck in random places. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">Yes, we've tried that. Whatever you're thinking, we've tried it, replaced it, got a better "super-power" one. Does not matter. Anyway, other than that it's a great car and it's been weeks since we've been stranded anywhere. So there's that.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class="">7. <b>This weird year</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="">It's been strange, tough, painful, monetarily and physically, and different than our normal routine. However, parts have been wonderful. I hope to find more work from home or things are going to get really uh, interesting let's say, but it's allowed me to spend a lot of time with just my kids and that has been a priceless blessing. I also haven't had a headache in weeks, thanks be to whatever ghost moved out of my head, b/c we never knew why I even got them so I don't know why they're gone.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dt7A0J0z4Qw/VwFAm669mzI/AAAAAAAAK5Y/7WGhvlMUTzs-GDJr4_VuRtAHx8YsJnuQQ/s1600/2016%2B02%2B21%2BLaurens%2Bclass%2Bbday%2Bparty%2BMolly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dt7A0J0z4Qw/VwFAm669mzI/AAAAAAAAK5Y/7WGhvlMUTzs-GDJr4_VuRtAHx8YsJnuQQ/s320/2016%2B02%2B21%2BLaurens%2Bclass%2Bbday%2Bparty%2BMolly.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444;"><i>from wanna-joke.com</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">8. <b>Aldi</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I know people hate it and complain about it all the time, it's the opposite of typical American grocery stores. It does not kiss your butt and do everything for you, it's like the My Mom of grocery stores,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Get it yourself. Your arms ain't broken."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Without it's low prices we would be in much worse debt. I can bag my own groceries and move an empty box or 3, thanks for the low prices, man.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight">9. <b>This blog</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class="">I do not know how much longer I'll even have it. I never have time to write any more, but it's nice to know there is a community of smart, funny people when I can make the time. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight"><span class="">Raising small kids in today's world can be lonely, it's so nice to find like-minded people, even in the Computal World. Also need to the I figure out Post why it keeps changing my text AS the I'M TYPING sometimes. <b>STOP doing That, Books Blogger Reader Even .</b> BUT the I have it and the blog Itself is <br /> free, and a reminder of the adult by mind the I of used to have.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight">10. <b>This hop I , and Especially it's Creator.</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span class=""><span class="goog-text-highlight">See above.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-41195070022847001452015-11-16T06:58:00.001-08:002015-11-16T09:05:49.689-08:00Lifetime Fatness: A Guide To The Holidays<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I was going to put together some easy things I did to lose 15 pounds since summer, but really, weight loss tips? Does that even sound like me? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I feel like that's the equivolent of <b>Donald Trump's Guide to Etiquette. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Ben Carson's Thoughts on Reality.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Ways Republicans Accept Women As Humans.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Okay, you get it. Let's just say it's not consistent with my comfy brand or whatever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Sooo.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Instead, I would like to share my tips for getting through the holidays without murdering those oh-so-helpful people who love to "look out for us" and are "concerned for our health," when commenting about our food and beverage intake. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Also known as making us feel like horrible fat fatties, and then mentally high-fiving each other behind out backs that <b>at least they're doing something </b>to help us. Barf.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Thanks so much Judy, now go on your smoke break, or play your 15th game of Candy Crush at your desk, or yell at your kids on your phone, or have a 3rd glass of wine, or a Xanax, or whatever <i>your</i> vice is, and just keep your judgement to yourself. We all have something and I'm so sorry my current something is unsightly for you to look at. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So when I'm in that situation and someone says something super awesome to me like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'll usually either,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">a.) Dust off my TED Talk about how women no longer have to weigh our self worth by our looks alone, or </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">b.) a nice little explanation of how I don't look at food as just a caloric number, balanced against steps taken or whatever else Fit Bit measures, or </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">c.) Ever consider, "Do I 'deserve' to eat right now?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Another lovely, caring thing people have said to me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Go ahead and enjoy that, you deserve it."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Thanks. Thanks so much for confirming that I actually <i>deserve</i> to eat food to fuel my body. I was wondering the whole time I earned the money for this food, shopped for it and prepared it if I was <b>worthy </b>of it, so thanks for the support, Janice. I was going to poll the whole office, but since you said it, I feel like I can go ahead and proceed now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But then sometimes, like around the holidays when everyone is already tense and crabby, I don't feel like getting into all of that. Sometimes it's easier to Elsafy and Let It Go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I just smile and nod and pretend to be grateful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Thanks."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Yeah, I'm working on it."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"I'm totally going to start my diet after New Year's"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">BARF.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You couldn't give me a FREE membership during January when everyone and their Aunt Sally is cramming into the gym and pretending like they're still going to be there in a couple of months. I'll take a hard pass.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So while it's true we don't owe anyone health or fitness, or a pretty outer package or </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">actually anything, </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #666666;">from boldorama.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">in my 4 decades of Not Giving a Dang, I've come up with some handy ways to keep the judgey people satisfied. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Or at least <i>quiet</i>, thinking you're doing your part to keep their America beautiful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm going to do a Numbered List, even though I feel like this is dumbing down America almost as much as reality TV. However, for purposes of pinning this to Pinterest and referring to it later, here we go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>1. Carry around a piece of fruit.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Or leave it on your desk. Even if you don't eat fruit, just leave it there as a pre-emptive 'Shut it.' If someone asks, tell them it's there for a <b><span style="color: #783f04;">healthy snack</span></b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Tell them how people are always bringing cake, cookies and whatnot during the holidays. (Still <i>totally eat </i>those cookies and cakes and whatnot, the fruit is just for show.) Or also eat the fruit, fiber is awesome. Whatever man, it's your journey.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. Get a water bottle for your desk.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Same with the fruit. Drinking water is an easy way to flush out toxins (sorry I used that word) and make you look like you care about your health. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: blue;">It seriously doesn't even matter</span></b> if you ever drink that water, it will make Janice in Accounting make you think you care about your health. Maybe she'll stop sending you those stupid articles. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>3. Half an hour before lunch, change to gym shoes.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">If anyone asks, tell them you're going for a walk at lunch. Whatever you're doing, I'm sure you'll have to walk somewhere to get there. Plus gym shoes are 1000 times more comfortable than whatever you're rocking to work. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Besides, <i>walking </i>to my car to drive through Taco Bell and then <i>walking</i> through the mall to pay the minimum due on my Torrid bill? IS WALKING. Back up off me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>4. Dodge the elevator, take the stairs.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">If you work on the 20th floor, no worries. Take the stairs to the 17th floor, then go grab the elevator there. If you happen to get caught by someone in your office, no worries. Just tell them you're building your way up to taking the stairs all the way down. Say the words "Baby steps." Only those words, and in your head you can fill in the part about how all you want to take is baby steps.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The stairs are a glorious place, by the way. Usually the kind of people who take the stairs don't want to make small talk, or even eye contact. They have crap to do, secret calls to make, or they're on their way down or up to the roof to smoke and don't give a crap about you. It's kind of cool actually. Way better than the crappy elevator people. Try it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>5. Before the Holiday Party, have a small meal.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I don't know how your company party is, but most of the companies I've worked for went from holiday dinner to holiday late lunch after half a day of work. Because it's cheaper, but whatever. Point is, it often happens either so long after lunch or such a LATE lunch that when you show up you're starving. Add a holiday cocktail and if you're like me, you're ready to strong-arm those nerds in Accounting out of your way to get a bite of cheese and crackers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Smart money says, eat something at work. At your desk or in the lunchroom. Tell anyone <b>giving you side eye</b> <i>(I can see you, Karen)</i> that you want to minimize high-calorie foods at the party, so you're having a healthy snack first, based on article Janice in Accounting sent you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Meanwhile, having food before Happy Hour just lays down a nice base so you're not the <b><span style="color: #660000;">First One Drunk</span></b> and you're not fighting people off for those few crappetizers they sprang for and your stomach isn't growling by the time the soup is served. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have more but my time is up. Take it from me, you <b>can </b>have a full, happy life without a $100/month Lifetime Fitness membership. You can wear stretchy pants and only catch minimum shade from those basic beyotches that <b>actually eat kale </b>and are pissed at you because of it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Kale is a practical joke, and a funny one. But munch away!</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-14016636668731339752015-10-26T05:57:00.003-07:002015-10-26T06:14:03.605-07:00Lego My Wallet, Legos<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 21.4667px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I admit my posts have been boring, so now seems like a good time for a rant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Okay, see ya.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Maybe the next one will have rainbows.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Adding to the never-ending long list of <b>Things I Just Don't Get</b> is: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Lego sets.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Specifically, the price.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Let me walk you through how I came to lose yet more faith in Humanity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />I saw on the news that Lego can't keep up with overseas orders, so I took to eBay to see what Legos are selling for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">BAD IDEA.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's been awhile since I've priced Legos new, the last time I was going to get a Star Wars set for my husband but I didn't pass the credit check.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R_hmrdeM3cI/Vi4mhFjkeBI/AAAAAAAAGJc/0InH0b3ozEc/s1600/Lego-Funeral-Directors.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="454" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R_hmrdeM3cI/Vi4mhFjkeBI/AAAAAAAAGJc/0InH0b3ozEc/s640/Lego-Funeral-Directors.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you think Legos are stupid expensive NEW, you should check out how much sets have sold on eBay. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Or not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It made me a little angry actually. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I usually don't deny anyone a hobby, collections, guilty pleasures if they can afford them, or even just complete indulgences. Something about this made me very sad. Probably just because most of the toys my kids have belonged to at least one other kid. I don't know. Whatever it is, it's MY problem, but you should see some of the things I found.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There are SO MANY over $5,000. Many for $10,000 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">YES FOR LEGOS.</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HPLqry6KkDM/Vi4ixsOb9YI/AAAAAAAAGJA/MCWl8IOtEQo/s1600/Lego%2BMillenium%2BFalcon.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HPLqry6KkDM/Vi4ixsOb9YI/AAAAAAAAGJA/MCWl8IOtEQo/s640/Lego%2BMillenium%2BFalcon.PNG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't get it. Am I missing something?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When you actually invest the time to put a set together, does it morph to life and become an actual COOL toy? </span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ir7VQrHcepQ/Vi4ivh_rL-I/AAAAAAAAGI0/XeK4utK95O0/s1600/Lego%2BTHREE%2BTHINGS.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="536" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ir7VQrHcepQ/Vi4ivh_rL-I/AAAAAAAAGI0/XeK4utK95O0/s640/Lego%2BTHREE%2BTHINGS.PNG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Do they become cyborgs that will do your bidding?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Or do people on my same planet actually just have enough money to spend OVER ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS on a puzzle shaped like a train?</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vLIMWq1Mz4Y/Vi4iyxjk-dI/AAAAAAAAGJI/xy0TDIoP1l4/s1600/Lego%2BTRAINS.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vLIMWq1Mz4Y/Vi4iyxjk-dI/AAAAAAAAGJI/xy0TDIoP1l4/s640/Lego%2BTRAINS.PNG" width="610" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe some kids just really love them. My son tuned out completely right about the time he advanced to cool things like pirate ships and Death Stars. He couldn't sit still that long. He also didn't love Star Wars or Harry Potter, so I feel your pain sports fan dads whose kids hate sports. I FEEL YOU, MAN.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If he would have, maybe it would be worth spending half a year's worth of college, who knows? All we ever made were various stairs and rectangle buildings at about Kindergarten level. And Boxball only cost us a cardboard box. So we played that.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I guess I really just want to know about the <b>buyers</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What do they do for a living?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21.4667px;">Are they hiring??</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wait, are there Game of Thrones sets?<br />I TAKE IT ALL BACK!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I would also like to acknowledge that at no time did I revert to the tired jokes about stepping on Legos. You're welcome.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's all I've got time for today, we're crashing a visit at my daughter's preschool from the town firefighters. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Note:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The headaches are all but gone, just a little pressure and dizziness now and then. And I couldn't even drink so the irony is unreal. I can drink now, I can handle the pressure with mostly peppermint oil, so my liver is clear for booze. I love a happy ending.</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-41540792179854365652015-09-28T07:23:00.001-07:002015-09-28T07:39:50.673-07:00The $62,000.00+ Headache<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I hate this title because it implies my headache is over, giving it a total dollar amount. I still have head pressure, that amount is JUST from the 4 days I spent in the hospital. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Over $62,000.00</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For a headache.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yes, we do have insurance so that is not our amount, thank all the gods old and new, but how crazy is that. FOUR DAYS. No, I did not sleep on beds made of bald eagle feathers or eat lobster or caviar, or anything else that wasn't straight up hospital food. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Which when your fighting nausea, "food" means pretty much just hot water run through various gross things. Mostly old coffee, or what was <i>probably</i> coffee beans at some point, who knows how long ago, and BROTH. Which is you guessed it, also dirty hot dog water run through what tasted like million year old bullion cubes and possibly old sweat socks. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Don't get me wrong, I mostly slept for 4 days and people brought me food and I didn't have to do a dang thing except try to get comfortable, find something on regular TV and sit through commercials (UGH!) because they don't have DVR in the hospital, despite their insane Comcast-like pricing. You would think Comcast would be ALL UP in the evil hospital system, wouldn't you? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's a natural partnership.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Take it from someone who has waited for both an insane amount of time. One on hold on the phone, and the other for what felt like HOURS to come turn off the alarm just so I can go to the bathroom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What I didn't get into in my last post about my month-long headache, was the fact that after the Spinal Tap they considered me a Fall Risk. Which is ironically always true, but in this case the only RISK from me standing up was me getting sick. I never even came close to falling. However, to protect themselves from potential law suits, whenever anyone is the slightest bit dizzy they put you in this "Fall Risk" lock-down situation. It's a nightmare.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You have to call a nurse BEFORE you can get up to go to the bathroom. If, sorry WHEN, the nurses are busy and take forever, if you happen to take matters into your own hands and stand up? A HUGE, LOUD ALARM SOUNDS. Right by your migraine-addled head. Awesome.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't know if you've been in a hospital lately, but you see a doctor for a total of 15 seconds a day, and nurses seem to only come into your room when they know you're asleep to put a needle in your arm and then immediately disappear again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">When I explained how painful the whole situation is to someone being rehydrated by IV and told to drink <b><span style="color: #990000;">large amounts of caffeine</span></b> to ease the migraine, this was their solution:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The nurses gave me their <b>mobile numbers.</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This way, instead of just pushing an easy little button on my bed's remote control, I could now have to turn on a light, look and see who was my nurse at this hour, look up their number, get the phone and CALL THEM just to have them tell me, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Um, I'll be there as soon as I can."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Instead of just pushing the dang button right by my head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thanks! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's so much better since sitting up makes me sick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Other than that, and them not noticing my IV got all jenky in the MRI and formed that painful golf ball of liquid, the nurses were great. I'm not even going to talk about the Bedpan Incident. TOO SOON.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Whatever nurses make, it is not enough.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, I wish I could wrap this up like an episode of House with a sarcastic line and an amazing diagnosis but I'm no Hugh Laurie <i>(is that House's name?) </i>and this isn't TV, so I'm sure this will end like pretty much ALL of my medical mysteries: Unanswered.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And with tons of crazy prescriptions because: America.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One such beauty is Nasal Spray, which is one of the most disgusting ways you can start your day. Unless you make the mistake of saying that out loud around my husband, who will then proceed to talk about things that are in fact more disgusting. The only one I can mention is,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"It's better than swallowing OTHER PEOPLE's boogers."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">True.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We have no idea what's going on, or what caused it at this point. My doctor seems to think the migraine was triggered by a combination of whatever viral infection my kids brought home from school like the class pet to infect us all, sinus pressure from that and allergies, and stress hormones which my body is currently not handling well. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm trying to get back into yoga, and walk for exercise. That is supposed to be effective treatment for stress hormones and all that jazz: Exercise. Just what you feel like doing when you've had a headache for a MONTH, but the only other thing she suggested were some medicines and seeing a neurologist.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />We have HMO so the soonest they can see me is October 13, one MONTH from when I called them. Awesome. Thanks, United Health Care. I'm just glad I have not had a migraine this whole time. Just a headache. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That is also getting better. I don't reach for pain meds the second I wake up anymore. I've been waiting until the pressure gets really bad, currently around 10:00a.m. which is an entire DOSE of medicine later than last week. Hopefully my poor liver is still alive to hear this news. I've been at the MAXIMUM number of both Tylenol and Motrin every single day for 3 weeks, so I can't even drink. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">At least things are going in the right direction. I'm sure everything will be golden now that we've had our magical eclipse of the Super Blood Moon last night. Right? I don't even know if it happened because I live in the Midwest where it's always cloudy. And Branchy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Have you seen that commercial about satellite? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Branchy." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If not, here it is and it's actually pretty funny:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7UCi/xfinity-x1-dawn-of-an-old-day</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's all I have time for, as I'm now weeks behind in every single thing in life: Work, laundry, you name it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Happy New Moon on Monday all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-38639748489535708762015-09-14T06:32:00.005-07:002015-09-14T11:45:31.945-07:00The Latest Thing That's Trying To Kill Me<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Want to feel better about your life?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I assume that's why you're here so I'll get right down to it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've had a migraine for ELEVEN DAYS now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yep.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Today is Day Eleven of some crazy thing that at this point is trying to either teach me a lesson, or maybe just kill me. And right now, either way, let's just GET ON WITH IT already.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C_WRlwKV88s/VfbMyv58ObI/AAAAAAAAEwU/jj3USYVOuM8/s1600/1%2BCTC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="428" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C_WRlwKV88s/VfbMyv58ObI/AAAAAAAAEwU/jj3USYVOuM8/s640/1%2BCTC.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">I wish he would just SHOW HIMSELF already.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've forgotten what it's like not to have a headache. It's been that long. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I woke up last week Thursday with a regular old headache that comes along with having a family, and by Friday noon-time I was ready for the ER.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My sister drove me there thankfully, I can't imagine an ambulance ride with 2 small kids and I really don't want to think about how that would work. At the ER they did some tests, CAT scan and a Spinal Tap, which it turns out is a real thing and not just a parody rock group that goes to Eleven. Though it did send my migraine to an Eleven, and beyond.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Apparently when they take fluid from your spine, fluid that acts as a cushion for your brain, there is a risk that you could cause yourself phenomenal pain and lose the ability to be upright for a number of days, maybe even weeks. This risk was downplayed by the ER doc for reasons unknown. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The actual risk(s) of this and everything are still unclear to me thanks to <b>so much information</b> being available in our phones, that it has become an insurmountable task to even know <i>which </i>information is even close to what you might call truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I spent four days in the hospital with various people and things trying to kill me, including a compromised IV that formed a golf ball of IV fluid </span><i>(and pain)</i><span style="font-size: large;"> to form in my arm and is still there. It's now down to a painful little grape-sized ball that no, you cannot touch and see how hard it is because it HURTS when you touch it. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Got that nurses? When something hurts, DO NOT PRESS ON IT AND WATCH MY FACE FOR A REACTION. I realize you have to take your entertainment where you can get it in life, but <b>pushing on that which hurts </b>is exactly why karma delivered me to you hurling stomach bile for days right in your face. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have to give nurses credit for that. I don't know how a person steels themselves against other people's bodily fluids, but every nurse I threw up on did not even flinch. They stood there, ON PURPOSE, holding those ridiculous little plastic boxes that look way to small to be for vomit, yet there they are in 2015. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When my own children, that came out of my body, get sick anywhere near me, I still have to shut my eyes tight and go to my happy place. But these angels just stood there, looked right at me, moved my hair out of the way and asked if I needed anything. That's some superhero sh|t right there. Arm grape ball of pain forgiven, all things considered I suppose.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So enough about bodily fluids. That part of my nightmare is getting better. Since then I've been able to spend a little longer and longer each day upright. If I force myself to stay upright longer than my brain can handle, I feel like I will vomit. So I've stopped fighting it and when the pressure gets bad I will lay down. I don't know what else to do frankly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I did see my doctor, who thinks the original trigger was a combination of a viral infection (though she did say they use that a LOT as a culprit because there is no treatment for it and no way to discredit it as a culprit. Convenient ey?) Also sinus pressure and stress/anxiety. Also hard to discredit. Whether you have kids or not, you have stress. Woke up alive? Then you probably have some amount of stress in your life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My next step is a neurologist. I called and they're hoping to see me mid-October. That is ONE MONTH from now. So yeah, I'll just have a headache for another month. NBD.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She did prescribe some low-dose prescriptions in an effort to look like she did something. It should be fun to see how all of those interact with someone in pain and always on the border of nausea.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will write a follow-up when any other information is available, and/or I have any advice to give you on migraines, and/or I am able to write any<b> jokes </b>about the situation. You can see how well that's going so far. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Not well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The only advice I can offer is:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Try everything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For me, almost nothing works. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Laying down takes the pressure off, so I don't feel as much pain that leads to nausea, that leads to more pain.....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So now I just need to figure out how to live a full, satisying life laying down. Piece of cake. Blanche Deveraux's dream life, am I right? Sign me up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Being a mom this way? Hmmmm....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Driving? That may be an issue.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Cc-qB-5skYw/VfcUgarPKlI/AAAAAAAAEwk/uDkoGYbXSoY/s1600/1fromtuoitrenews%2Bdotvn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="376" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Cc-qB-5skYw/VfcUgarPKlI/AAAAAAAAEwk/uDkoGYbXSoY/s640/1fromtuoitrenews%2Bdotvn.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes! I just need a side car! </span><i><span style="color: #999999;">From fromtuoitrenews.vn</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The major narcotic medicine they give you at the hospital took my pain away, but they didn't want to give me a prescription for that at home. All things considered I agree. Anything that your body can become addicted to, you would have to have withdrawal from. That could include headache. No thanks. I've become almost comfortable with the level of pain of my unwanted visitor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The other things they recommend for migraine?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">A joke.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My brain laughs at all essential oils, steeped ginger, soothing music, ear plugs and eye mask. Slightly help, but not much. I have to use the ear plugs to chop vegetables, and learned the hard way that you do NOT chew raw carrots with ear plugs in. Never do that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've taken to eating very quiet foods:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Soup</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Soft fruit, like bananas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That seems weird, but it's what I'm craving.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Softness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Quiet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I wonder what cotton balls taste like?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Still better than<b><span style="color: #274e13;"> kale </span></b>I'm sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is the only time in my life I do not want a taco. It feels weird to even type that. I mean, if you brought me one, I would take one for the team.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I stopped fighting the pain days ago, and just kind of roll with it. I'm down to one OTC Tylenol or Motrin every few hours. That means I almost always have some degree of head pain, so I move slowly (yes even moreso) and when the pressure gets really bad I lay down. This is my life now. With 2 small children. If it doesn't get better you'll see me researching euthanasia or something. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The nice thing is when people find out you've had a headache for that long, they do ask how they can help you. I'm not even sure what would help me, it's just nice to see humans humaning. Even the neighbor, the one I did not murder, sent a text asking how she can help. I love that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My sister helped immensely at the beginning. I mostly just need someone to take my little noise-makers away for awhile. That helps. So. Much. They can't help they are headache-makers, they're kids. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My 3 yr old should hire herself out as a professional Noise Maker. For parades and New Year's Eve? Who wouldn't want that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Anyway I'm just wondering if this is what my life will always be like. Will I just have a headache forever? Am I to be the mom who always has a headache? And my poor Stanley Roper-esque husband will be mad because I'll still find a way to demand husbandly duties.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>"It promotes good blood flow! Relieves pressure! Other SCIENCE words I can't think of right now!"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Speaking of that, the pressure is building right now, must be the stress of mentioning Stanley Roper so down I lay my head. Peace out for now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Be glad you have your health today, you never know man.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-19105972719286433902015-08-31T06:03:00.003-07:002015-08-31T09:33:54.705-07:00My Husband's Ashley Madison Profile<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So unless you're living under a rock </span><i>(and if so, do you want a roommate?) </i><span style="font-size: large;">you've heard there exists in our world a web site wherein married people can search for other married people with which to break their wedding vows. Freedom isn't free, Murica.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's right, I'm joking about a "very serious topic" and before you send me hate messages about how this <b>is not funny</b>, just know this:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">YES IT IS. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Everything terrible can be laughed at. SHOULD be laughed at. That's how we get through this. You laugh, you thank your Lucky Charms whatever the <b>terrible thing that's currently happening </b>in our terrible world isn't happening to you, and you move on. And if you're smart, you have some Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And also? There is something else terrible waiting tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. And we have to move on however we can move on. And I move on? By laughing at things. If you don't like that, you're in the wrong place.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So when we learned about this, and just HOW MANY MILLIONS OF PEOPLE are on this site, we were....not at all surprised because my theory of humans remains unchanged:<br />People are the worst.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was difficult not to be at least a little tickled at the idea that hackers broke in to their database and threatened to release the names. Yes, it's a travesty to all of us to have privacy breached, but also EFF A CHEATER. NawI'msayin?</span></span><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yEKShwuicTg/VeRPRX57IaI/AAAAAAAAEvM/Fb5oGzDelfs/s1600/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="154" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yEKShwuicTg/VeRPRX57IaI/AAAAAAAAEvM/Fb5oGzDelfs/s640/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" width="640" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then I heard you could actually SEARCH the list to find names. My husband and I used to work together so we immediately thought of people we both knew that were probably on there. The people that are still alive, obvs. Anyone who used to work with us immediately knows who I'm talking about. A dirty cheater. Who died.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Notice how I'm not adding RIP or any other thing people do to suddenly respect a sh|tty person as soon as they're dead. Because: NOPE. I'm not doing that. I'll see him in Hell, and thank him again for recommending me to go to Florida for training and telling me to rent a car and have a good time. I did have a great time. I often had a great time and if I go to Hell for it, it was worth it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, I heard on my phone you could search for names or emails and being the old-beyond-my-years person I am, I hate searching for things on my phone. I never did make it to my laptop to search because I'm lazy. Really lazy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Way too lazy to search for people I don't really care about. Way too lazy to have an affair. I mean, I would never betray my family like that. If I am not happy in my life? I will let you know, sir. But also, I imagine infidelity to be exhausting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's got to involve grueling, tiresome things like remembering lies, and also shaving my legs and whatnot. I'm not doing that any more than I have to. I've said on social media, WHO are these people that have the energy to lead double lives? I can barely handle my one relationship. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm way too cheap and lazy to even <b>set up a profile</b> online to have sex. It seems weird to me. Maybe those people haven't heard of bars? I don't know, man. When I was single a friend of mine wanted me to fill out the leeeengthy questionnaire for e-Harmony. Have you heard about that? I literally answered less questions to get a loan for my condo. Not kidding.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She told me, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"They need a lot of information to match you with your soul mate."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Aw sweetie. I don't know crap about romance you'll be shocked to hear, but if soul mates <i>were</i> real? My soul mate would never sit here and fill out all of these questions. Not in a million years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I got pissed off a few weeks ago when I went to order PIZZA at a new place, and to place your order online you had to set up a profile. OH NO. I just called them. This is supposed to be an easy to get food. Take my money: The End.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I also couldn't do this online profile monkey business because I have a problem with my....what do you call that thing? Where you store the stuff? Oh yeah, BRAIN. </span><br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xUOfoyF4Tak/VeRYBrB74KI/AAAAAAAAEvs/jUpOfIcdl8M/s1600/2015%2BKathy%2BBates.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xUOfoyF4Tak/VeRYBrB74KI/AAAAAAAAEvs/jUpOfIcdl8M/s400/2015%2BKathy%2BBates.jpeg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This would mean <b>remembering ANOTHER login </b></span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">and password</b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Nope. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Know how I remember mine? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Right before I get locked out I call my husband. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That convo would be pretty awkward I'm guessing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But I couldn't help but laugh at what my profile would look like.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I like stuff. Do you?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Don't answer that. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">NO talking. Ever.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hope you're not allergic to awesome."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then there would be a million blank spaces/questions and probably some kind of notice that I'm behind on payment.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And I thought about what my husband's profile would look like. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now maybe you have to had met him, but really just know that he is the Stanley to my Helen Roper in the relationship. The very idea of him expelling energy to have to expel more energy is beyond funny.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know he had done online dating before we met, and how I know that is well, that's a long story for another time. But I picture his profile to be a ton of lies about things he thinks he likes, because he thinks he's SUPPOSED to like them, but doesn't actually ever do. Like golf. He drove around with what may as well have been a toy set of golf clubs in his car for over a decade before I finally put them in the garage when I had to take his car to the grocery. No idea if they're still in the garage or still exist in this world or any other.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He had to fill out some personal things for a poster to hang in his cubicle at work and it may as well read:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I'm a lying liar sitting on a throne of lies."</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ACuC8Pkhcvw/VeRTsKaq7GI/AAAAAAAAEvg/qRovVpZO3A8/s1600/2015%2B06%2BSansa%2Bgif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ACuC8Pkhcvw/VeRTsKaq7GI/AAAAAAAAEvg/qRovVpZO3A8/s1600/2015%2B06%2BSansa%2Bgif.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #999999;">giphy.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This poster is full of things he actually hates in real life. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He says his perfect day would be:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sleeping in </span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(ok, that's legit)</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Golf </span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(hasn't gone in decades)</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">BBQ </span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(I have to FORCE him to grill anything)</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bonfire </span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(he HATES this, and all things outside espesh if he has to DO anything) </i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So if he had to fill out a profile, he would probably just look for another person to play video games with. Not even in person, he used to play his friends online. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He would add a ton of Sportsing to his profile, a lot of Star Wars pics and if there were any truth to it:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"No funny business tonight, playing video games."</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WmKZAK6nlI4/VeRQC2H-6UI/AAAAAAAAEvU/IAHxLo24fUQ/s1600/Cosby%2BSweater%2Bcandle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WmKZAK6nlI4/VeRQC2H-6UI/AAAAAAAAEvU/IAHxLo24fUQ/s320/Cosby%2BSweater%2Bcandle.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And that might have been more funny if I had taken the 5 minutes to copy an online profile and fill it in, but I'm not doing that either. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How about you.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What would YOUR profile look like?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Your spouse or significant other?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-23105412323863952822015-08-17T06:50:00.001-07:002015-08-17T08:08:18.278-07:00Aw-festi-FUL <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's summer, and I'm all for a festival. Nothing beats drinking from a paper cup in the street, am I right? But not all festivals are for all people. I need to be better about looking for signs.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gZRNsUb3drE/VdHiSvr1WLI/AAAAAAAAEuo/5mksKs3nWNk/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="370" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gZRNsUb3drE/VdHiSvr1WLI/AAAAAAAAEuo/5mksKs3nWNk/s400/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Before you send me a message about this picture, READ this post.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Or at least the blog DESCRIPTION, re: SATIRE.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Google Satire, research it, and if you can't wrap your head around it:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;">UNFOLLOW and do NOT read this blog. Thanks, have a nice day.</span></b><br />
<i><span style="color: #999999;">from dailymail.co.uk</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Some have great music, some have the mayor's cousins's garage band that does a fair Steve Miller band cover. We stumbled upon a high school band that really played their hearts out. However, they can't all be gems. Yesterday's trip to VeggieFest, or as my husband calls it's "Yucky-Fest," got me thinking we should probably do some research before we just go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I wasn't expecting much. The vague description of 'vegetable talks and demos, music, family activities' told me we wouldn't be eating Shark On A Stick watching an aging, though respectable, David Lee Roth perform slowly like at Naperville's famous Rib Fest. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VYBb4rCQzmg/VdHhxe3s4gI/AAAAAAAAEug/O5HSUF-fmXI/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VYBb4rCQzmg/VdHhxe3s4gI/AAAAAAAAEug/O5HSUF-fmXI/s400/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just to get IN to the fest <i><span style="color: #999999;">from survivorsucks.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I also thought maybe we wouldn't have to wait in long lines for everything like Rib Fest. George Wrongington. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Admission was free, and there were a lot of crafts for kids, run by cranky vegans that really needed a good....serving of meat. They had a brilliant little open play place with toys for toddlers. I thought, "Wow, why don't more festivals have that?" Well, here's why. Because: People.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">During the half an hour we endured this Tot Tent, we saw TWO different unattended toddlers. One who kept taking all of the toys right out of other kids' hands until I literally had to go pick him up and explain sharing. I don't think he spoke English and he didn't pay attention anyway. Good lesson for my kids. We watch children in our home, so they're used to having to explain sharing, and defend themselves. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The 5 yr old's signature move is whining "He took my toy!" and breaking down in a pool of tears. The 3 yr old on the other hand is a baller. She yells something like "HEY!" and gets her toy right back. Usually making older and larger children cry. We're working on tact, but we don't worry about her survival skills in the cold, cruel world. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So needless to say, we left that scene. There were 5 other adults in the tent when we left, so we didn't feel guilty about leaving the already unattended toddlers, still unattended. 2 moms were trying to figure out where the wandering 2-yr old girl came from. I pointed out a "Family Meditation Tent" and said maybe the parents were in DEEP meditation? <i>*puff, puff, pass* might make the food better?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We walked past a long line for face painting, which is Lola's jam, but waiting in line? Not so much. We walked past several tents marked for speeches. Speeches about vegetables? Sounds corny. There were tents of organic products, and castille soap which I already use and my husband thought he was funny running over to look for a list of actual uses (you can make EVERY KIND of cleaner w/castille soap b-the-w.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wFJ8XFL71_0/VdHmGZzOVBI/AAAAAAAAEu0/tizG8FRgQZA/s1600/Cosby%2BSweater%2Bcandle%2Bfrom%2Bthepoke%2Bdot%2Bco%2Bdot%2Buk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wFJ8XFL71_0/VdHmGZzOVBI/AAAAAAAAEu0/tizG8FRgQZA/s1600/Cosby%2BSweater%2Bcandle%2Bfrom%2Bthepoke%2Bdot%2Bco%2Bdot%2Buk.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #cccccc;">from thepoke.co.uk</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Other than that, there was a long line for food tickets, huge sign read "NON-REFUNDABLE" and some food tents with long lines. It was </span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">over 90 degrees</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> and we were surrounded by people who eat nothing but vegetables and wear </span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">natural deodorant</span></b><span style="font-size: large;">, so without brutal detail we jogged to the air conditioned car. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We went swimming at my sister's house, and that's the BEST SUMMER FESTIVAL I've ever found so far. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Have you been to any good, or really bad, festivals lately?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Check this one out below, called The Boring Festival.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">The chap from the Süddeutsche Zeitung was awfully polite as he quizzed Hamish Thompson, one of the organisers of the annual Boring conference, which took place in London on Sunday. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">He gestured to the Boring buffet: </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">bowls of undressed iceberg lettuce, </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">cucumber chunks on sticks, </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">piles of white sliced bread, dry crackers and </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">label-free bottles filled with tap water.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It was undoubtedly a Very Boring spread. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Guardian Text Egyptian Web', Georgia, serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1rem; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Yet the conference was sufficiently interesting to attract not just the classier end of the German press but also 500 free-willed people who paid up to £20 each to spend a Sunday listening to a series of lectures on superficially tedious things: the relative heights of celebrities; letterboxes; and the features of a keyboard. Kathy Clugston, a Radio 4 announcer, discussed the shipping forecast.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-27289151360649105832015-08-10T07:06:00.003-07:002015-08-10T07:06:40.872-07:00The Strangle Is Real<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Quick post to say "Hello my friends on the internet. I miss you so," and let you know why I've been neglecting you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's not you, it's me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Summer, watching extra kids, taking on extra computer work, dragging my 3 yr old kicking and screaming to the potty 20 times a day, and trying to re-introduce my body to exercise </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>(barf!)</i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> have kept me "busier than a puppy with two peters." I feel tempted to include a picture, but also afraid to Google that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Don't worry, I'm not going all Maria Kang on you. I'd rather resolve to wearing nothing but judges robes and graduation gowns every day for the rest of my life.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-doQg6dOPiN4/VciloCQslmI/AAAAAAAAEtU/crH0tUH1oxY/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="488" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-doQg6dOPiN4/VciloCQslmI/AAAAAAAAEtU/crH0tUH1oxY/s640/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's just that my clothes are at their very limit. They still fit. Much in the way Bruce Banner's clothes still fit The Hulk. They're on, technically. Mostly.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k-x4p7gqLuM/Vcivqo1B1GI/AAAAAAAAEt8/q7doCedSlJo/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k-x4p7gqLuM/Vcivqo1B1GI/AAAAAAAAEt8/q7doCedSlJo/s640/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I WISH I were this tan, though!"</span> <i><span style="color: #666666;">from comicvine.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">They're making me quite uncomfortable. And they're mostly stretchy-type clothes so that's really saying something.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I hate shopping for clothing, and the paying for it part is making that not a realistic option. If I go one size bigger than I wear I'll have to have my clothes special ordered. The neckholes will be so large everything will just fall right off. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My gym shoes feel like they have my feet in a headlock after about an hour. If I opt for the next half size up, they're too big for someone already very clumsy. So I tough it out. By afternoon I'm dying to take them off and throw them out the window. This must be why you see shoes abandoned on the side of the road. The Foot Strangle Is Real y'all.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ie1KZs4abNM/Vcikn9gSNbI/AAAAAAAAEtM/EHa-70-TZlE/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ie1KZs4abNM/Vcikn9gSNbI/AAAAAAAAEtM/EHa-70-TZlE/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">There are entire Pinterest boards<br />dedicated to abandoned shoes.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am thisclose to just wearing crocs every day, but since I'm not a famous charasmatic TV chef I doubt I could pull that off.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-47RclIdz7tU/Vcimjgo9NiI/AAAAAAAAEtc/uAnrlkb1jUE/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-47RclIdz7tU/Vcimjgo9NiI/AAAAAAAAEtc/uAnrlkb1jUE/s320/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whatever, I love this guy.<br /><i><span style="color: #666666;">from gawker.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I started participating in something called The Gravity Challenge. It made me cringe at first, you have to weigh yourself and send the picture of the numbers to your friends. Who PUBLISH that picture on the internet.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lT7keXV2ryM/Vciny1O4-DI/AAAAAAAAEtk/8hM63YA8UFo/s1600/2015%2B06%2BSansa%2Bgif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lT7keXV2ryM/Vciny1O4-DI/AAAAAAAAEtk/8hM63YA8UFo/s1600/2015%2B06%2BSansa%2Bgif.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a class="irc_hl irc_hol i3724" data-href="http://pragmaticobotsunite.com/thursday-afternoon-thread-jill-scott-week/" data-noload="" data-ved="0CAYQjB1qFQoTCLj1z_HPnscCFUkNkgod3SgPLg" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB1qFQoTCLj1z_HPnscCFUkNkgod3SgPLg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpragmaticobotsunite.com%2Fthursday-afternoon-thread-jill-scott-week%2F&ei=hafIVfieO8mayATd0bzwAg&bvm=bv.99804247,d.aWw&psig=AFQjCNEyWjTi1cmV1sPxnWpqYBT5Iek-KA&ust=1439299818940165" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.2); background-color: #f1f1f1; color: #7d7d7d; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;"><i>from pragmaticobotsunite.com</i></span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I thought I didn't care about the numbers, but just SEEING them for the first time in 2 kids and then thinking about OTHER PEOPLE seeing them freaked me out a little bit. The image of that number haunted my brain all through the day for a good 3 days. It made me not want to eat anything. How did it get so bad so quickly? So yeah, time to start at least thinking about thinking about it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I started by just making better decisions, a little less sugar, a lot more water. I throw down a salad now and then. I do, however, remain firmly <b>against kale</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XUYfFnzayMU/VciuWXRJNJI/AAAAAAAAEt0/AS7BRZmwKV4/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XUYfFnzayMU/VciuWXRJNJI/AAAAAAAAEt0/AS7BRZmwKV4/s200/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I am at least a Colonel in the War Against Kale. I can't find that meme I made that says "Kale tastes like f*cking spiders" but know that it still does. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I said years ago, before Jim Gaffigan put it in his stand-up routine, that if kale is the only way to avoid cancer? I'll take the chemo. Every time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Kale is grown by heartless people in haunted caves and that place where Voldemort hid the necklace horcrux, and I do not need that level of evil inside my body right now. I would definitely go all Ron Weasley and start saying terrible things to people about their dead parents and whatnot. I'll pass.</span><br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/v87NqQ5QpJ0/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/v87NqQ5QpJ0?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is me when I tried kale. I'll stick with lettuce and spinach. With fattening salad dressing because let's face it, I'm not going for a shiny magazine shoot anytime soon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">More water, kaleless salads and a few less carbs were enough to knock a couple pounds off just by itself. I know that can't remain enough, so I'm trying to fit in a workout or two every week. On top of our casual family walks and that kind of thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I know I have to start slowly or I'll abandon ship pretty quickly. I once got a free week with a personal trainer. The dic--<b>dude</b> I mean, told me he would start me 'slow' and I could barely walk the next day. Yeah, that was the end of that week. And ever even talking to a personal trainer again. Buh-bye.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I've lost a lot of weight a few times in my life and I know for me I have to limit calories <i>and </i>exercise. That's the only way weight ever comes off. The slower it comes off, the longer it seems to stay off. I've started posts about this but never finished.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I can't diet food away. Well, I can with the help of pills that are either illegal now, or should be. As soon as I stop taking the diet pills? (Which b-the-w almost rendered me completely insane, yes even worse,) the weight comes back and brings friends. Not worth it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Don't believe the "miracle pill" hype. It's a system designed to create yo-yo dieting lifestyle. You take the pills and if they work? You lose weight. You stop the pills, you gain weight back. So guess what you need again? The pills. That's how they make money. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Realistically you can't take any pill forever. Your body gets used to any pill you take, then you need more and more to have the same effect. At that time the side effects will cause major damage somewhere. Besides that, the ones that actually work usually mess with your sleep. Bad things happen when you don't get restful sleep. Trust me, having a job, and people who talk to you, is more important than fitting in those skinny jeans.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Soooo, I sadly will start trying to fit more exercise into my life. The only possible time I can realistically fit that in is the morning, which used to be the time I used for blogging. D'oh. Hopefully I'll work out a balance at some point. You probably don't want to read the angry things I would say after exercising anyway. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">You know how people say they hate words like "panties" or "moist?" Here are my most hated words:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Lunge</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Squat</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Plank (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Kale</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Anyone have any suggestions? What has and hasn't worked for someone who hates exercise and refuses to "diet?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-44357311123111729682015-07-20T07:04:00.003-07:002016-03-08T05:06:58.048-08:00The 4 Quick Things You Need To Do If You're Not A Feminist<span style="font-size: large;">It's no secret I'm not a fan of writing about topics that aren't ridiculous, but sometimes someone has to.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Feminism is one of those things that I tend not to think about. I live it, I have just never had to chose it consciously. I was raised in a matriarchal family of strong, smart women. We actually need to pay special attention to our boys. Like the Polish Kardashians, but without all the plastic surgery and money. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">It's not something anyone in our family has to think about. That is, until I see an injustice or see someone who needs some information. The "someone" is a lot of people, actually.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It seems there are people, even <b>young and smart women</b>, who feel like feminism is synonymous with hating men. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">First thing you should know: It is NOT.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Feminism doesn't mean anything negative about men at all. I'm a feminist and I <b><i>chose</i></b> to be married to a man. I <i><b>chose</b></i> to take my husband's last name, to stay home with my children, putting my career aside to be the homemaker, diaper changer, CEO of Toilet Cleaning. That was a choice we made together, my husband and I.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Most of the time when someone talks about feminism, or being a feminist, really all that means is they believe, as do I, that women and men should <b>have the same rights and opportunities</b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This is from Miriam</span><span style="font-size: large;">Webster.com</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cx6rxnBU3xo/VaztuxEHFII/AAAAAAAAEsU/FzQaxWJDLQ0/s1600/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cx6rxnBU3xo/VaztuxEHFII/AAAAAAAAEsU/FzQaxWJDLQ0/s640/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>from miriamwebster.com</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In case this is too small on your phone, it reads:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"<u>Feminism</u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> <i>noun</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">: organized activity in support of women's rights and interests</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's really all it is. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Equal rights. Equal opportunities. Period.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Women should have rights.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, we're also fighting for equal pay for <b>EQUAL </b>work, and it's hard to even figure out what that means sometimes. We know men and women are different, so you don't have to come at us with tired old examples like,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Oh, so men should be surrogate mothers and wet nurses?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444;">*eye roll*</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">No one is suggesting a woman run for Chief Output Officer at the Sperm Factory. We're just saying that in general if a woman has the <b>same education and experience</b> as a man, they should be on the same pay scale. That's it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">They should be able to apply for, and hold, the same positions.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, there are a lot of factors that tip the scales, different college majors, maternity leave, etc. WE KNOW. Most feminists just really want a more equal opportunity.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Part of the solution would be for women to ask for, and <b>demand</b> when necessary (it's almost always necessary) to be paid what we are worth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I've had to fight, I've had to demand. I've left jobs that told me "You're already at the top of the pay scale." Then when I found another job and gave my notice, hey all of a sudden it turns out they CAN actually give me a raise if I'm actually going to leave. Well, whattayaknow? I never studied finance, but is that a supply and demand thing? Not sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't want to bring up crazy quotes from celebrities who really just don't understand what words mean. It might not be the best idea to look to television actors or actresses as an example to live our lives. I'm actually trying to help us here. A little information goes a long way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Whatever you do or think, don't hate the idea of feminism. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Especially if you're a woman. Why root against yourself? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You don't think you should have rights? Please explain.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Feminism is about choices. If you chose to get married or not, or have children or not, or change your last name or not, or have a career or NOT, it should be YOUR CHOICE. Period. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Just let us have the same choices.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We're fighting for what men just automatically get. You don't have to choose that, but why shouldn't it be available? Even if you don't believe in equality in general, maybe just don't stand in the way?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My point is this:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you don't think men and women should have equal opportunities and rights, that's your business. Here are 4 things you need to do RIGHT AWAY though:</span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">1. Close your computer. </span></b><i>(After you read the rest of this.)</i><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">2. Cancel your internet provider.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b>
<b>3. Sell or donate all of your electronics. Especially the ones that help you communicate with people.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b>
<b>4. Churn butter for the rest of your life. </b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's obviously the 1800's in your head, and hey awesome, it's your America too. But please do make yourself useful. Butter is delicious.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes this is a celebrity, but it makes sense.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HpWqB0J604E/Va1sbBW-OWI/AAAAAAAAEsk/Efdoe-n0skg/s1600/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="438" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HpWqB0J604E/Va1sbBW-OWI/AAAAAAAAEsk/Efdoe-n0skg/s640/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #444444;">from feminspire.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-70373994651448311722015-06-26T09:51:00.000-07:002015-06-27T06:47:05.476-07:00LOVE Is Legal and I Forgot Everything Else I Was Going To Say<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I had planned to write something this weekend, so many ideas swirled around like fallen twigs clogging the sewer drains all over the Midwest causing all the flooding. What to write about that anyone else would care about, but my funnel of thought was BLOWN AWAY by SCOTUS' decision to lift every ban on same sex marriage across the United States. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1JtoClffas/VY2CfnAvXrI/AAAAAAAAEr0/QdVv4UYCTGE/s1600/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1JtoClffas/VY2CfnAvXrI/AAAAAAAAEr0/QdVv4UYCTGE/s400/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Way to go, USA! Finally a step in the right direction, however long overdue.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My social media feeds were more filled with rainbows than this weekend's Pride Parade. I really needed to see that, too, because Thursday we went to Brookfield Zoo's first ever Pride Day and got there late so we didn't get our rainbow fix. We saw one rainbow flag in the whole place. No signage. Nothing on their social media channels. Hmmmmmm. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Anyway huge step for Team Human. And don't tell anyone but I cried a little. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Well, YOU read this and try not to cry. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R3eovvBBhhs/VY15dPd4tVI/AAAAAAAAErg/F-J7jgsKRx4/s1600/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee1.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="434" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R3eovvBBhhs/VY15dPd4tVI/AAAAAAAAErg/F-J7jgsKRx4/s640/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee1.PNG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And if that doesn't make you cry, don't tell me because that means you're dead inside. And my particular hollow insides are always attracted to those kinds of people, so let's just HIGH-FIVE finally having one damn good reason to be proud of our country.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I hate that it took this long, but I am also thankful it's done. Let's move on to the next thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Like taking down the confederate flag everywhere that isn't a museum or a sad footnote in history books. Don't come at me with Southern nostalgia. We all know the creator of this flag wanted it to be the symbol of white supremacy and segregation. We all know that past and current hate groups literally use it as a symbol of hate. Racism and hate trump your nostalgia. Done. Next issue.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Oh I love when things zip along.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm thankful with each year of my life, along with losing muscle mass I gain the wisdom to make decisions more easily and move on. I'll take that trade. Especially since there isn't much I can do about it. Except exercise, but let's focus on GOOD things we're thankful for right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We're getting End of Times rain and flooding in the Midwest right now, so the Silver Linings there are:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's not snow. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We're not in a drought. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We finished our basement repairs just in time. Not one drop of water got in! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Well, except for a little condensation from leaving the windows open. Did I mention we can OPEN the windows now?! Huzzah!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So many good thankfuls I need to focus on right now. I thought we were going to be good work-wise for the summer, but decided the new family wasn't a good fit for us. It bummed me out for awhile, but it's done. It was the right decision. I need to focus on the positives and forget the rest. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't want to be negative, so I'll just say I like to keep my group small so we can do a lot of things: From walks, parks, games, arts and crafts, books, all kinds of things. This isn't just a business, this is my family. I like them busy, learning, having fun, getting TIRED. Certain people/situations make those things difficult. I can handle almost any kind of kid, but there are certain kinds of parents I just can't work with. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Kids need a little guidance, structure, to know what their boundaries are. They NEED boundaries. They will always have them, different everywhere they go, there is nothing wrong with that. Parents have to be strong, have to be in charge and make the rules. Otherwise it won't take long before kids walk all over you. Then when they get to school it takes them longer to get with the program. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They can't learn if all the time is spent getting them to catch up with the others in terms of sitting in one place, following very simple rules, eating real food in a calm manner. If you don't even want to try that? I can't fix it in a couple hours 3 days a week. Neither can teachers. You HAVE to start, however small. If you're not even willing to try? Have a nice day, somewhere else. I don't have the patience for that. Nor should I have to. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My kids will only be this age once. A couple dollars isn't worth making them wait around for other kids to get with the program. Parenting is hard enough. Keep your village tight with the right kinds of people. Like my sister says, get rid of the weeds before they poison the whole garden. I'm thankful for her guidance in this way, and that my husband is understanding. I'm sure he'll be bummed at the paychecks this costs us, but seeing his kids active and happy is worth it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm forever thankful I have these options. That I live in a place where we won't go hungry, however tight the budget gets. I'm also thankful I was able to get some side work from a friend of mine to get us through the summer. Work at home has unique challenges. I'm glad I can do it and be home with my kids, no matter the ups, downs and WTF's! Soon enough they'll be teenagers and off with their friends and doing their own things and I'll be forever grateful for this time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That has to be more than 10! I have to bring my son his phone he left in my car and go enjoy our time to be together and go things before my house gets filled with kids and reasons why we can't. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Sorry if takes me awhile to hop around and answer comments lately. SUMMER!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-33469865470637619012015-06-22T05:25:00.002-07:002015-06-22T06:01:25.081-07:00Pleasant Leibster from A Pleasant House<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And now for something completely different....</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E7Zqidt87M8/VYf78jEWkuI/AAAAAAAAEq4/YFHr_1vi-zc/s1600/Cosby%2BSweater%2Bcandle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E7Zqidt87M8/VYf78jEWkuI/AAAAAAAAEq4/YFHr_1vi-zc/s400/Cosby%2BSweater%2Bcandle.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Smells like CHLOROFORM</span></i> </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No, not like that. More like this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm still <strike>unpopular and unread</strike> gracious and humble enough to be over the moon when someone nominates me for ... well, for anything. I'm a lot like my 3 yr old, even negative attention is better than being ignored. But this isn't negative at all. The lovely writer of </span><a href="http://apleasanthouse.com/2015/06/making-new-friends.html" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">A Pleasant House blog</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> (that's a link, and it's as lovely as it sounds) was kind enough to acknowledge my existence. I know, I was pretty hard to deal with when it happened. And since my last line of posts came to a weird halt, this seems like a good time to start fresh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">This works as follows:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The nominator asks questions and tags bloggers to answer, the nominatee answers the questions and tags other bloggers, and they tell 2 friends and they tell 2 friends and we all wash our hair in a grid like the beginning of the Brady Bunch. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bIy00vhlm-U/VYf8uQwByjI/AAAAAAAAErI/TdLyQyGtkGQ/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bIy00vhlm-U/VYf8uQwByjI/AAAAAAAAErI/TdLyQyGtkGQ/s320/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was called Faberge shampoo. <br />I had this hairstyle, we all did.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Wait, no, that's a shampoo commercial.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YBffwWblOH8/VYBuuHk8dNI/AAAAAAAAEqU/wwUan71CO0A/s1600/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YBffwWblOH8/VYBuuHk8dNI/AAAAAAAAEqU/wwUan71CO0A/s400/15%2BRIP%2BChristopher%2BLee.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Anyway, here are the questions.<br />
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1) How did you decide on the name of your blog?</h3>
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That was the easiest part. My husband's house that he lived in was one of those old, really comfy houses where you could do anything and it was okay. Like he full-on SMOKED <b>inside the house</b>. And you could tell he and other people had for years. You had to see the house where I grew up, but that made me feel right at home. Immediately. We had a pretty messy mashed potato fight one night and left it all there for like 3 days. But since I moved a lot for years before we met, and it was so comfy and filled with memories, it almost immediately felt like home to me. Just driving there I started to feel more calm, happier. It had good juju. </div>
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We strive to continue that everywhere we live. Nowhere has matched the original Comfytown in terms of comfy-ness, but we try to make it a state of mind. You could drop spagetti or spill wine here, and it would be totally okay. S'aul Good, man.</div>
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2) Where does your inspiration come from?</h3>
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Day to day living, past memories, and years of being raised by television. I come from a big family of weirdos, so there are just so many funny stories. I wanted a place to get them down, and to share them. And to have a sense of community. Being home w/small children is where I wanted to be, but it's also very lonely. These kids do not get me. It's like Monty Python jokes go right over their heads.</div>
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3) What is it you most love about blogging?</h3>
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The community. The comments are always more funny than what I've written and a lot of times whole extra conversation comes about in the comments.</div>
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4) What is your favorite food?</h3>
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Tacos. Forever.<br />
Though lately in my middle age I've broadened my horizons to include:<br />
Chip tacos <i>(or do you call them nachos?)</i><br />
Taco Salad</div>
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5) What is your favorite drink?</h3>
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Beer.<br />
But if I'm driving:<br />
Juice w/water added because I'm weird.</div>
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6) What item can’t you live without?</h3>
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My van.<br />
Yes, really trying not to be a suburban cliche I have a minivan, but it fits my kids and extra kids and extra stuff I find at Goodwill, furniture people give me, stuff I drive by at garage sales, stuff people throw in the garbage, or leave momentarily unattended...etc. I'm very che----FRUGAL.</div>
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7) If you could live anywhere, where would it be?</h3>
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I love London and the surrounding area. Not sure if I could be that far away from our families though.<br />
I love living near <b>Chicago</b>, the city, the people, so many parks and things to do. Even though the weather proves if there is a deity? He/she hates this area.<br />
We say when we get older we'll move somewhere warmer.</div>
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8) If you could meet anyone from History (past or present) who would it be?</h3>
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Frank Zappa. That guy is hilarious.<br />
.<br />
<span style="font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 2px;">9) What is your favorite outdoor activity?</span></div>
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Floating in the lake behind my sister's lake house in Michigan. In a big tube. With a beer.<br />
Bonfires. With beer.<br />
Hiking, slow and easy terrain where I can bring a Capri-Sun bag spiked. Especially if we're stopping to have a picnic lunch.<br />
Yeah, I'm all about outdoor drinking obvy.</div>
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10) Where do you see yourself in five years?</h3>
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The thing is, I don't know.<br />
Probably still living here in these boring but safe suburbs. My kids will be in school full time so I'll have more options of where I'll be job-wise. I'll <i>have</i> to be somewhere with a paycheck, but again I'll have more options. <br />
Blogging? I'm not sure. There are parts I love about it, and so many parts I hate about it.<br />
I hate having to constantly promote myself to get anyone's eyes over here, it's exhausting. I hate click-baitey writing and things like:<br />
1. Numbered Lists in blog titles, "12 Reasons Why You Will Die Horribly If You Don't Read This, click here"<br />
2. Open Letters to __________ people I don't care about.<br />
3. 13,000 people's exact same thoughts on the SAME subject matter<br />
4. Bucket Lists<br />
BARF! If you like that kind of thing, awesome. I can't swing that way.<br />
<br />
I think there is another part to this, I have to go back and get the rules. But in the meantime, you get the jist.</div>
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<span style="border: 0px; color: #ff6600; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ta da!!!</span></h1>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-91632330153755336082015-06-15T05:15:00.003-07:002015-06-15T06:01:17.758-07:00Summer of Discontent. Ish.<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I haven't posted in awhile and you're welcome. I probably should have changed the day I had designated for posting. Monday is usually the day I can wake up early, feeling refreshed and sit to write. For 10 weeks, thanks to the rapey weirdos at HBO, I would wake up each Monday tired and confused.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">WTF HBO?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In case you don't know what I'm talkin bout Willis, Game of Thrones is on Sunday nights. For 10 weeks anyway. p.s. when did 10 hours become a SEASON? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I guess when each episode takes $197 million dollars to film.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't worry anyone who hasn't watched, only vague spoilers laid down here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">George RR Martin promises on his blog, Not A Blog, that the show and the books will end up at the same place in the end. Why he keeps getting interviewed everywhere instead of FINISHING WRITING THE NEXT BOOK? Is beyond me.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IiQLzw1aTMk/VX7AfV_dDKI/AAAAAAAAEp4/-Z8_c3mDvxo/s1600/2015%2BKathy%2BBates.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IiQLzw1aTMk/VX7AfV_dDKI/AAAAAAAAEp4/-Z8_c3mDvxo/s400/2015%2BKathy%2BBates.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Shireen did not leave the <b>cockadoodee castle</b>!"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What/how they the shows get to the end? Is apparently left up to a group of people including Bill Cosby and the creepy guy who sang Blurred Lines, the national anthem of rapists.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GSpzUbJK29k/VX6_oK3fX3I/AAAAAAAAEpo/nNq9nn1YqEs/s1600/1%2BCTC2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GSpzUbJK29k/VX6_oK3fX3I/AAAAAAAAEpo/nNq9nn1YqEs/s320/1%2BCTC2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't get me wrong, I know the books are hella violent. I know that medieval marriage was quite different from today. I know that GRRM has a unique way of writing that rivals Waterboarding for inhumane torture. It just really seems like the writers at HBO only know ONE TRICK for getting us to hate a character.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Someone up in there REALLY needs some counseling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let's take one example. Ramsay Bolton. There are so many other ways to get the audience to hate Ramsay. Their HOUSE SIGIL is a person about to be flayed, in which they have their skin cut off while still alive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ramsay is a special brand of family insane. He likes to physically hunt people before flaying them. But that's not enough for HBO writers. Nope. What could we do to really drive home how awful he is? He needs to rape someone. WHAT THE HELL?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is one scene in the 9th episode. I do not understand in any way. I hate to spoil it for people who have say, read the books but haven't watched the show. I'll be very vague.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is one guy who calls himself "The One True King." And, by law, and thanks to his murder of a sibling that would inherit the throne, he actually IS supposed to be the king. Except they don't have Jerry Springer to throw down a DNA test and tell Cersei,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"He is NOT the father!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and have everyone do that victory dance they do when they get the results.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, he takes it upon himself to conquer the world. Then, this show would have you believe he orders the death of the only possible heir to his throne.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">WHUUUUUUUT?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why in Seven Hells would anyone do that?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Can anyone help me out here?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">_________________________</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This post was interrupted by the person whose child(ren) I watch, who had given me a schedule showing this week and next OFF, and then inexplicably pulled into my driveway. Good thing I was awake and had some actual clothes on. Pajamas, but my all of my clothes can double as pajamas so no one noticed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">SURPRISE! I don't have this week off from them. </span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-81199533646442859262015-05-30T07:10:00.001-07:002015-06-01T08:31:38.308-07:00Bitchen Camaro, Bitchen Camaro (I Hammered A Cop, Part 3)<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is the 3rd post of a lovely series I like to call,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"I Think I Hammered A Cop"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">because my life is poetry in motion and always has been.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Here is a link to the previous post in case you're a glutton for punishment. And if you are, I'm so glad you're here:</span><br />
<a href="http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/04/the-thing-i-remember-that-happened.html">http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/04/the-thing-i-remember-that-happened.html</a><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">T</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">he triggered memories continue. My First Car, among other embarrassing things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This memory was triggered by the unraveling of the cable knit sweater that was my first office job. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After I had worked there for awhile, kicking all forms of butt, the VP talked them into writing me a 'bonus' check for $1,500 to get a new car. Why? Besides all the kicking of butts, the VP liked me for whatever reason. Also, and most importantly, somehow she happened to get a look at my Camaro, and she insisted I take this check and immediately go get another car. ANY other car. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have no idea who called her attention to my car, or how she knew this car was mine, but I'm guessing it had something to do with one of two things:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">1. I was the only teenager who worked there. Remember the movie "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead?" Kelly Bundy had to get a job after the babysitter died, and she pretended to be an adult, but really she was in high school, and this whole period of my life FELT EXACTLY LIKE THAT.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><em>Actually for the most part? My life still feels like that.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">2. Many times I would arrive at work super early (long story) and be the first person there not in the royal family. The CFO, the VP's dad would say,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"Joy, you get the worm!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Therefore he knew my car was the only car in the lot he didn't recognize. That make sense?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Also, my car stuck out like a broken cartoon thumb just smashed by a carnival hammer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My first car was a bitchen Camaro my sister gave me. Super sweet, coolest first car EVER, that is until I spun it like a top in the rain and slammed into a guard rail. Totally sober. It spun all the time in the lightest of rain. That car was just front heavy and some bags of sand in the trunk didn't make a difference.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yo91Ya9KFOY/VWnH7fMI4OI/AAAAAAAAEoE/tOxDZebASIg/s1600/1Shade.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="512" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yo91Ya9KFOY/VWnH7fMI4OI/AAAAAAAAEoE/tOxDZebASIg/s640/1Shade.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This was NOT it, but look how much CAR is in the front compared to the back. Right? <em><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">collectorcarpricetracker.com</span></em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After that, the hood would never go all the way down. So we</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> had to have a huge, metal chain wrap around and lock under the car to hold it down. And it didn't fit all the way back down. I wish I had a picture because now? Looking back? It was hysterical. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">At the time it was embarrassing. Anywhere I went, everyone for miles around knew JOY IS HERE. When people arrived at places I was, the big joke was, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"Is Joy here?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">or sarcastically pointing out that I was, in fact, there, met with a response like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"Oh, I was wondering whose car that was"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">and whatnot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">For the VP of this company, I'm sure it was what a layperson might call "an eyesore."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Butt, it was paid for and I didn't have money to get it fixed. I wish I did have a picture, this was after Polaroids and before digital cameras so I think I have a TOTAL of 8 pictures from these decades. <strong>Dropping off film</strong> to be developed was hard, man. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I also had to crawl underneath the car and unlock/unwrap that giant, comical, medieval chain each time I needed to lift the hood to check the oil. Which was about once a week, because it was always low. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So the car looked a little like the one above. Except no blue stripes, and there were now dings and dents and oh, also? The hood was always open a little bit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">It <i>always</i> looked like the car was just smashed by a car, or I had just came from an accident. NBD right? Unless you saw it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><em>Also UNLESS you happen to be driving in an area where there was a hit and run. That story is the one from my Scary Police Officers post, where I got pulled over and the cops scared me half to death because they thought I just hit someone and drove away. But I didn't.</em></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><em><span style="color: #444444;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Tangent story, but it happened with this car.</span></span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, when word got out that the Camaro was mine, it brought all the characters out of the woodwork. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">A lot of people needed to hear why the hood wouldn't close.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">What happened?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Was anyone hurt?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Did I get a ticket?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Was I drinking? </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"><em>Like everyone asked that one. But I wasn't, and I still have a witness. </em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">It was the talk of the place for awhile, which drove that love-r-ly Lisa girl <strong>crazy </strong>as you can imagine. This was an office building, so the lot was full of station wagons, various family trucksters and sedans, your Toyota Celicas, Chevy Cavaliers and whatnot, and then my steamping heap. Changing the whole look of the place from Professional Office Building to Indoor Flea Market with black market back alley deals.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Most of my co-workers put up a supportive front, especially dudes because:<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Camaro</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">GIRL driving old Camaro</span><br />
Picture that scene in Vacation. Ok no, not really, not really at all. Totally different league. It just popped into my mind and made me laugh.<br />
<br />
Anyone who knows me now will definitely laugh hysterically at that, but back at this time? I took the advice of an older woman and bought a bunch of dresses and high heels to wear to work. Apparently that + Camaro was the formula for attracting the unwanted attention of every dude in the Midwest in the 90's. I hated almost every disgusting minute of it. <br />
<br />
If every guy just went away and left me alone when I asked him to? I probably would have loved it. Maybe I would be a pleasant person today, who can say. Instead? I will never drive a sports car or wear dresses pretty much ever again. My husband is lucky I even decided to keep dating dudes. Instead of murdering them with a hammer, which would have been understandable in my situation.</span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This was the first place I learned about how persi</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">stent and sneaky dudes can be when they want to date you. Even if you've told them you're not interested. Or that you're already dating someone. Or that you shouldn't date because you work together. Or whatever. Guys don't care what you think or what you want a lot of times. It was even worse then.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One guy, let's call him Jim, was one such dude. He always acted like the office Nice Guy. And maybe he was a nice guy, I don't know. All I know was how he suddenly changed, turned things around on me, and how mortified he was that I didn't eat up his bullcrap. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He made it a point to come around and talk to me and ask me questions, like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Does this tie match these pants?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Jim was (probably still is if he's still alive) completely <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">color blind</span></strong>. That was literally the most interesting thing about him, in his own mind anyway. He said he really could only see shades of black, white and brown. So EVERY photo was sepia-toned to Jim. Lucky! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">However, this meant Jim had a hard time picking out clothing and knowing what matched with what. Jim told everyone he ever passed on the street this story. As another co-worker guessed, it probably got him a lot of attention, if not sympathy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">His mother had to sew cute little tags into his ties and pants for work, triangle for blue, square for red, I think rectangle for green. You get the idea. This way he could just pick a triangle tie with triangle pants and be on his way. Pretty genius actually. But he still used this whole thing to ask chicks if he matched. The sympathy card maybe, or just an excuse to start a chat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, Jim did thing that a lot of dudes I would work with tried over the years:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The "work outing." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As in, they want to date you but instead of just asking for a date, they pretend it's just a couple of co-workers you know, just hanging out. No big whoop.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was only 17 so I had no idea this was even a thing. Seriously, if you have young kids, cousins, or family members, let them know about this trick. It's a trap!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He had an "extra ticket" to a baseball game and would I want to go? Just a work outing, no pressure. But then he wouldn't take any money for the ticket. And then insisted on buying my drinks. Which, in my dumb mind, he had to because I was only 17 and I couldn't legally buy beer, but he wouldn't take any money for it later.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then, after 2 of these such outings when he tried to kiss me, and I wouldn't do it, he acted like I was the worst person in the world for going on two "dates" (suddenly they were dates because ANYONE could figure that out, duh) and wasn't I just such a young dumb dumb. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">The weird thing was, we may have eventually gotten to that point if he wasn't such a jerk about it. We got along well enough. We had enough in common to have good conversations. Clearly I was willing to go places with him and we had fun. I wasn't initially attracted to him, but I always (and still do) liked people for the way they made me <strong>feel </strong>more than anything else. At first he made me feel smart and funny. He got my dry humor, we talked about books, current events, Andy Rooney, weird stuff I couldn't talk about with dudes my own age. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I was also......how do I put this? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Not one of those girls that was hard to get. I know what you're thinking, that is NOT how you would say it. I was a bit of what you might call a tramp. If you were religious, judgmental, jealous, or afraid to use the word whore. But at least all of my shenanigans were on my own terms. This is what feminism is about for me on a personal level. MY choices, MY call. I was just more of a tomboy and acted more like a dude about a lot of things. And that was okay. However, this Jim situation threw me for a loop. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">He tried an immediate audible Friend Zone/Co-Worker switcheroo, and this was the first job I really cared about keeping. To me it was totally out of left field, keeping with the baseball theme. I was dating someone else, was naive in the ways of men (spoiler: Lots of them are really gross.) I was going through a tough time in my personal life, and I totally misread this situation like the 3rd base coach was waving for me to run home, and I stayed firm on 2nd. A real home run of a situation badly handled.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Jim didn't understand, or handle it like a nice guy. Or the older person. Or a human person. Months later when I took the guy I was ACTUALLY dating, like with my own real <strong>consent</strong>, to an <em>actual</em> work outing, Jim pulled him aside and warned him that he shouldn't be dating me, because I was "really young." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Barf.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I mean, I <em>was </em>really young. I had to be either 18 or 19, maximum, because the company crumbled when I was 19. But the guy I was actually dating was only a few years older than I. Also the guy I was actually dating wasn't trying to pull any stunts or trick me into anything I wasn't down with, so my age wasn't a factor. At all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I also, not long after this, dated someone who was almost <strong>10 years older than I was</strong> and that was fine and dandy like huckleberry candy. No trickery, no problem. I guess that's the lesson.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Young people: Let there be NO gray area with consent. People around young people: Make sure they know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Dudes trying to trick people: Anything without consent is illegal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">So after this happened, then at work, this once seemingly <strong>super nice guy</strong> would walk by my desk and sarcastically ask about the guy I was actually dating. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">How was he doing? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">What does he do for a living? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">And the like.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VahvGd2Aw4w/VWnN254RJyI/AAAAAAAAEoU/v-gEGj3tXfY/s1600/1111.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="532" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VahvGd2Aw4w/VWnN254RJyI/AAAAAAAAEoU/v-gEGj3tXfY/s640/1111.PNG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Oh relax, I know not ALL colorblind people are evil. Just all men.</span><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;">from Imnotrightinthehead.com</span></em></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Jim found out somehow when this guy I was actually dating and I were going through a rough patch I was dating someone else, and it was a complete nightmare. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I could not avoid Jim, or this never-ending line of intensely uncomfortable questioning, because I was the receptionist so I was stuck at the front desk. Not only stuck there, but I had a brilliant idea about how everyone could get their mail, by coming up by ME in a huge tickler file I created. I cleaned out an entire drawer of a filing cabinet and put a file with everyone's name in it, where I filed their mail. Every day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Which seemed like a good idea, until everyone from the company actually started to come up and get their mail, usually after I had to remind them 20 times, and then would strike up conversations with me. Worst idea ever. I learned everything about people's lives, the fake stuff they wanted to brag about anyway, and they asked questions about mine. I learned how much people in Chicagoland really give a frick about the WEATHER. So much. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Remember, I could not just get up and walk away. I just had to sit there like a bartender, but without drinks. I was like Sam Malone without Carla and Norm to entertain me. This isn't where I <em>started</em> to hate people, but this clinched it for sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">In my defense, I HAD to do something in terms of the mail delivery because the old system? Was driving Lisa just completely insane. The old system was:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">The receptionist would walk around delivering everyone's mail to their desks. While this happened, people would chat me up and inevitably the switchboard would ring so I would have to answer it using other people's phones, and try to find people while not at the switchboard, etc. This process not only took forever, but it was obvious that every time I chatted with someone, especially Jim, Lisa would die inside a little.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Jim would come 'check his mail' or 'check for messages' at least 4 times a day, always with comments and chit-chat. I would find out later (long story) Lisa may have had a thing for Jim. That's at least another post or 7, but this may have explained her absolute hatred of me, since Jim was always talking to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Like Jim with Pam from The Office. The American one. Even though, very unlike Pam, I just sat there, smiling as politely as I could and saying as little as any human being with a mouth could say because I hated Jim by this time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Lisa was the roommate of Melissa, who was the head of marketing and having an extra-marital affair with the much older married president of the company. I take back the much older part, just the married part really bothered me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I should probably give these birds fake names, but I don't know, I can't think of any right now and who cares if they find this blog. All of this was 100% true and those biotches were totally mean to me so they deserve their stories to be told. Anyway, somehow Lisa convinced Melissa to convince the president to put Lisa in charge of the receptionist and all of her doings. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Lisa would follow me around, correcting me, telling me to go back to my desk, listen to my conversations and constantly tell me the same things over and over. She called a meeting once with me, her, Melissa for reasons still not known to me and Dee, just so she could talk about how I shouldn't be making personal calls. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">This happened because ONE TIME my grandmother called me at work to see if I could come take her to the store later. Lisa heard this because she was always watching me and listening to everything, and I had to speak loudly to my grandmother so she could hear me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">The phone conversation lasted all of maybe 90 seconds. The meeting? Was over an hour long.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Before this time, Dee was 'in charge' of my comings and goings and daily tasks. Dee, in case you missed the earlier posts, was the secretary to the president of the company. Dee and Melissa did not get along, which surprised me. Dee was having an extra-marital affair with my dad's super drunk waste of skin BFF, Dwayne, so you would think they would have shared Gold Digging secrets or get pedicures together or something. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">The early 90's were a <strong>super romantic</strong> time to be alive, I guess. The divorce rate was lower, no doubt because everyone just stayed married and had affairs with each other? Is that better, religious people? Clear it up for a girl, would ya? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I don't know, I was just a dumb kid obvy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">How and why a different secretary suddenly had to watch my every move, listen to my every conversation, and go out of her way to tell me I shouldn't be spending so much time 'talking to people,' I don't know. I also don't know why she thought it would be a good idea for a receptionist to be rude to people who came to talk to her, but this is exactly what she told me to do. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Things like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"You can say 'Hi' back, but then let people know you have work to do."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Even though I really didn't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I was always asking people if there were things I could be doing when the phone wasn't ringing. You know, since Lisa made sure I couldn't get up from the desk to deliver mail and faxes to people anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Yes, let's go back once more in the way-back machine to a time when people sent faxes! On curly fax paper that came out in ONE LONG ROLL, so you had to physically CUT the paper into page-size pieces. TRUE STORY.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pfnzdV3ThVE/VWnSi346MQI/AAAAAAAAEog/g24qOfifQYU/s1600/1111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pfnzdV3ThVE/VWnSi346MQI/AAAAAAAAEog/g24qOfifQYU/s640/1111.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">punch.photoshelter.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">When I first started, Dee told me to call people when they received a fax and set it in their phone message tray.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">What's a phone message tray? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Weeeellllll, before voice mail actual people (me) answered switchboard, transferred calls to certain extensions by PUNCHING IN NUMBERS with actual meaty, flesh fingers, and if that call didn't get answered?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">That's right.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">The call came back to ME.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">If they wanted to leave the person a message, I had to write it down, like with a pen, and put the paper in a place where they could come and get it when they got back from lunch, meeting, wherever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"><br />Every employee would walk by my desk in the morning, when they got back from lunch, or out of a meeting and come to check the wheel for messages and/or faxes.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--ZlrX39X3do/VWnhX4aWr-I/AAAAAAAAEpE/P-nisnwyD3s/s1600/1111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--ZlrX39X3do/VWnhX4aWr-I/AAAAAAAAEpE/P-nisnwyD3s/s400/1111.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">We had two of these, with every person's name on a slot.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">When taking a message, it was my job to ask the caller for their name, company name even though 99% of the time the caller would say,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"They know who I am, and they know what this is regarding."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Then when I gave people the message, they would ask me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"WHO is this? What company are they with? What did they want?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">So even though no caller out of a thousand wanted to take the time to tell me their info, I had to press them for the spelling of their name if I couldn't figure it out, their company name, phone number, what the call was regarding, and various other questions people would later ask me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"Did he sound mad?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Most of the time my answer was the same,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">"I don't remember because we get probably thousands of calls a day and I take at least 50 messages a day."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">This was almost never an acceptable answer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">People also couldn't comprehend that if they lost their piece of paper with their phone message on it, that I didn't somehow still <em>have </em>that number. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">That's when I discovered phone message books that made another copy. This made me several people's personal hero. </span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LD3YKFt0g1E/VWnUjQA8PvI/AAAAAAAAEo0/xsBJNi_3b28/s1600/1111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LD3YKFt0g1E/VWnUjQA8PvI/AAAAAAAAEo0/xsBJNi_3b28/s640/1111.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just by writing on these, you made a copy you could keep. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My book was 4-up, but you get the idea.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>from sunriseimports.com</em></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I didn't invent them, but I ordered them and you would not believe how happy people got. I could not only flip back through their own old messages, have the phone number, name, date, time, etc., but also that I would let people flip through this book while I was answering other calls and they could see <strong>other people's messages!</strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I'm not sure if every office was like an episode of Dynasty in the 90's, but a lot of the ones I worked at were. This was everything to a lot of people. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">A lot of things happened after this, but for purposes of wrapping THIS up:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I bought a sensible 4-door blue Corsica. Good car, great gas mileage. Though after a Camaro, my bar was low.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Lisa gave herself MS, or maybe karma gave her MS, for real. She had a diagnoses from a doctor and was on medical leave when the company blew up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I dated that guy I dated with consent, on and off and on again for a loooong time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I may have, later, kind of, dated a different dude from this company for a short period of time. Welp.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I have to stop at this point. I'm sure this post is 'too long' as my husband would say, and I need to go back and clean it up. But also this old laptop is starting to freak out. Literally if I hit BACKSPACE right now, it actually <strong>closes this post</strong> and does not save anything from the last time I manually clicked "Save." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">This has happened twice, and unlike the message books of the 90's, I don't have another copy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I need to take a bat to a fax machine in a field right now, so until next time, peace out Home Skillets.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">__________________________</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">If you haven't seen the movie "Office Space" and you've ever worked in an office, with pretty much anyone, you really need to see it. Just don't watch it too many times if you still work in an office. Sometimes it just feels too good to be a gangster.</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-66673140041412097782015-05-17T05:42:00.001-07:002015-05-17T07:31:31.160-07:00Things 100 Year Olds Are Tired Of Hearing<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The person I was raised to be wants to follow up that title "Things 100 Year Olds Are Tired Of Hearing"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">with something like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Nothing. They're glad to hear anything at 100!"</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MUDolK4FUGg/VVYPlwDlHqI/AAAAAAAAEmk/kj0q_-Fe2aA/s1600/_______%2BNY%2B2014.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MUDolK4FUGg/VVYPlwDlHqI/AAAAAAAAEmk/kj0q_-Fe2aA/s320/_______%2BNY%2B2014.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So tacky, right? As people are living longer, the idea of 'old' is quickly changing. 100 is the 90. So don't tell a 100 yr old person they look great with complete shock in your voice, or say things like:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"My God I can't believe you're still alive."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">You don't have to share that you really hope you don't live that long, or wonder out loud what is the point of living that long. Just get them something soft to gum and listen to their stories, trying to gleen lessons from history.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">What am I getting at? Oh yeah, the TToT turns 100! Very exciting! It looks great and is still getting around, with plenty to teach all of us.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j2HRRs29CcM/VViMOEOgt8I/AAAAAAAAEnA/06aPATlNk74/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j2HRRs29CcM/VViMOEOgt8I/AAAAAAAAEnA/06aPATlNk74/s320/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" width="299" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who doesn't love blue cake balls?<br />
Or do you say Cake Pops?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I would like to pre-apologize for that picture. I made it, I'm terrible at those kinds of things. It's so bad it's funny and I'm out of time for anything that isn't doting on my family so I'm going with it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The Ten Things of Thankful is a blogger experience, kind of like a blog hop except it's not just a place to drop a link like it's hot and get the heck out of there. It's a place to meet amazing people, doing wonderful things in this sometimes dark, cold, lonely world. This weekend is the 100th happenstance of that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I wanted to write up something really special, then I remembered who I am so here is what I came up with instead.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm beyond thankful to the <b>good</b> people, okay <i>all </i>people (nyuk nyuk) of the TToT. They have made it possible for me to continue blogging through times when it was really hard to do so. Even after I learned I'll never make any money doing this, they made me realize you can actually do things in life without getting paid if they make you <b>happy</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">For way too long I forgot about that as an adult. Which sucks about adulting, but it's a reality of having to pay bills. Especially in a world where everything you have to buy goes up in price every year, but you don't get salary increases. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The Ten Things of Thankful is a great practice. Every week, no matter how bad the week, you find<b> 10 things you're thankful for</b>. Some weeks are easier than others. It's the tough weeks, that's when I need this the most. To change my perspective, to remember how far I've come, and how much we have that we take for granted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">If you haven't joined in, try it sometime. <a href="http://new.inlinkz.com/view.php?id=526270" target="_blank">Click here to link up</a>. If you don't have a blog, just list 10 things you're thankful for in the comments. Any 10 things, big or small. Some things feel like more than one item, like this list right here. It's worth 10. The SBoR (Secret Book of Rules) says this is okay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">It's very important to take time for ourselves and do things that feed our spirit. That is priceless, and in this time in very short supply.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Thanks everyone, for the reminder.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Thanks Lizzi, for never-ending support and everything you do. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Cheers and glitter and cake to you, my friend! LOVE YOU.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xD4UfKQeiMQ/VViIddYAkMI/AAAAAAAAEm4/IEDupIOpW2E/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xD4UfKQeiMQ/VViIddYAkMI/AAAAAAAAEm4/IEDupIOpW2E/s640/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" width="638" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Aaaand since I saw <a href="http://amycakeandthedude.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">AmyCake and the Dude </a>do this, I'm totally copying her!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was tagged for the FOUR questions by Vanessa of <a href="http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/" target="_blank">Heels and a Tool Box</a>, which if you don't already follow you really should. She's hilarious and this blog actually teaches you real life things, without boring you to death with book learnin. Often I learn and laugh, and what's better than that?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She asked me some questions, here are some answers.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9LROmlVlHII/VViVxhWnhfI/AAAAAAAAEnM/d9nw3Hyv758/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9LROmlVlHII/VViVxhWnhfI/AAAAAAAAEnM/d9nw3Hyv758/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<i style="color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px;">Four names people call me other than my real name:</i><br />
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Mom. Mommy. "MOMMMIIIEEEEEYYY I NEED YOU" like it's all one word.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Shrimp. My dad's nickname for me. Flattering yes, and also true. I'm delicious with garlic and butter.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">B*tch. In my family, that's not an insult. Sometimes in life you have to be.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Dah-lin'. My husband Alex would come home from work and say "Hello Dahlin" and my youngest caught on and will still randomly say "Hello Dahlin" or say things like, "Come on, Dahlin it's time for books" and whatnot. It's hilarious.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four jobs I’ve had:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Waitress – in an Illinois Bell training facility, so not as many drunk jerks as the public.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Receptionist, BEFORE voice mail. I had to scratch people's messages on the side of caves. I started writing about it, I just started the latest installment which talks about how different that job used to be.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Customer Service for a pager company. Imagine the type of clients that needed pagers in the 90's. Yeah, not a lot of doctors called us panicked about being cut off for non-payment.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Office Manager for the worst kind of evil our country has ever faced: Rich white dudes.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four movies I would/have watched more than once:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Fight Club "The things you own ending up owning you."</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Reservoir Dogs "Nevermind what you normally would do, just throw in a buck..."</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Any Harry Potter movie "I solemly swear I am up to no good."</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Monty Python The Holy Grail "You could have called me 'Dennis'." "I didn't know you were called Dennis, I said I was sorry about the woman thing, but from behind...."</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four books I would recommend:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Anything by George RR Martin SONG OF ICE AND FIRE series is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. and I have 3 kids.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Anything by Stephen King, especially DUMA KEY</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Anything by Dean Koontz, especially LIFE EXPECTANCY</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Anything by Jonathon Kellerman especially DEVIL'S WALTZ</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">and John Irving, haven't read everything yet but A WIDOW FOR ONE YEAR is amazing.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four places I have lived:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Illinois. I moved a lot, they were all pretty much the same: Crowded, horrible weather but lots of jobs and things to do because we're less than an hour from Chicago. The greatest place on earth to live. Except for the weather. And taxes. And traffic.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four places I have been:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">California. Lovely, too many cars</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">London. LOVE IT. Want to go back. Also in the city? Too many cars.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">New Orleans. The music and the food? Amazing. Too many drunks.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Florida. Fun place to visit. Too much humidity.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four places I would rather be right now:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">See the four places above. ALL OF THEM. Plus Michigan, where my sister's lake house is located. It's a great place to get back to nature, and by that I mean drink in a lake.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Also Las Vegas, but only for 3-4 days. That's all I can handle.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">My bed. Always and forever. </li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">My bathtub. Until I get bored. Or sleepy.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four things I don’t eat:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Kale. It tastes like the floor of a haunted cave.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Arugula. It is just awful. I don't care how good it is for you.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Tea. I'm sorry Lizzi, but it tastes like ear waxes. Don't tell me to sweeten it with Honey. It's bee poop and it smells and tastes like it.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Arby's. How the hell are they still in business?! Seriously. Are they a front for terrorists? That seems appropriate in so many ways.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four of my favorite foods:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Tacos. Forever.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Soup. I'm gonna be an awesome elderly person. I'm ready.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Hamburgers. Though that may just be bc someone was grilling yesterday.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Chocolate</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four television shows I watch:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Game</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">of</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Thrones</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Daily Show. </li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four things I’m looking forward to this year:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">My daughter being potty trained. PLEASE HAPPEN THIS YEAR PLEASE.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Watching new kids. I'll leave it at that.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Lola is starting kindergarten in the fall.</li>
<li style="border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">Bug is supposed to start pre-school, IF she's potty trained. PLEASE.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
<i>Four things I’m always saying:</i></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #2c2b2b; font-family: arial; line-height: 18px; list-style-position: outside; margin: 10px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">GO TO THE BATHROOM if you have to go. (1 million times a day)</li>
<li style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">It doesn't matter what ________ (other people) do, we do it this way.</li>
<li style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">I'm tired. I really am.</li>
<li style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 0px none; list-style-image: url(http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/wp-content/themes/graphene/images/list-style-image.png); margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px;">I love you. I say it a lot.</li>
</ul>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-69600150505298920712015-05-05T19:53:00.000-07:002015-05-07T15:07:47.321-07:00Nothing Ever Happens<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have a treat for you. No it's not cookies, but that's pretty funny. It's a guest post, and you know what that means: Complete sentences! Proper grammar! A well-defined point about something important! In honor of Mental Health Month.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">From Lizzi at <a href="https://summat2thinkon.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Considerings</a> blog.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Nothing ever happens (but it needs to)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>“Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>The needle returns to the start of the song</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And we all sing along like before</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow”</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Nothing ever happens</i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">– Del Amitri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Have you ever encountered someone with a mental illness? What was your experience of them? Let me take you through a few scenarios I’ve encountered in my life:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sitting across from the man who was supposed to love me forever, as he explained with deadened eyes that he loved me, but not enough to want to be alive at the end of the day. Hearing that he was only happy when he was with me, and he wasn’t really all that happy then, and it just didn’t balance out how utterly shit the rest of life was.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Flinching at the peculiar atmosphere in the mental hospital, listening to my best friend in all the world laugh, as she recounted how eventually she’d realised her overdose wasn’t going to kill her, and she’d lain in the bathtub for three days waiting for death, and it hadn’t happened (while outside, we who loved her had all been driven frantic with worry).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Trying to keep an accepting face on, whilst a man in that same mental hospital explained that the reason he was alive was because he was too stupid – he hadn’t understood enough about anatomy, and so when he’d cut open his own chest to take out his heart, he’d been stymied because he’d cut open the wrong side, and had been saved, but now was facing discharge from the hospital, and a lonely house to himself, and the thought of that utterly terrified him, to the point where he was planning his next attempt on his own life to get sent back into the hospital, where he could feel safe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Living with my guard up at every moment, and treading on eggshells, waiting for the next explosion of anger or hatred or undermining; wondering who the next victim would be, and not having enough wits to wonder if this was normal for everyone – then begging for the family to split up, so we could be rid of him, and safe (if he’d already rejected us, and didn’t love us, and saw us as a burden to be dealt with, why stay?)…but never having the confidence to run away, because he would get me back and that would be worse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A boy and a girl huddled together on a bed, shaking, after their mother screamed and swore at them and told them awful, terrible things, and the girl crying, and the boy, with his bravest face on, telling her that he would look after her and cuddle her and love her…and in the next room, their mother, having slammed out, crumbled to the floor in pieces because she knew she was propagating the cycle of abuse she had suffered as a child.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hearing sobbing over the phone, as the world of someone I love, crumbled about her ears again, and trying to empathise as she expressed how much she wanted to die, and how she was no good, and everyone would be better off without her, and that nothing she could ever be would be enough, so why bother – why put herself through the agony of living?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Seeing the anguish in a friend’s eyes as he talked of his friend of nearly 40 years, who lost his job and was put into a system by the government which required him to volunteer for normal working hours, whilst still expecting him to somehow find gainful employment, and how this had been too much, and he’d been unable to cope, so had thrown himself from a bridge into the river which runs through the city, and died…and how my friend still sometimes sees his friend’s identical twin in passing, and it sends him crazy with grief because he thinks for just a second that his friend is back…then remembers that he’s never coming back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In each case, there was isolation, a feeling of aloneness, hopelessness, and not being heard or understood. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The interventions were often inept, or were notable by their complete absence.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And society spins on, focusing on new royal babies, what the Kardashians have been doing with their bums, the repercussions of punching your television producer when you’re the star of the show, and which political party is the most vehemently against which other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Society trudges against the uphill onslaught of advertising, media, conflicting stories shouting at each other, telling people where to shop, what to eat, how to exercise, when to sleep and why they should keep going and keep going and keep going, and go to bed for your eight hours sleep whilst the needle returns to the start of the song and we wake up and do it all again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There is little attention paid to those who struggle with this system, and who find the uphill struggle insurmountable. There is precious little funding or intervention or care. There is an abundance of stigma and the preference that a distasteful matter like mental illness please be swept firmly underneath the carpet and we can all carry on without the boat being rocked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Until someone snaps.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And then their nearest and dearest are left to pick up the pieces and deal with the fall-out, and try to put together what’s left of their loved one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If there’s anything left.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If there’s anyone left to care.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And we all go along like before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And it needs to change.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need mental health issues to be dragged out from under their carpets and placed centre stage in the medical and social care communities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need people to feel able to talk about mental health matters or access support services without feeling stigmatised or experiencing prejudice or ridicule.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need to take the needle off, throw the record out of the window, and CHANGE how we approach this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But we can only do that collectively, and we can only get collective if people care.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We must appeal to their imagination and their sense of empathy, and make them use it, and nurture that use. We must engender compassion. We must create relatable scenarios from which they can extrapolate into real life, if they have no-one in their ken who struggles with these issues.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And one way we can do that is through entertainment – movies like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or The Perks of Being a Wallflower; songs like ‘Don’t let me get me’ (Pink) or ‘Marry the night’ (Lady Gaga); books like Girl, Interrupted (Susannah Kaysen) or Dear Stephanie (Mandi Castle)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I work best with books – I immerse in them, and both those I’ve listed took me to entirely different worlds and made me care. Girl, Interrupted has been around for ages, and there’s a movie version too, which is brilliant. Dear Stephanie is brand new (going to be released on May 11th) and I’m excited, because new and interesting is easier to get people talking about.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It follows the story of Paige Preston; an intelligent, fabulously rich beauty, whose only objective in life is her own pleasure, and manipulating others to get it, whilst trying to battle her inner demons and resist another attempt on her own life. It’s sexy, it’s gritty, and it WILL get people talking.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let them talk;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And then let them CHANGE.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dear-Stephanie-Mandi-Castle-ebook/dp/B00WGYD2LM" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pre-order Dear Stephanie here</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lizzi is a Deep Thinker, Truth-Teller and seeker of Good Things. She’s also silly, irreverent and tries to write as beautifully as possible. She sends glitterbombs and gathers people around her - building community wherever she can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lizzi is a founder member of Sisterwives and #1000Speak, and hosts the Ten Things of Thankful bloghop each weekend. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Considerings">https://www.facebook.com/Considerings</a></span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-41811143911029961702015-05-01T08:26:00.000-07:002015-05-02T06:04:06.705-07:00What You Should Know About Your Free Choice<div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">A couple of people sent me/tagged me the story of the <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/mom-lunch-shamed-school-packing-oreos-daughter/story?id=30674158" target="_blank">Cookies-for-Lunch-Mom</a>. If you don't know what that is, basically a mother sent packaged cookies </span><i>(brand name purposely omitted. She also sent string cheese and a sandwich) </i><span style="font-size: large;">for her daughter's preschool lunch. A teacher sent the cookies home, giving the child a healthier alternative and told the mom she shouldn't send those. Instead of considering what's best for her child, the mother got very defensive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Naturally I agree with the teacher, as she is 100% right. Unfortunately, these days you can say almost anything you want to as long as you're not trying to tell Americans to put down their guns, let alone their packaged pre-made convenience foods. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Whatever your opinion on the matter, the rule remains: </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Kids should bring a "<b>healthy</b> snack." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even Dr. Oz couldn't spin an argument that packaged cookies are a healthy snack. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, what you feed your kids is your choice, however:</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here's the THING about your free choice.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When you send a lunch or a snack for your child to eat at SCHOOL, in front of all of the other children, it is so important to follow the school's rules. They are made for good reasons. </span><span style="font-size: large;">There are children who have allergies, or medical conditions and you aren't being fair to those kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some kids are, for one example, deathly allergic to peanuts. As an American you're free to feed your child peanuts in your home. If you send peanuts to <i>school</i>, you could cause a serious allergic reaction. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This isn't your choice anymore, now you're choosing for other children. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is similar to the debate on vaccinations. You may think you should be able to choose for your child, and in a perfect world maybe you should. Unless, that is, you ever plan on your child interacting with, talking to, or being around, other children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And if you don't, you can stop reading because I don't have any idea what you're about in this world. People need each other. Society is a necessary tool for human survival. This predates The Wildlings asking for help from The Watchers on the Wall in Game of Thrones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Fictional medieval characters aside, keeping your child from society would be like Texas getting it's ultimate wish and seceding from the United States. Then the next day when Cuba or any other country declares war on a single state, I'll give you ONE guess who would suddenly decide they <i>do</i> need the help of federal government after all?</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><i><span style="color: #666666;">from kernelmag.dailydot.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">To get all the benefits of a <b>society</b>, you have to consider the laws and rules. They are in place for the well-being and safety of everyone. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. That's actually from Star Trek, as if we needed one more nerdy pop culture reference, but it's absolutely true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When you don't vaccinate your child, you're forcing <i>your</i> choice on others. That's not okay. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You don't get to choose for others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When you send your child to school with candy, crackers, cookies and anything else in a package full of chemicals and artificial colors and ingredients, now it's not just your choice for your child. You are now undermining every parent who chooses a healthy path for their child. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Besides establishing healthy eating habits, there are several legitimate, <b>medical reasons</b> why parents might choose certain foods for their children. Some children are more sensitive to artificial colors, preservatives, and yes, also sweets. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some kids have juvenile diabetes, or allergies, or even ADD. They may need to avoid certain foods due to medical testing, and other doctor's orders. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Whatever the reasons, your choice affects other kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">While it's almost too late at the teen stage, the younger years are the developmental years to from good eating habits. It's beyond unfair to ask a child to watch another child eating something like cookies if they're not allowed to have them. That would be like me eating cake in front of your child and then telling your child, "Sorry, you can't have any." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's about the most cruel thing you could do to a kid. That is Harry Potter living under the stairs level torture. A kid would probably rather live under the stairs than watch that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The point is, the "healthy snack" rule is there for many reasons. If you feel the rules are unfair, take it up with the director(s) of the school, away from children. The time to argue is NOT during the school day, it's not by sending whatever you big fat want. Set a good example for your children, by following the rules. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #222222;">Kids will have plenty of time in their teen years and as an adult to rebel and be a non-conformist. The time for that is not preschool. </span><b><span style="color: #660000;">First we must learn to conform before we can understand what it truly means to be a non-conformist. </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Besides the fact that we should strive to set up healthy eating habits in our kids, we need to remember that there are other children in their classroom from different backgrounds. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Rules are made for all of us, by people who have a much different perspective than we have.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As far as the school lunch debate, there really isn't anything to argue about. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">No one is taking candy from your baby, you can feed your kids canned bread and cookies while teaching them how to load their guns at home. I'm pretty sure that's what our founding fathers intended when they wrote the Constitution.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QCrzc50zK_g/VUOWNtpoi4I/AAAAAAAAEkw/jR5uycIPqk4/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QCrzc50zK_g/VUOWNtpoi4I/AAAAAAAAEkw/jR5uycIPqk4/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">From Spongebob Squarepants. He gets it.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">At home, it is certainly your choice. I also really want you to know, my sarcasm aside, that processed foods affect different people in different ways. You may not notice any change in your children, but the fact remains that as soon as these Western foods are introduced into a civilization's diet, people start to get sick. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Down the road, if you and/or your family start to develop health problems, just know that our government and modern science probably isn't going to be able to jump in wearing a cape and immediately save the day. In pill form. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Because there already is a cure, it's called Prevention.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You can opt out, but please don't force other children away from this option before they get a chance to get started.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you feel the urge to debate this, please use that energy to Google what free radicals are and what antioxidants are and what processed food does to your body.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'll link a few articles below. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">An overview on Antioxidants</span></div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/antioxidants-topic-overview">http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/antioxidants-topic-overview</a></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;">Antioxidants and Free Radicals</span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.rice.edu/~jenky/sports/antiox.html">http://www.rice.edu/~jenky/sports/antiox.html</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On food additives and cancer</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.cancer.org/healthy/eathealthygetactive/acsguidelinesonnutritionphysicalactivityforcancerprevention/acs-guidelines-on-nutrition-and-physical-activity-for-cancer-prevention-food-additives">http://www.cancer.org/healthy/eathealthygetactive/acsguidelinesonnutritionphysicalactivityforcancerprevention/acs-guidelines-on-nutrition-and-physical-activity-for-cancer-prevention-food-additives</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;">Food dye and ADHD:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/food-dye-adhd">http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/food-dye-adhd</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Processed foods:</span></div>
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<a href="http://nutrition.about.com/od/askyournutritionist/f/processedfoods.htm"><span style="font-size: large;">http://nutrition.about.com/od/askyournutritionist/f/processedfoods.htm</span></a></div>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;">Note: </span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">People tagged me, I imagine, because I have been very verbal about my struggle to keep my kids on a path of eating healthy, whole foods. My son was/is a typical ADHD child, textbook case. Whatever you believe in, know that once I changed his diet and removed processed foods, not just sugar but artificial colors, ingredients and BLEACHED FLOURS, he got a lot better. With NO medication.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I saw this happen. I'm not quoting an article, or a chiropractor or anyone with a hidden agenda. I'm not selling anything. I just want my family to be healthy and happy. Period.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">That doesn't mean they can never have treats, quite the opposite. If you follow my blog, you know that recently my husband had to stage a full-on cake baking INTERVENTION. I needed to be stopped, or at least paced better in terms of sugar and butter intake, before I turned into a Willy Wonka character. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Food is my weakness. You know this if you've ever seen any picture of any part of me. You know this if you've seen my hands and the fat that has grown around my wedding band, making it impossible to remove unless it, or my finger, were surgically removed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />That said, I still struggle to put and keep my children on a healthy path. That means something else to every person. For me? That means limiting processed foods, and keeping sugary foods as a treat instead of a normal part of meals. They can have treats, AFTER eating nutritious foods that contain some sort of vitamin and/or mineral. And not after every meal because I don't feel setting them up to expect dessert after every meal is realistic, let alone healthy. I wish someone did this for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have always struggled with my weight, and that's okay. A few extra pounds are a lot more healthy than filling my body with chemicals and diet products. That's a choice I make, and I'm okay with it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is why I don't get angry or defensive if someone disagrees with me. If people don't accept me the way I am, that's their problem. Not mine.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-25760233385316755152015-04-13T07:12:00.002-07:002015-04-13T09:46:59.665-07:00The Thing I Remember That Happened After "I Hammered A Cop" <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This post is Part 2 of my "I Think I Hammered A Cop" story, a lovely Daddy-daughter memory. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/04/i-think-i-hammered-cop-my-old-man-story.html" target="_blank">Click here </a>to read Part 1 if you missed it. If you're thinking 'I wouldn't say I MISSED IT, Bob' you said it.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yyf-bg-yjoc/VR8_SaeJ0YI/AAAAAAAAEhQ/YqE5Qo8KlrQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yyf-bg-yjoc/VR8_SaeJ0YI/AAAAAAAAEhQ/YqE5Qo8KlrQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Continued:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The thing that I remember happening after the 'I think I hammered a cop' thing, was my first <b>Office Job</b> job interview. So yes, it's totally fitting that a scene from Office Space is here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The company developed workforce software for large companies and grew very quickly in the early 90's. For many reasons, some of which included the president of the company caring more about his extra-marital affair with the head of marketing than the actual company, it went out of business. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Not before I managed to accrue thousands of dollars of medical bills that their self-funded insurance would never cover. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm calling it a personal Win, however, for reasons I'll get into later.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Cut to my interview. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Vice President of the company, and I really want to make up a dramatic, soap opera name for this story, but I simply MUST share the actual name of the company. They're long gone, or bought out or acquired or whatever happened early 90's but the name is just so </span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>classic 80's software company.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I came to work there in the the early 90's, but the logo name and font screamed 80's:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Infotronix</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Right? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">or was it </span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: blue;">Infotron-X</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think the X was capitalized at the end.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Meh, either way.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Can't you just see the blue 8-bit font when you read that name? InfotronX. I hear it spoken in a computal robot voice. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">There are still things floating around the internet with that name, but it doesn't have the logo they had then. Kind of this.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rWwQM56G7Nw/VSu9ZRDae1I/AAAAAAAAEjg/jm4UgCsJvHk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rWwQM56G7Nw/VSu9ZRDae1I/AAAAAAAAEjg/jm4UgCsJvHk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe4.jpg" height="252" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">This was the font, but in IBM blue. Literally. Probably.</span><br />
<i style="color: #999999;">from lucapedroti.com</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The VP asked me how I heard about the job, and I told her honestly,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"My father's friend's girlfriend Dee works here. She's Assistant to the President." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The President </span><i>(I guess this was before "CEO" became the lingo)</i><span style="font-size: large;"> turned out to be the VP's brother. She was suddenly <b>very interested</b> in my dad's friend, and asked me a lot of questions. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>What was his name? </i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dwayne.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Dwayne?</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(She asked his last name, I don't know if I knew it then. I didn't remember it at all when I started writing this, but my brother reminded me at Easter. I'll leave that out even though it would hysterical to see how many police reports, court articles and restraining order-type internet results would come up from searching it. It's a rather common name, so I would hate to incriminate any innocent people with that name.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>How long has this been her boyfriend?</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I really don't know. He's my father's friend.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(How the hell would <b>I</b> know that?)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank all the gods old and new, I avoided Dwayne even more than I avoided my old man, because I didn't know anything about him. Except that he was a big ole drunk, bumbling ass of a man. I didn't mention that to her.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After answering many uncomfortable and obviously personal questions, I finally got to meet Dwayne's girlfriend. <b>Not</b> what I expected.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She was much younger than Dwayne, I was shocked by how pretty she was. And you know, sober. If you missed last week's post, Dwayne was a walking whiskey bag. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She was a very polite, professional woman of the 80's, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(even though 90's)</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> all smiles and tight dress and very high heels and all 'so nice to meet you' and 'I've heard so much about you.' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then as soon as we were alone, she morphed completely. Her face melted from a calm, confident ear-to-ear all-perfectly-white-teeth smile into an urgent grimace of evil. Her eyes wanted to melt me down into a puddle of water. That could not talk. That could not for Christsake <i>say</i> anything else. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She demanded,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"<b>WHY</b> would you tell her that Dwayne is my<i> boyfriend</i>?!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's what my father told me, I explained innocently. And truthfully.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ooohh noooo, she assured me. That father of mine, what the hell?! She noticed how confused I was, kind of paused and went with, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Oh, your dad, he's such a <b>goof</b>." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Dwayne just <i>couldn't</i> be her boyfriend, she literally insisted through clenched teeth: She is MARRIED. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And everyone at the company knows it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Silly me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This isn't true, my father is just teasing her. He just loves to tease people, he's really just too much. You don't know the half of it, Missy. Well, it turned out she did.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Buuuut, anway....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This was my introduction to the world of Office Jobs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One of the most uncomfortable situations you can possibly imagine in life, let alone for your first interview for a job with insurance benefits.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Somehow I got the job. Either the VP loved me, she always helped me while I was there, or more likely she just wanted to gleen more information about her brother's assistant from me. Or mayhaps my old man had something on Dee and was successfully able to convinced her to put in a good word for me or something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Either way they hired me and I learned oh-so-very-much about the political back-stabbing, cheating, walk on top of people to get ahead, two-faced, lying liars who lie world of Office BUSINESS. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The VP definitely did try to get more interesting information out of me about Dee, this woman who was her brother's assistant. And bat shit crazy. Again, I'm not being dramatic here. She <i>was </i>having an affair. With my dad's disgusting, smelly drunk drug-addled friend, who <b>thinks he hammered a cop</b>. Just exactly how all modern love stories begin.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The confusing tone of the day of my interview would be the nature of mine and Dee's relationship. She would smile and compliment everyone, and be as polite as Jane Fonda in 9 to 5. Then when people walked away, she would tell me their darkest secrets. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">She would tell me who was having an affair, though it was always obvious. This was before cell phones and email, so you had to dramatically follow people around, talking and whispering, at work, because you couldn't communicate with your affair AT HOME. She would tell me who was smart, who was stupid, who got their kid a job, though again it was obvious because they had the same last name, would go to lunch together and the daughter called him "Dad" all the time. But she told me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">She told me who had to be dropped off at work, or take a cab when their wife was out of town, because he had his license revoked. She told me who lived in a giant mansion, who drove a Porsche, despite the fact that this man walked around in a Porsche jacket and hat all the time. She told me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">She told me who needed to quit smoking or "she would die" even though I sat at the reception desk and waived to this nice lady 10 times a day when she smoked in the center of the building. You could still smoke inside, but most people kindly went to a 'designated area' </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">separated from offices, by glass doors. When the doors opened, you could smell the smoke.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But in front of people? She was all sweet sunshine and big-sisterly advice:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><b>"You need to get yourself some nice, figure-flattering dresses and high heels for work." </b></span>Barf. These were her workplace weapons: Secrets, low cut tops and high, high heels. Though, it was a man's world and she survived in it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #e06666;">"You need to work on typing faster." </span></b>She somehow got me an electronic typewriter with this awesome little screen, so you could SEE THE WORDS, about 2 sentences worth, and make corrections <b>before</b> the typewriter typed them! They let me keep it at the reception desk, saying I could help fill out forms and whatnot. Yes kids, I'm <span style="color: #990000;">learned to type on a typewriter years old.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tMS8u2r5f_s/VSvQytJ8R4I/AAAAAAAAEkM/-0zHzpJW0lQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tMS8u2r5f_s/VSvQytJ8R4I/AAAAAAAAEkM/-0zHzpJW0lQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe4.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ah, sweet nostalgic 80's technology. </span><span style="font-size: small;">This story takes place in the early 90's, but a lot of the technology and mindset was all 80's.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-weight: bold;">"You need to learn WordPerfect." </span>Actually I think this was the VP's idea. She said if I took a class the company would reimburse me for it. And they did.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IvkuTmBKBoA/VSvH6X58mzI/AAAAAAAAEjw/JF5_2IBeoWA/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IvkuTmBKBoA/VSvH6X58mzI/AAAAAAAAEjw/JF5_2IBeoWA/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" height="268" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You kept a cheat sheet of F commands at all times!</span> <i><span style="color: #999999;">from stsci.edu</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">WordPerfect was the MSWord of the 90's. Once the company figured out I could do other things, they gave me more tasks and eventually put a computer at the reception desk. This made one of the company's secretaries, Lisa, very angry. Lisa was the roommate of the marketing director who was having the affair with the President. Lisa hated me so very much it gave her Multiple Sclerosis. I believe she stressed herself out SO MUCH worrying about my every move, that she broke herself. She was on a 'leave of absence' for a long time. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This would not hold 1 of today's Facebook pictures<br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><i>from kupaterapist.com</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But me, with my 90's black-screen and green font computer, I started with simple things like FORMATTING floppy disks, because people had to actually physically do that before using them, and these kinds of tasks. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That company didn't promote me, but if you can wear dress clothes, type and do a few other tasks? You can be an assistant, an Executive Assistant, Personal Assistant and lots of other titles that pay more than the receptionist gig, and come with medical, dental and paid vacay. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Not a bad damn gig for a <b>17-yr old </b>whose entire discussion about college with her parents went like this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Dad, my counselor told me to have a talk with you about college."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My Dad: "You won't go."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Cue my old man leaving the room to really drive home the point that this discussion was OVER. Forever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I got this receptionist job, learned some things, and my next job was a secretarial/assistant job. In that job I learned some things, took classes at night, got better jobs and just kept doing that. My whole life. Because I had no other option. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">By the end of my time with this company, my parents announced their divorce. My father got stuck with my brother and my mother got stuck with me. Not sure if they rolled dice or what. My mother had actual career options, in another part of the state, but tried to hold on to a household up North so my brother and I had options. But those options included my working full time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The End.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Not really, but this is where I should end this post before starting the next strange chapter of my life story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm forever thankful that job came with insurance. That saved me from some major medical issues (I believed they called it 'pre-cancer' at the time) which would have gotten much worse if not caught in time. The surgeries were necessary, the bills eventually got paid somehow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The company was run by a terrible family of fictional-level villains. I'm talking Lifetime Television movie of the week evil, I should write a book about them, and they left everyone in a lurch when eventually everyone was let go. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have no idea how the story ends for the company, the owners, or my dad's friend for that matter. Since then I've tried not to look back.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> My brother says somehow Dwayne still lives. As does his 'girlfriend' or whatever, Dee. I know Dee is still alive and was still sketchy sanity-wise as of about a year ago, but let's nevermind how I know that. That's a loooong-ass story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Or mayhaps it's several <b>short stories</b>, presented to you once a week in these posts. Technically I think I <i>could</i> write about some of it now. Seeing as my old man is dead. I don't think Dwayne can read. And I also know that Dee has informed her mother never to speak to my family again. True story. So almost 30 years later Dee is still helping me in her own way without really knowing it. I'm assuming that means that she won't speak to us again, right? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm hesitant to open that Pandora's box. Though I know that one day I must. I don't know if everyone in my family wants that box opened.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">THE END.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">For now, okay?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Well, one more thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The VP did have the company write me a 'bonus' check for $1,500 to <b>immediately</b> get a new car when someone forced her to take a look at the car I drove.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">TO BE CONTINUED</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-9073153885645593442015-04-11T12:43:00.003-07:002015-04-11T12:43:32.374-07:00BoxBall & Christmas In April<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I may actually TToT 2 weeks in a row.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Holla.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Though sorry if I didn't get back to you last week, like Marsha Brady "something suddenly came up." Called Life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We have so much to be thankful for. Usually I'm taking the crappenings and just being thankful they're not worse and whatnot, but I don't even have to do that. Good things are in the air. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">First thing on my mind:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Game of Thrones is starting again!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6BiAo-i6Y5c/VShaBlZL9EI/AAAAAAAAEi4/KsYhPvXifFI/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6BiAo-i6Y5c/VShaBlZL9EI/AAAAAAAAEi4/KsYhPvXifFI/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" height="617" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cersei and Tyrion, in honor of National Siblings Day</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">If you don't know what that is, please let me go on and on about it for you. The books are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life, my family are happy to report, and the show is the next best thing. I wrote a post about it here, </span><a href="http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2013/09/why-i-suck-and-birthday-i-missed.html" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">CLICKforAWESOMEpost</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> click that and I will be glad to even tell you more if that's not enough. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I may be performing another 'emergency' wedding in the next couple of weeks! Reader's Digest Condensed story:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Friend of a friend has a diagnosis with immediate, urgent treatment necessary. She was engaged and now wants to be married before starting treatment. The church isn't able to help her move up her wedding for whatever reason. As long as they have their paperwork, I'm happy to help. And feed my cake addiction. Mostly help people grow their love.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yfZmcf51SEE/VSgMLuIE_lI/AAAAAAAAEiQ/pbbisPgjsME/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yfZmcf51SEE/VSgMLuIE_lI/AAAAAAAAEiQ/pbbisPgjsME/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Love, and the proper paperwork</span>. <i><span style="color: #999999;">from pamelagottfried.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And thankful to have such a wonderful friend, who is trying their best to arrange a wedding and reception in 2 weeks using whatever means necessary. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Thankful we don't live where tornadoes ever touch down. No superstitious people, that will not make one . </span><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qE3jgd319kM/VSgG2jrUmbI/AAAAAAAAEho/_-418Jvj-4A/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qE3jgd319kM/VSgG2jrUmbI/AAAAAAAAEho/_-418Jvj-4A/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We might be too close to Lake Michigan or something. They had some to the West, gods help them, but don't here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shout out to Daniel Tosh, who calls the Midwest a place for people who gave up on their dreams. </b>Now with the ungodly amount of snow in the northeast this year, and the drought in the west, it's <b>not looking so bad </b>I guess.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thankful we don't live where this is a water shortage. Not yet anyway *knocks wooden table </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">made in 1937 because we don't feel the need to get <b>new </b>everything all the time</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">* </span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4dhcrEc23do/VSgHMigHH_I/AAAAAAAAEhw/ZL6snMzSZtc/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4dhcrEc23do/VSgHMigHH_I/AAAAAAAAEhw/ZL6snMzSZtc/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm not thankful for any water shortage anywhere, but I hope to soon be thankful for desalinization of ocean water, which they are FINALLY going to do again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">California started at one point, but it's expensive, and they stopped sometime in the early 90's. Hopefully they can tweak the process and/or technology and make use of the planet's water.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Thankful people are starting to (hopefully) be more aware of </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">what we do to our planet. Instead of shutting our eyes, pretending we have little to no impact and throwing everything in the garbage as our country loves to do. Every day needs to be earth day for awhile.</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e83kvHAIMhM/VSgLj6_yGiI/AAAAAAAAEiI/iDQ8CZVKh14/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e83kvHAIMhM/VSgLj6_yGiI/AAAAAAAAEiI/iDQ8CZVKh14/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="374" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This weekend is our annual family Polish Christmas party. In April. We'll sing Christmas songs, exchange a few gifts, eat Polish food and laugh at each other. And <i>with </i>each other. Sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thankful my future BIL, the one I'm going to marry in September, is going to help us with our basement. It needs so much work, we're not sure where/how to start. We can't just hire a construction company and write a check, so it's nice to have an affordable option to move forward in some way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The last occupants, bless their hearts, nailed dark wooden paneling right to the studs. It doesn't feel like there is any kind of insulation or anything. In the winter it's like living over a giant freezer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We also may open it up and take WALLS down. Leaving any load-bearing studs/posts, I'm hoping. I'll be sure to include before and after photos, for insurance purposes if nothing else. NO I'm kidding. It'll be fine. It literally cannot be any worse, so what the heck.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> (Yes, insurance is thankfully paid up.) </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'll be beyond thankful to make that brighter, warmer, and more COMFY because it is, after all the basement of Comfytown. And it doesn't look like it.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I really want the Graceland TCB blue and yellow and mirrors basement, but I doubt Alex will go for that. He's gonna be like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"NO thank you vera'much" with the Elvis lip thing.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZaTWMjT26qs/VSgR7hBUw6I/AAAAAAAAEio/PzIB4folJF8/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZaTWMjT26qs/VSgR7hBUw6I/AAAAAAAAEio/PzIB4folJF8/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Actual Basement of Graceland. We visited on our 1st actual vacation (3-day weekend) together.<br />AWESOME, right? TCB = Takin Care of Business</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We DO have a jungle room, but it's not like Graceland's jungle room. It's just painted blue on top, green on bottom. I wanted to FILL THE CEILING with fake plants, but thankfully the hobby store guy said his cousins' in-laws did that and they're always overwhelmed with dust, super hard to clean. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vZfu1fsHb6c/VSha5vv9B7I/AAAAAAAAEjA/7-29amNgnHE/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vZfu1fsHb6c/VSha5vv9B7I/AAAAAAAAEjA/7-29amNgnHE/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="484" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As part of preparation, we're cleaning out my son's room. He's never in there, so we'll store stuff in there and move the girls eventually. I've come across lots of memories, making me thankfully nostalgic. I may do a post, depending on timing and whether it seems interesting to anyone other than me. Doubtful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is one thing. It's, well, it is what it is.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BV0Ewo6tesQ/VSh58iZS2LI/AAAAAAAAEjQ/6kWls6Dz7EA/s1600/1%2BSnirt%2Bpretty4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BV0Ewo6tesQ/VSh58iZS2LI/AAAAAAAAEjQ/6kWls6Dz7EA/s1600/1%2BSnirt%2Bpretty4.jpg" height="640" width="489" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />It was a box. Now it's a ball.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For what?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For BoxBall, of course.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Boxball is a game my son and I made up when he was younger. We used to play all the time in our tiny apartment with the cinder block walls. I'm so thankful to be reminded of those times. Tiny apartment, not a lot of money but just tons of fun and happy, thankful togetherness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">BoxBall is pretty much volleyball played with a box, while standing on your knees, and random rally-point scoring. The original box we used was a 30-pack of soda, or maybe beer? That square-ish type of case. It was perfect. Until it ripped. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LPYZM88IfcY/VSgN9aa4wfI/AAAAAAAAEic/WYgw3ggQPLI/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LPYZM88IfcY/VSgN9aa4wfI/AAAAAAAAEic/WYgw3ggQPLI/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2B1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #999999;">from sodayoda.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Those boxes are harder to find than you might think.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> Things usually come in the 24-can variety, but that</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> rectangle box won't work. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm here to tell you: You can't volley a rectangle. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Most square boxes? Are too heavy for this game.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then we tried to get fancy and use that box in the picture covered in duct tape. Don't do that. That made the box way too heavy and it kills your wrists. And lamps. And anything else it touches. That has to be 10. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This lovely list </span><i>(it's almost a list?)</i><span style="font-size: large;"> is part of the greatest online community </span></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">of all time</span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">that doesn't include porn, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #741b47;"><b>The Ten Things of Thankful</b></span>.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pwKAUfjm720/VSgKC4PCDkI/AAAAAAAAEh8/OFqQNyq04J0/s1600/2014%2BTToT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pwKAUfjm720/VSgKC4PCDkI/AAAAAAAAEh8/OFqQNyq04J0/s1600/2014%2BTToT.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-87795940369529408512015-04-03T15:08:00.003-07:002015-04-03T15:13:29.691-07:00Putting The Puppy Down For A Minute<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So much to be thankful for this week. Spring means many things, like <b><span style="color: #274e13;">asparagus</span></b> is in season!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xjLoCch32EY/VRqsW7-DrdI/AAAAAAAAEgE/_obLMlqR2sM/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xjLoCch32EY/VRqsW7-DrdI/AAAAAAAAEgE/_obLMlqR2sM/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="400" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #999999;">from toptenz.net</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">My goddaughter's birthday and Easter, which means Easter CANDY. Err, I mean family and whatnot.</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JGCDFvb8xx4/VRqsG6q8OyI/AAAAAAAAEf8/8sdC3nCSUCE/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JGCDFvb8xx4/VRqsG6q8OyI/AAAAAAAAEf8/8sdC3nCSUCE/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Protip: Those malted milk robin's eggs make awesome candy lip stick. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure everyone else is covering the weather, but it's worth a mention.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-67hjk_0X-Hg/VRqV3aAl5NI/AAAAAAAAEe4/VauzZeyz7_E/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2BTales%2Bpic%2Bfrom%2Bredicecreations%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-67hjk_0X-Hg/VRqV3aAl5NI/AAAAAAAAEe4/VauzZeyz7_E/s1600/1%2B2014%2BModern%2BFairy%2BTales%2Bpic%2Bfrom%2Bredicecreations%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/snowman-burning-day/" target="_blank">Snowman Burning Day.</a><br />Yes, that's a thing.<br />Click the link to read more.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">NO MORE FREAKING SNOW. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Probably.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You never do know for sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But for a few months, anyway.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's huge right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thank you, Universe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Last weekend I performed my first wedding and it was an awe-filled, really amazing but not like all the kids say EVERYTHING is amazing, I was amazed to be a part of it.<a href="http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/03/once-upon-time-there-was-beautiful.html" target="_blank"> I wrote more about it here </a>so click that if you're curious, but it went off pretty smoothly with no injuries or super embarrassing moments. Phew!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This past week was <b>Spring Break </b>for kids from school, and by some miracle of all the gods old and new I also had a week off of work! HUZZAH! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You might be thinking, 'what's the big deal? Don't you work from home?' and if so let me just try to demonstrate the difference between a normal week and a week off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Imagine carrying a 40-pound puppy with you everywhere you go. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mVVY63oAWm0/VRqdLyQEqQI/AAAAAAAAEfY/821q8O4pGEQ/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mVVY63oAWm0/VRqdLyQEqQI/AAAAAAAAEfY/821q8O4pGEQ/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #999999;">from barkpost.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Okay, maybe you don't have to <i>carry it</i> every minute but you do have to keep it with you every minute of every day because otherwise this puppy will chew stuff it's not supposed to, climb the walls, literally where there are shelves, take toys from your kids and/or randomly poke through things in your house that's it's not supposed to. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m4fNeWa9X_M/VRqfuJlnulI/AAAAAAAAEfk/NApRXG66MAQ/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m4fNeWa9X_M/VRqfuJlnulI/AAAAAAAAEfk/NApRXG66MAQ/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #999999;">jessilovescoffee.tumblr.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So you keep the puppy with you, and yeah, you're still in your house and all, but you have this puppy you didn't want and it's always jumping on you, licking you, demanding your attention, and just TRY to do normal household tasks, or </span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">gods forbid pay any attention to your children </b><i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ohnoyouDIDN'T</i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> with a needy puppy around.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dvccfDg2bcQ/VRqgm_K7B4I/AAAAAAAAEfs/1kk3dL4UZsk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dvccfDg2bcQ/VRqgm_K7B4I/AAAAAAAAEfs/1kk3dL4UZsk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #666666;">dogbeds-info.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And it's a PUPPY, a puppy whose mom allows it to eat a giant bowl of Sugar-Frosted Crack Cocaine-O's for breakfast every day, and apparently doesn't get enough attention at home, so it's really hyper, running, jumping all over the place, trying to lick your face and be <i>in your face</i> constantly. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK WHAT I DID <b>NOW</b> LOOK I <i>CHANGED</i> ONE THING </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">LOOK AT ME </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">LOOK YOU'RE NOT LOOKING ENOUGH! LOOOOOK! LOOK AT <b>MEEEEE</b>!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O68DcgVc4h0/VRqa4rD0w0I/AAAAAAAAEfM/64uqp2qz9Nk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O68DcgVc4h0/VRqa4rD0w0I/AAAAAAAAEfM/64uqp2qz9Nk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>ceasarsway.com</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You don't want to leave the room, make a phone call, go to the bathroom, or take your potty training 3 yr old to the bathroom, 517 times a day, because you don't know what you'll come back to find. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And then, for one blessed week someone comes along and takes the puppy <b>away</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And you can breathe again, and hear your own thoughts. Well, sometimes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You still have your own 2 little ones, but now you can hear THEM and see them and HUH, PLAY WITH THEM! You keep looking around for that annoying puppy out of habit, but then you remember IT'S GONE FOR THIS ONE BLESSED WEEK! </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qAs0jVppheU/VRqZ2hZiyAI/AAAAAAAAEfE/wrnYlnCIrBs/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qAs0jVppheU/VRqZ2hZiyAI/AAAAAAAAEfE/wrnYlnCIrBs/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a class="_ZR irc_hol" data-href="http://ineedthisforreactions.tumblr.com/post/50622365549" data-ved="0CAYQjB0" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fineedthisforreactions.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F50622365549&ei=qZkaVfKBNIqXNueigSA&bvm=bv.89381419,d.eXY&psig=AFQjCNErq7oR7B14idNWIWjVrDfvc_XbOw&ust=1427893016389702" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.2); cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;"><span style="color: #999999;"><i>ineedthisforreactions.tumblr.com</i></span></span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">You get the idea. So for this one week, I don't have to cook anything extra for one picky eater, or have additional activities for puppies who hate everything that isn't video games. Nor do I have to round up ALL the puppies into their various car seats, drive across town to the puppy's sister's school, unbuckle everyone, march them across the parking lot and into the school, only to have the after-school daycare lady tell me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"She's not even <b>here</b> today."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Her mom didn't tell me that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And then not get paid for that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I don't have to hear how terrible my food is, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">or how they "do like chili, just not <i>this</i> chili" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">or hear how horrible our selection of television channels is, or how boring my house is, or work around THREE turns at everything, just my two. Yaaaaaay!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We were finally able to do Lola's 5 yr checkup, during which she asked the doctor if she was going to check her "<b>Knee-flexes</b>" which she did. All good. She got FOUR shots, because I'm not interested in bringing back any olde timey diseases and killing innocent children just because some misinformed celebrity doesn't want to be bothered with vaccinating their children. </span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-03v1CIf-gmc/VR8NcKR69QI/AAAAAAAAEgw/e4TU7JRP-mY/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-03v1CIf-gmc/VR8NcKR69QI/AAAAAAAAEgw/e4TU7JRP-mY/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" height="227" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The process of getting 4 shots was momentarily devastating to my little sensitive drama queen, but she can finally walk again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">She always could, but she she really drew out a limp for awhile. She was able to RUN today, to out-run her sister to push the elevator button at the library, so it would seem she's fine. Plus bonus, she won't die a horrible painful death from measles. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Phew.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We went to the zoo, colored Easter eggs, had play dates with Lola's school chums and basically did WHATEVER WE WANTED. Which wasn't much, but we had a great week <b>together</b> and for that I'm eternally thankful. If you ever want to be truly thankful for each precious moment with your kids, watch someone else's for awhile and I guarantee, every moment alone with your own is a total, precious gift. I am thankful for the opportunity to work at home with my own, and experience what that is like. Daycare is expensive because it's worth it :) it's hard work if you want the kids happy and healthy. Which I do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">These rambling babbles were part of a great community of thankful, The Ten Things of Thankful. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RcmWYjuWXNs/VR8OSOch1KI/AAAAAAAAEg4/oS_iTnFQgYc/s1600/2014%2BTToT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RcmWYjuWXNs/VR8OSOch1KI/AAAAAAAAEg4/oS_iTnFQgYc/s1600/2014%2BTToT.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-48376493268432934882015-03-30T05:51:00.004-07:002015-03-30T15:35:45.139-07:00Once Upon A Happily Ever After: My 1st Wedding<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.437024671381168; margin-bottom: 5pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Once upon a time there was a beautiful Princess, who loved books and was raised by the kind and benevolent King and Queen to be not only crafty and clever, but generous and giving. She did many good deeds for the kingdom, volunteering her time and talents, where she met a silly minister and they quickly became friends. </span></span><br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UGcFPPSR15I/VRlSUaIgYpI/AAAAAAAAEeA/EL6IxCDls4I/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center; white-space: normal;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UGcFPPSR15I/VRlSUaIgYpI/AAAAAAAAEeA/EL6IxCDls4I/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Every summer the Princess and the Queen would meet with the silly minister to throw elaborately-crafted, themed parties and care for many tired, smelly walking people. </span></span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-poMjCm_m1I8/VRlT4oZrfZI/AAAAAAAAEec/9jOn25mZdZs/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-poMjCm_m1I8/VRlT4oZrfZI/AAAAAAAAEec/9jOn25mZdZs/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They had great fun. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And raised money and junk for charity also.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.43702467138117; white-space: pre-wrap;">One day the beautiful Princess met her Prince Charming and knew there something special, magical and musical happening between them. They faced many trials and tribulations, faced fire swamps, slayed dragons and fell in love all storybook-like.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3gcUbyGv9FU/VRlHYbWZ3zI/AAAAAAAAEdM/Q_4S7HJgLL0/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3gcUbyGv9FU/VRlHYbWZ3zI/AAAAAAAAEdM/Q_4S7HJgLL0/s1600/_______%2Bfrom%2B132Photobucket%2Bdotcom.gif" height="320" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">I worked this into the cerermony quietly right before the vows.</span> <span style="color: #cccccc;"><i>From 123Photobucket.com</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.43702467138117; white-space: pre-wrap;">They had a storybook wedding, in a beautiful castle.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aL0xa6zPA4s/VRlOCQLWmAI/AAAAAAAAEds/V_MRjNozrwg/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aL0xa6zPA4s/VRlOCQLWmAI/AAAAAAAAEds/V_MRjNozrwg/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" height="416" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">ACTUAL VENUE. The ceremony took place on that landing on the right.</span> <i><span style="color: #666666;">TheCopernicusCenter</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.43702467138117; white-space: pre-wrap;">They made beautiful music together - no, quite literally. The bride sang Irish tunes with the band, her Father and new Father-In-Law joined in and the groom played a celtic drum - to begin their fairytale lives. </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BhNSgiqoGbo/VRlJ-uYcWUI/AAAAAAAAEdg/ObYa9qqCtx0/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BhNSgiqoGbo/VRlJ-uYcWUI/AAAAAAAAEdg/ObYa9qqCtx0/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bmusic%2Bbrokers%2Bdot%2Bcom.jpg" height="320" width="271" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bodhran, Celtic drum.<br />
<i><span style="color: #cccccc;">from musicbrokers.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The silly minister stumbled through the ceremony with a shaky, mouse voice through tears and some people in attendance even said they could hear her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Meh, it's all legal and done now.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The End</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And that’s pretty much the story of my first wedding. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Er, that was the first wedding I OFFICIATED anyway. Everyone survived, no Mosby-esque YouTube video fame, not yet anyway, though I do need to work on my ‘outside voice’ a little more and sobbing like a cartoon cat caught in a mouse trap a little less. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">It was the MOST FUN wedding. The crafty bride did so much of everything herself, I'm amazed by some people. She had paper flowers made from pages of books, mixed in with REAL flowers for her bouquet and everyone's flowers. </span></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ni-sKRwLsnQ/VRlWKMJenII/AAAAAAAAEeo/GfBAD8TjAhE/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ni-sKRwLsnQ/VRlWKMJenII/AAAAAAAAEeo/GfBAD8TjAhE/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bbuzzfeed%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I didn't get a picture, but here's an example below from good ole Pinterest. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">They were gorgeous and very clever, like everything she does.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">The tables were all named for fictional places like Hogsmeade, Gotham and Emerald City and we sat in Casterly Rock. We made sure like Lannisters to always pay our debts, though we didn't have sex with our siblings or murder anyone, really anyone at all. </span></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BPS_CPb67Qw/VRlI4pE4kBI/AAAAAAAAEdY/JKMJ0cw82nA/s1600/20150328_175903%2B(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BPS_CPb67Qw/VRlI4pE4kBI/AAAAAAAAEdY/JKMJ0cw82nA/s1600/20150328_175903%2B(1).jpg" height="640" width="360" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yes, each and every table had these gorgeous candle pots and 3 beautiful hard-cover books like this one. At the rehearsal dinner, each table had a painted quill in an inkpot, which she crafted with mod podge and ink herself. She not only was a Girl Scout, she works for them. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Perfect day, beautiful couple, wonderful families. I was very glad to be a part of it. It's one of the best things I've ever done actually. Knowing I was part of joining two amazing people, and stepping a wee bit outside of my comfort zone. I used to have a pretty bad fear of any kind of public (or even mostly private) speaking. While volunteering for the 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer, ironically where I met the bride and her mother, they needed speakers for several training and Crew meetings. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FwcYSJ8-I0o/VRlTKaY_C8I/AAAAAAAAEeQ/bHw_P6VntsY/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FwcYSJ8-I0o/VRlTKaY_C8I/AAAAAAAAEeQ/bHw_P6VntsY/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="267" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Queen, bride's mother, no doubt the reason she's so amazing.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; white-space: pre-wrap;">I worked my way up as a team captain, then a coach of captains, then a captain mentor and spoke to different groups of people, to speaking to larger and larger groups, giving demonstrations, providing training and even speaking before the entire Crew of hundreds, and managed to kill that fear. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vLShc9euJZo/VRlSo5V8kyI/AAAAAAAAEeI/DqdGXI-9Mj8/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vLShc9euJZo/VRlSo5V8kyI/AAAAAAAAEeI/DqdGXI-9Mj8/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe3.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Look how THRILLED I appear to be. Yeah, enthusiasm took awhile.....still waiting.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are few things that feel better than facing a fear and kicking it's butt. That nervous, <b>am-I-excited-or-am-I-going-to-throw-up? feeling </b>makes you feel alive.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It's the closest we come in our time to slaying a dragon and I highly recommend it.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-e4TbcPuVXh8/VRlPGzyId_I/AAAAAAAAEd0/lzZ75EOCWPE/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-e4TbcPuVXh8/VRlPGzyId_I/AAAAAAAAEd0/lzZ75EOCWPE/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="475" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-size: large;">The flower girl carried a sign like this one.</span><span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"> </span><i style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><span style="color: #999999;">thewritersloop.me</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I didn't have my camera with me most of the day for pictures.</span></td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-47322150292970682732015-03-23T06:34:00.002-07:002015-03-23T07:42:19.091-07:00Can You Help Me Practice Crying?<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I had a great idea, ok AN idea for a blog post but of course I didn't write down and now apparently we all suffer with my stream of semi-consciousness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Nothing exciting to report, we spent all of last week outside because Monday was SEVENTY degrees. Today it's snowing ass <b><span style="color: #20124d;">because: Chicago</span></b>. Well, probably all of the Midwest and other places too, but I'm in #Chibera and that hashtag is large and in charge on Instagram today.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Frw9u6Vs4YI/VRAVQMneaVI/AAAAAAAAEcE/V3xUqyWTGCk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Frw9u6Vs4YI/VRAVQMneaVI/AAAAAAAAEcE/V3xUqyWTGCk/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It was semi-warm Saturday so we fired up the grill and threw every animal we could find on it. Apparently we left our napkin-holder and some other assorted items outside and now they're covered in snow. Hashtag Spring Problems.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have no idea what's going on in the world because I've been reading and reading and reading the words to the wedding ceremony I'm officiating. That word, "officiating," is that the right word? Makes it sound like I'll be ref'ing a Battle Royale, doesn't it? Well, I will be wearing black and white and sensible shoes, so I'm ready for whatever breaks out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The first 100 or so times I read the words they made me choke up, because being a woman is some Major Bullspit. I just keep reading them hoping they'll lose their ability to manipulate my woman parts. Like when you say a word so many times it loses all meaning,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Gum gum gum gum gum gum gum gum" what does that even mean anymore? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Just in case I did get some waterproof mascara. I have no idea how/if that works but the lady at Target said to "practice," along with a bunch of other words I couldn't hear because she had SO MUCH make-up on I couldn't stop looking at her spider-leg eyelashes. I'm lowkey jealous of people with eyelashes. I don't care if they're real or fake. I got nothin. If I don't wear mascara at least 37 people ask me if I'm sick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Soooo I'm not sure if she just means practice applying it, or applying it and then making myself cry. Which sounds like a freaking blast. I asked Alex, so being the Ever HELPING Husband, he took it upon himself to tell me increasingly sad and depressing things after that. Buuut we've been together for over 10 years so my ability to ignore his words is about at an Olympic-level. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Any suggestions for what would help me practice crying this week? Don't say the weather, I've lived here my whole damb life so I know it snows in March. Sometimes it snows in April. Everyone loses their minds, and we all go marching on. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">How terrifying is this? Also, NO EYELASHES.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I may have to throw down some Lifetime Television or something this week. Can you r</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">ecommend any movies that would help me practice crying?? Not The Crying Game, that didn't make me cry.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-5124711945833980462015-03-15T07:37:00.002-07:002015-03-16T06:45:33.921-07:00Random Acts of Cake-ful<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I started this post awhile ago, but these items are all relevant still so it totally counts </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>(SBoR 37.1ish or thereabouts, check it.)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Last weekend we did some new things and you just can't beat that New Experience ... experience. Or something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />We finally checked out the mysterious "Popcorn Store" in our town. We have seen it, and actually walked past it a hundred times without even seeing it, and wondered </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>(in Jerry Seinfeld voice)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"What is the DEAL with the tiny place?"</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dS4bEHfa51I/VQWI3DYjRWI/AAAAAAAAEaU/8wZw9u94UdI/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dS4bEHfa51I/VQWI3DYjRWI/AAAAAAAAEaU/8wZw9u94UdI/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Do you see it? The architect must be the same guy who designed the <b>Order of the Phoenix HeadQuarters</b>. I totally wanted Dumbledore to jump out when we walked in. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's like there was a nice-sized gangway </span><i>(as we call them in Chicago, you may say 'alley')</i><span style="font-size: large;"> and someone thought,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "I bet if we put a roof over this alley and a nice door, we could sell popcorn and candy!" ,, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Gods bless you, Genius Person. The thing that makes this place so great is that the rent, if any, has to be really low because these wonderful people sell a whole WALL OF CANDY for pennies a piece. They also make fresh, real popcorn for cheap. We bought a medium-sized bag for</span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> $1.29 </span></b><span style="font-size: large;">that my husband and I shared, and was plenty for both of us. You can barely buy a soft drink or a bottle of freaking WATER for that price, and the Earth is mostly MADE OF WATER.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ueRWa5e2C1Y/VQWI4lxfWqI/AAAAAAAAEac/rEpFPyzMocg/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ueRWa5e2C1Y/VQWI4lxfWqI/AAAAAAAAEac/rEpFPyzMocg/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is THE WHOLE STORE in this picture. That's it, that's all folks. It's just this hallway of candy, popcorn made in the back. If a pregnant lady wants popcorn? Everyone has to leave the store so she can get back where the popcorn is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We also got NEW PHONES. My phone was constantly locking up, even after uninstalling Facebook, and I had to pull the battery out almost every day. It was getting old. I'm thankful my new phone works well, brings me the internet even if </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">cough-cough</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> it's initial load time is slow, I'm still thankful for technology in my pocket. Yes, that <b>is</b> a tiny computer in my pocket, <i>and</i> I'm happy to see ya.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We went to the Pac-Man themed restaurant, which was fun even if it wasn't exactly the amazing 80's experience I was hoping for. <a href="http://www.comfytownchronicles.com/2015/03/throwback-weekend.html" target="_blank">I did a whole review</a>, so click that link to it if you're curious and leave it at that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure everyone who isn't abominable is thankful that <b><span style="color: #cc0000;">S</span><span style="color: orange;">p</span><span style="color: yellow;">r</span><span style="color: #6aa84f;">i</span><span style="color: blue;">n</span><span style="color: #a64d79;">g</span></b> seems to have Sprung. This Saturday was not only THEE Pi Day of the century, 3/14/15 but also the day they dye the Chicago River green. I posted this picture last year, I love it.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-idiIx_m2EWM/VQWSqn9KXxI/AAAAAAAAEbI/9bH8KFNvpOU/s1600/1%2B2014%2BONES%2BPINE%2BHUZY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-idiIx_m2EWM/VQWSqn9KXxI/AAAAAAAAEbI/9bH8KFNvpOU/s1600/1%2B2014%2BONES%2BPINE%2BHUZY.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #666666;">A & M Photography</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Even though Saturday was <b>Pi Day</b>, I made a <b>cake</b> for my BIL (that I'm marrying to my sister in September.) I'm more of a <span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Cake Person.</b></span> By that I mean I'm now more Cake than Person now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I think literally. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">My Blood Type? Butter.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2inJT5PPtrc/VQWTdiFR3GI/AAAAAAAAEbQ/9uB5A9zaegw/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2inJT5PPtrc/VQWTdiFR3GI/AAAAAAAAEbQ/9uB5A9zaegw/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb2.jpg" height="298" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">CAKE PERSON. Look at that guy's FACE!</span> <i><span style="color: #666666;">from VH1.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I found a great </span><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>cake recipe</b></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">, that is not only delicious which it IS, the writer explains the reasoning behind <i>each step</i> so that dum-dums like me don't think, 'eh, I don't really need to use a mixer for this, or separate egg whites, etc.' and now I DO those things in that way. For great results. It's a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, totally delicious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Warning: A pound and 1/2 of butter goes into doubling the recipe for a <b>2-layer cake</b>, which is the preferred method of cake delivery for an ideal <span style="color: #e06666;"><b>Frosting-to-Cake ratio</b></span>. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">This is something I know about</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">.</span><a href="http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/2014/08/24/moist-yellow-cupcakes-with-milk-chocolate-frosting/" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank"> Click >>HERE<< for the recipe</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Or just know that it's pinned to my Pinterest, not only in my "Cakes" board, but also my FAVORITE Recipes board, which has recipes I have made and highly endorse. I like the writer of this recipe's explanations.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've gotten a lot better at cake-ing thanks to:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>New Pans </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>Practice.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Meaning I make a cake like every week for one reason or another. Hey, Practice Caking is an important thing. And totally a <b>real thing</b>. I have to have a recipe down for my friend, Lizzi's trip to 'Murica this year! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Though my husband has called a "Cake Intervention" and called my baking<span style="color: #cc0000;"> <b>self-destructive</b></span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">- <i>literally the words that he used</i> - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">at this point, but I can now bake a mean cake. I mean a delicious cake. My cakes are not mean. If you don't count the damage they do to your arteries. And I don't. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4CmQElR3iOM/VQbdoz-yk4I/AAAAAAAAEbw/k__pVwOANjs/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4CmQElR3iOM/VQbdoz-yk4I/AAAAAAAAEbw/k__pVwOANjs/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="612" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">St. Patty's dessert tray. Rainbow cupcakes & booze.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So to balance all this cake, I'm thankful for crispy fried onions. I'm going somewhere with this, they make eating salads less of a punishment. Let's face it, salads are sadness in a bowl. These add some actual taste.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z2e6GMV4YvU/VQWQrrVcouI/AAAAAAAAEas/sWnYVPPnEVI/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z2e6GMV4YvU/VQWQrrVcouI/AAAAAAAAEas/sWnYVPPnEVI/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="320" width="245" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Delish. <i><span style="color: #999999;">from freshgourmet.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Also thankful for Lite beer, and you can put it down all you want but it still tastes like beer for under 100 calories and goes well with salad. </span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d7HfPixdnks/VQWR7lXScSI/AAAAAAAAEa8/DRDHU63LrfQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d7HfPixdnks/VQWR7lXScSI/AAAAAAAAEa8/DRDHU63LrfQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb2.jpg" height="320" width="311" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Hey, I'm balancing <span style="color: #073763;"><b>Midwest Winter </b></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(and cake)</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> <span style="color: #073763;"><b>Weight Gain </b></span>so give me a break, beer snobs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm also thankful for Wii Fit because I can <strike>pretend </strike>exercise without leaving my house, which other than walking is the only way I'll ever do it. </span><br />
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This list of buttery cakefuls and rambly thankfuls is a post that is part of an awesome community, the <b>Ten Things of Thankful</b>! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-74008614242214338592015-03-09T07:09:00.000-07:002015-03-10T09:16:54.393-07:00Throwback Weekend<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This weekend we had a baby-sitter 2 nights in a row. It was one of those things that happens that you think couldn't possibly be real. Something is going to happen that will change it, so you don't get too excited about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But it happened.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And just like when I saw Sir Paul McCartney in concert, and our own Chicago White Sox in the WORLD SERIES, it still feels a little surreal. Like a Total Recall purchased and implanted memory. Worth every penny.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It was a great reminder of that time pre-kids when we did everything WE wanted, which was: NOT MUCH. We drank too much, slept in, sat around watching TV and actually <b>hearing it</b>. So yeah, nothing productive. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We didn't cook anything, or clean anything, our house looked like a crack den on Sunday. Some people just shouldn't be left to their own devices. Shout out to our children for coming along and forcing us to be real grown ups. Some of the time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We did <i>some</i> things. We went to a Casino Night charity event for my friends on Friday night. We weren't sure how the ticket thing/raffle prizes worked, so we gave our few tickets away and left at Old O'Clock. I drank more than is age appropriate, judging from my pounding head Saturday morning, but it was fun.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />Saturday was pretty boring errand-running, trying to find clothing worthy of a 'high priestess.' That's what I accidentally said when I told the lady at Chico's I didn't know what to wear to officiate a wedding. In my defense, she was a classy-looking ladytype who works AT A CLOTHING STORE, and she didn't know either. But she agreed I should totally call myself a High Priestess whenever possible. Even though it couldn't be more inaccurate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We spent a lot of time getting new phones, especially for our approach. I always say, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Just give me THEE cheapest phone that takes pictures and brings me the internet." I'm a thing-dropper, why tempt fate?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My husband Alex does his online research ahead of time, and pretty much just goes with whatever smart phone has that thing where when you take pictures, you hold down the camera button and it automagically </span><i>(remember that?)</i><span style="font-size: large;"> takes 10,000 pictures so you can pick the one your kids are least creepy-looking in. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then, when we were having all of our digital junk transferred to our new phones, AFTER we've paid, it turns out Alex did didn't even have any IDEA how much his phone <i>costs</i>. He literally said, "I don't know." WHAT?! That's the most American thing he's ever done ever. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">Quick disclaimer: They used to do free phones with contracts, so this was the first time we had to pay for phones. Now they break it down into monthly payments on your bill. Our service price went way down, so our bill was about the same including the new phones. If we want to upgrade before they're paid off, they will pay them off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We also heard a pretty hilarious Wacky Dad in the store, Dad-ing it up to his preteen daughter. We missed the beginning of the convo, but he said something like,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"It doesn't matter. By the time you have kids I'll be dead."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She dramatically smacked him and "DDAAAAADDD!"'ed him, and he said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Unless you have kids pretty soon. You should probably hook up now."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That was a first for me. I wanted to stroll by and say,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Hey, I heard your looking to 'hook your daughter up' I have a teenage son" and see how much I could mortify someone else's kid, but they left before I could do it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yes, it's probably for the best.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Speaking of throw-back, Saturday night we went to what was promoted as a Pac-Man themed restaurant. <span style="color: #cc0000;">::80's Nerd Boner::</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y6Qg9XCB324/VP2ssqMNBqI/AAAAAAAAEZE/HLxu3Ims_o0/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y6Qg9XCB324/VP2ssqMNBqI/AAAAAAAAEZE/HLxu3Ims_o0/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will admit, I was disproportionately excited about this. A couple of the pictures promised Big Things, 80's style.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eEad_iQkt5w/VP2fwEBPJEI/AAAAAAAAEXc/jYXq9oLeTt0/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eEad_iQkt5w/VP2fwEBPJEI/AAAAAAAAEXc/jYXq9oLeTt0/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bjumping%2Bpolar%2Bbear%2Bdotwordpress%2Bdotcom.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RIGHT?! <i><span style="color: #999999;">from DailyHerald.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This wall-sized Pac-Man game was there, but it beats me how you ever get to play it. No one ever explained the process. Or any process. Or anything. It was a fun night of watching other people play video games.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm not sure who designed this restaurant, but I'm almost positive they weren't alive in the 80's. You can tell the difference between someone who was there, who gets it, and pop culture kids who want to create a vibe but weren't there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I read about this place and was immediately excited, hoping for nostalgia. A little bit of that, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"We had to <b>leave the house</b> to play video games, Son" 80's magic. Well, being at a place in a mall where they have arcade games reminded me exactly why my generation made sure we didn't HAVE to leave our houses for this crap anymore. Because: PEOPLE. I hate when People.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This place was such a great idea. They promised table-top games and showed people eating meals on those table-top games. Maybe it was just us, but that gave us the impression we would at some time be seated at a table like that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">WRONG.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm not sure how to get the experience they promise in articles, but we couldn't figure it out. We had some logistical problems, that might have been cleared up by people who work there, but weren't. No one ever told us there was a Coat Check, we had to ask. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We weren't sure about how the game cards worked, they said by time. We later figured out that didn't mean GAME TIME, that meant actual time. Except not quite the actual time of Earth, where I have lived all of my life, because we swiped one at one point and the screen told us "2 minutes and 30 seconds left of Play." Then we walked about 40 feet to the next game, swiped the card and the screen said "No Play Time Left." Maybe they installed Time Jumps and Black Holes, but again, none of that was explained.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />They claimed the cards are done by time so that you can "socialize" but when the clock is running down faster than actual time, you can't stop and chat, Sister. You need to be constantly sprinting in a circle around the games to find an open one. And do you think you will find TWO or more NEXT TO EACH OTHER that are open? This is not a "Fantasy Island" themed restaurant. Unfortunately.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Most of your precious <b>Game Time</b> is spent trying to find/play an actual game that was open, and not being played by a teenager or young adult. Who didn't look like they ate at the restaurant. Speaking of t</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">he restaurant, described as a word I despise, "upscale" was totally separate from the games, and all things Pac-Man. And 80's. And fun. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">In my selfish mind, I couldn't help but think, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #351c75;">'Wait, didn't I just <b>way overpay</b> for a small plate of THREE scallops so that I didn't have to fight teens for an open game? Because I really thought I just paid $12 for a FROM SCRATCH froo-froo drink called "The Pinky" so that I could have that kind of experience.'</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And, as I stated in my novella of a Yelp review, if I actually had <i>had</i> that type of experience, I wouldn't have minded paying that. But the food wasn't the level of <b><span style="color: #660000;">Justified A Mostly Empty Plate</span></b>, as some of the upscaliest of the upscale. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The food did not earn it's Car Payment price. My dinner was $28 for 3 medium sized scallops and literally a spoonful of some kind of corn and vanilla puree. That's right, vanilla. This restaurant was full-on mocking the Upscale Restaurant formula. It would have ONE crazy ingredient that didn't belong with the others, like:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Porkchops, potatoes, swiss chard"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Every menu item read like that,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Regular food item, food, eeew"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Yum, yum, WTF"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The swiss chard was rolled into a seaweed wrap, that tasted like a Horcrux. The <i>worst</i> Horcrux. That one in the cave where Dumbledore tells Harry he <i>has</i> to keep feeding him the poison water, and he's begging Harry to stop and it's killing us all. You and I would have totally stopped, but this is why Harry is the Chosen One. He doesn't let the absolute horror on Alb's face stop him. He keeps scooping and feeding him, and we can't even LOOK, but he gets it done. I imagine that poison water tasted like the swiss chard, like Impending Death. It's ironic how the more healthy the food is, the more it makes you not want to live any longer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Speaking of Impending Death, the service wasn't great. The waiter was friendly enough, he went on and on about some fancy water that is filtered by magic fairies 3 times in the back, and you could get <span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b>SPARKLING</b></span> water from the birthing tubs of baby unicorns, but then we never got this fancy water until our meal was almost over. We were totally over it by then. We needed something strong to get that Horcrux taste out of our mouths, not water. That mush was was SO BAD that on a dare we all had to taste it. This is a job water can't handle. Accio alcohol.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I would rather see some corny, campy 80's or game-themed food. Like this cake I made for my husband's birthday.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H9R5ki69Wz8/VP8Y6kgl_DI/AAAAAAAAEZ8/Dzax15hL6Ow/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H9R5ki69Wz8/VP8Y6kgl_DI/AAAAAAAAEZ8/Dzax15hL6Ow/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="312" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And then we were given game cards that didn't work, and we had to hunt down and wait forever for cards that actually worked, and then we <b><i>still</i></b> had to wait in line like commoners behind teenagers to play their version of an 80's video game. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Since it's dubbed a "PacMan themed restaurant" I assumed there would be plenty of those games to play. Wrong again. I did not see <i><b>ONE</b></i> Ms. PacMan game. There was a Baby PacMan game, I didn't even remember that was a thing. Where is the Missus? In back cooking like it's 1947??? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There was one regular PacMan game, and a few "Level 256" games that at times we waited in line to play. One went right to Level 256, the highest level of PacMan, but it wasn't the split-screen craziness we heard about. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0VmfUEIy-ZQ/VP2sz8co1mI/AAAAAAAAEZM/434HfG6OzOQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0VmfUEIy-ZQ/VP2sz8co1mI/AAAAAAAAEZM/434HfG6OzOQ/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="498" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It was just impossible to play and when you ate the BIG PILL, the ghosts didn't turn blue.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Homer Simpson voice: "BOOORING!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The place seemed to be for 80's kids all growed, but that is exactly who we are and it wasn't for us. I have no idea what could fix this. I can't even grasp the logistics of my preschooler's Pajama Day, so don't ask me how to run an Upscale Restaurant-slash-Arcade. That doesn't even sound like a thing to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It may have been better if we could have sat at the tabletop games tables at any point. Remember those machines? In Pizza Hut and whatnot? 2 people sat at a table and played 2-player Ms. Pac-Man and Frogger and it was fun. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have pictures, but effing Blogger is not letting me upload them. There are pictures on my Instagram if you're curious. Button in the upper-right of this screen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, they had those tables. Right near the book shelf full of 80's board games, and some nerds had the audacity to play Rummikube on the table. ON TOP OF A VIDEO GAME. Alex was beside himself, "They're using TWO games!" </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-afZiOf51htI/VP2vLgohUWI/AAAAAAAAEZk/DhHuLzwRujg/s1600/IMG_20150307_184941%2B(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: blue;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-afZiOf51htI/VP2vLgohUWI/AAAAAAAAEZk/DhHuLzwRujg/s1600/IMG_20150307_184941%2B(1).jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Blurry. I didn't want the people to freak out about having <br />their picture taken while being HUGE wasteful nerds.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">It did seem like a waste. I don't know if it was the same exact people sitting at those tables all night, but I never saw anyone get up from those at any point. They felt like a secret we weren't in on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We did get to play a few games, Space Invaders and Q-Bert, one of my favorites. I didn't see Frogger, Donkey Kong or Burgertime. *sad face*</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tapper. Can't read it, sorry.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And some game I did not remember called Tapper, which seems to be an 8-bit Budweiser commercial. See the bow tie logo at the top? It's through the whole game.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In the game you're a bartender of FOUR bars simultaneously. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You pour the drinks and sling the mugs Sam Malone-style at the drunks, then you have to collect the empties before they crash to the ground. Good times.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They also had overly fancy disco-ball bowling alleys, which seemed more 70's to me, but what do I know? </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Does this look 80's to anyone??</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was alive in the 80's and there weren't disco balls at bowling alleys. Not any that I ever went to. They did have them at roller skating rinks. It seems like a reach. Gratuitous Disco Ball-handling. To the Penalty Box!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They also had that plastic dome hockey game with the swivel dudes. Remember those? Yes, sorry for the technical jargon on the games. I don't know what you call that crap.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">THIS thing.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The highlight of the evening for me was when I got 5th high score on Q-Bert and got to enter 3 characters for my name. Even though I have a 3-letter name, I entered "ASS" because <b>80's forever!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">This place is somewhere between,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"Totally tubular!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"Barf me out, gag me with a spoon."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We had a pretty good time, but I doubt we'll return. If we do, it definitely won't be on a Saturday night. Based on the price vs. quality of our meal, we'll probably just skip the restaurant part all together and stalk out those table-top games. Have appetizers and torture people by playing Go Fish on top of them or something. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What do you think about a "Pac-Man themed restaurant?" Any ideas for how to make it a better experience?</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221717568608371907.post-69057937841217999152015-03-02T06:45:00.004-08:002015-03-03T08:05:01.816-08:00Vulcans Are Not Logical. RIP Leonard Nimoy<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You've heard by now that Leonard Nimoy joined the Final Frontier. Well, I guess technically from the show, <b><span style="color: #20124d;">space</span></b> is the final frontier. He didn't go there, so he's gone to the FINAL Final Frontier. He died, okay. Geez, I hope I never have to write a funeral in my minster duties. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, I was/am a Star Trek geek and I know everybody loves Spock, but I connected with his character in an extra nerdy way. Vulcans are purely logical people. I first thought, as everyone did, they didn't <i>have</i> any emotions. That sounded really awesome to me. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Later I learned that Vulcan history involves a lot of violence, and they consciously chose to <b>suppress their very intense emotions. </b>After generations of training, they learned to replace their emotions with pure logic. Amazing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I envied them as Captain Picard later envied Data in a TNG movie, when he told the Captain he was going to deactivate his emotion chip.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>from scifi.stackerexchange.com</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">We learn more about Spock as the show goes on, h</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">is official record listed his full name as: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Spock, Vulcan name unpronounceable." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">I learned that Mr. Spock has a more emotional struggle than most Vulcans, his mother was human. The show wasn't afraid to tackle difficult cultural issues of the time. Throughout the course of the show he does show emotion, and a lot of humor.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"> Nerd humor, but that was the target market.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #666666;">from boards.ie</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">That was even more fascinating to me. I couldn't help but wonder if human people could do that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">Little did I know I already <i>was</i> doing that. Having 2 brothers made me tougher than I may have been. Anyone with siblings quickly learns to hide their fear, and to a large part their happiness. If someone knows what makes you happy and sad, it makes all that much easier to torture you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">That's not as devious as it sounds, Only Children of the world. <b>Sibling torture prepares you for the bullies of the real world, who are often more cruel and usually much more stealthy with their intentions.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">Speaking of family drama, even Mr. Spock, the allegedly all-logic Vulcan, had a strained relationship with his father. We're forced to assume this comes from his human half. He also consulted Bones, the ship's doctor, quite often to check if his behavior was appropriate throughout the show. He continues to struggle and grow in terms of emotions throughout the show and the movies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you haven't watched the show, you should look into either The Original Series (TOS) if you are a fan of fun, campy SciFi, or The Next Generation (TNG) if you're more a fan of pure Science-based Fantasy/Fiction. TNG is less campy, much better geek writing. Unlike many, I liked them both for their various reasons. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'll always love both Captain Kirk <i>and</i> Captain Picard, and I still do. I tell my husband I would still hit it, for both captains, yes even now. I have a special place in my shriveled grinch heart for Spock. I think a lot of women, and certainly some men, can really relate to and respect the concept of suppressing emotions, and replacing with logic.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know I'm pontificating a fictional character, I know that. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">To some Fiction is more important than a story being told. For a lot of people Fiction of all kind is an escape. I feel like you either get that or you don't. If you do, I'm sorry you felt you had/have something to escape but in terms of your choice, it could be a lot worse. Take it from me. There is no return from some kinds of escapes. </span></span><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yUed-cb3ERg/VPSDXwIzM2I/AAAAAAAAEW8/2lkCl0d_hyo/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yUed-cb3ERg/VPSDXwIzM2I/AAAAAAAAEW8/2lkCl0d_hyo/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I watched TOS, I was young and it was a fun escape. When I watched TNG, I felt I really needed a mental escape from my life. It wasn't as easy for me as a non-Vulcan to suppress my emotions. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Prescription (and some not) drugs helped with that, and created a myriad of other problems, too many to get into during this post.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks to all of those distractions, and the beginning of a very long journey of counseling, I was able to successfully suppress all emotions so well that I stayed in a horribly oppressive marriage for years after I should have. </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Conservatives and religious zealots would consider this a </span><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>victory</b></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">, and as always they can line up to SUCK IT. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Considering the very dark place it brought me to, including violent thoughts, it could have been very disastrous. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's also taken me decades to start realizing, feeling and and even acknowledging my actual feelings, let along trying to deal with them. This is what the teen years are supposed to be for. I'm beyond emotionally immature. The dick jokes are Just the Tip. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My point is, it was a really bad situation. Humans aren't Vulcans, because we're real. We exist. Beings that exist cannot possibly suppress every human emotion. Not without dangerous results. Eventually your feelings are going to surface, in a variety of ways. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe you'll be lucky and all that will happen is you have a harmless little nervous breakdown. These often come at inconvenient times, and without much warning. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe you'll develop intensely bad habits while using all of your energy to hide your misery. You could become addicted to an unhealthy substance, or even too much of a healthy one. Once you're an addict, to whatever it is, do you think anyone is going to appreciate that this was a result of wanting to "stick it out" through a tough situation? No, they won't.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you have a breakdown and anyone or anything winds up getting damaged, do you think it will be in your advantage to mention the struggle you were going through at the time? It won't.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Once the situation has finally broken your spirit, and it will, all anyone will remember is the bad thing that was the result. The lives you hurt. The money spent to fix the situation. The damage you've done. </span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />No one will care that you tried so hard for so long to get along. Not one person will appreciate the enormous effort it takes to put on a fake happy face and trudge through misery day after day. Believe me. Not your family, not your children, certainly not your Significant Other. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The longer you pretend to be happy when you're not, the more betrayed everyone will feel in the end. </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Allow yourself to feel your feelings, you're human. You're supposed to have feelings.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Find a safe person, a safe place to explore those feelings. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Figure out what you <b>want</b>, often the most difficult line of thinking a human can do, and then take small steps to get yourself to that point. No matter how long of a process that is, the journey will help you. Each step will be enough to get you through to the next. A community of support will help, but you have to be true to yourself in the end. Nothing good comes of pretending.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can't offer advice on how to be happy, that's up to every individual. I can tell you how to deal with utter misery. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Don't fight it. Don't suppress it. Don't try to replace it with logic. We're not Vulcans. Being Vulcan is not logical. Not for humans. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">_____________________</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Quick mini-tribute to the real person, Leonard Nimoy:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I learned there was so much more to Nimoy than Mr. Spock. </span><i>(I keep wanting to call him Dr. Spock, totally different guy.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I heard about him directing, but did you know he wrote poetry and was a pretty amazing photographer? Though my novice eyes are easily impressed, his photographs seemed to have deep meaning. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The poetry? Don't ask me, and I really mean that. Do not ever ask me to read and decipher poetry, it makes me cranky. </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I never get the same meaning as other people when I read poetry, at times it's downright embarrassing so I've learned to avoid it. I have a fear of poetry, and developed an Intolerance. It's a medical condition okay Karen, so no, </span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I do </span><span style="color: #660000; font-size: x-large;">not</span><span style="font-size: large;"> want to read your daughter's poem for school</span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">, I'm sure it's beautiful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">His photos however, are very artistic. There is nothing to puzzle and decipher, you look, you're touched. Or not. Art is subjective, and usually I hate most of it.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zK2XYbfn56I/VPHd5j-ecVI/AAAAAAAAEVM/kkX_CRFQmZo/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zK2XYbfn56I/VPHd5j-ecVI/AAAAAAAAEVM/kkX_CRFQmZo/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bimdb.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Self portrail <i><span style="color: #666666;">from cbsnews.com</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Most art doesn't make me feel anything but bored. And frustrated because once again I am forced to realize I don't respond to things the same way most other people do. After enough years of people being shocked, it gets a little old. You get tired of arguing and just pretend to like things. Painful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And, okay if the art is really good, I also feel a dollop of jealousy </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>(I'm only human)</i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> that I don't seem to have the same resources, or use of my lame limbs as these other-wordly super humans that are just here to make us feel inferior. These photos don't make me feel that way.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CjSoeMqqzNY/VPR-E4wPyuI/AAAAAAAAEWs/9k287e3E5I4/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CjSoeMqqzNY/VPR-E4wPyuI/AAAAAAAAEWs/9k287e3E5I4/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The photos I've seen of Nimoy's are mostly of people. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you're thinking "Big Whoop" I'm with you and we should totally *fistbump* and go make fun of an art show sometime. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Some of his photos did make me stop and look for a minute. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Here is a link to his photos, good stuff IMHO:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.rmichelson.com/Artist_Pages/Nimoy/pages/Leonard-Nimoy-Gallery.html">http://www.rmichelson.com/Artist_Pages/Nimoy/pages/Leonard-Nimoy-Gallery.html</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am always fascinated with pictures of him smiling.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IrfCsrI4eqQ/VPR2nXW_16I/AAAAAAAAEWQ/3Q0y_BA8X78/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IrfCsrI4eqQ/VPR2nXW_16I/AAAAAAAAEWQ/3Q0y_BA8X78/s1600/1%2B2014%2Bfrom%2Bat%2BHave%2BMoxie%2BOn%2BMe.jpg" height="335" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do your eyes go straight to the ears? Just me? <i style="color: #666666;">from fanpop.com</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One amazing project that moved me is The Full Body Project. This was a book that he did with real-life women. That is to say, real life real sized curvey women. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'll put a link here, the pictures are totally Not Suitable For Work. They're also extremely artistic, which yes means some are NEKKED. They are also very empowering photographs for women.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: freight-text-pro, Georgia, serif; font-size: 21px; line-height: 31.5px;"><span style="color: #660000;">According to the author, the aim of the book was to showcase the average American a woman, someone who “weighs 25 percent more than the models selling the clothes,” and to go against Hollywood’s “fantasy” ideal of what females should look like. The collection received rave reviews, with critics applauding Nimoy’s respectful approach to the photographs and his sincere attempt in demanding change within the industry.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.bustle.com/articles/67048-leonard-nimoys-best-feminist-moments-from-his-full-body-project-to-his-fight-for-equal-rights">http://www.bustle.com/articles/67048-leonard-nimoys-best-feminist-moments-from-his-full-body-project-to-his-fight-for-equal-rights</a></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Live long and prosper, he certainly did.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.com23