2014-09-15

Now I Lay Me Down: Let's Talk About Bed

I wish I could pretend this was a perverted post about bed, but NOPE. Not really. Ain't nobody got time (energy) for that.
This weekend we decided to take down a side of the baby's (who is NOT a baby anymore) bed. So it's a toddler bed now and yes, it is crazy to make such a crazed wild creature free-range, but she gets out of her crib in seconds anyway. She crawls back in during the day, except when she's tired. Then she lays on her sister's bed, and you can guess how well that goes over.
from therivalry.com
What I'm hoping is that she'll go back and lay down on her bed now that's easier to get to it. I know, you may say I'm a dreamer.

It got me thinking about beds in general. Mostly because I'm cheap and their little toddler beds won't fit them much longer. Also bed is where I long to be, more than anywhere else right now.

We'll probably do those bunk beds w/desks underneath when they're ready for that. Then they can still be shoved share the same room, so we can have a media room. Priorities, people. 
Saw this on Pinterest. I may have to try.
When I was younger I gave zero thoughts to bed or bedding. I could sleep anywhere: Couches, in my Camaro more times than I care to brag about, on the floor for awhile when my teen bed was so bad I could feel the pits in it sinking parts of my body down, you get the idea. 
Never having slept in the mouth of a T-Rex is my greatest failure.
As an adult I even took a hand-me-down bed (yes, that IS a thing. Well, it used to be a thing) that my friend got as a hand-me-down from I don't even know where. 

This was before I knew about bed bugs, or gave a crap because: Broke. 

I had that bed up until just 6 years ago when we moved into the current Comfytown. We decided to give my husband's old bed (from the Civil War era) to my teenager, to complete the Circle of Crappy Beds. 
I don't give much advice, but mark my words on this one:
It's really important to make sure your teenager is as uncomfortable in your home as possible. 

Why else would they motivated to leave?
from selenqqa.blogi.pl

I'm assuming everyone gets to an age, as they get more gray up top and longer in the boob, where you come to learn some truths about yourself:
You can longer buy shoes at Payless.
You can't get drunk on a Tuesday. As much.
You need a good bed.
from the metapicture.com

We decided to bite the bullet and buy ourselves a nice, big, comfy bed. We went with the largest possible land-surface model we saw at the stores around us: A California King. When you hear this, don't think of the deadly cannibalistic snakes, think of the largest possible bed mattress you can buy without special order. Both of my little girls can be in bed with us and we're all still comfortable. 

No, they're never allowed in our bed, except for weekend mornings when we don't want to get up yet. 

We're not small people, and my husband snores like a power tool lodged inside the body of a large woodland animal. We shopped around, tried out all kinds of models, almost falling asleep in a couple of stores. The reps didn't care, they said it happens. 

One mistake we did make was buying a Pillow Top mattress. I don't recommend this. 

It's tempting in the store, the models are amazingly comfy, but over time it's a bed of lumps. It's like a bed of balled-up socks on top of lumps. 

The sales rep did warn us that after awhile they can become misshapen, but they made it sound like it was no big deal to call them and have them fluff it up, or whatever they do. We can't even remember the name of the place where we got it, much less pull the trigger on an actual phone call. 

What happens is a bunch of material piles up around the bed, especially on the side, my side specifically. During my tossing and turning in an attempt to make my back comfortable, I feel like I'm up against a hill, or a mountain, or a long body pillow or dead body or something. At least I could put my arm around a body. Pillow I mean. But we spent all this money on it and now we're stuck with it for awhile.
I have no words. For once. from the chive.com

How long do you think is the lifetime of a bed/mattress? 

They say you know when you wake up sore and/or feeling not rested. I've had a bad back for years and I have kids, so I don't remember a time when I ever woke up feeling rested. 

Sleeping sites say 7 years, but then again they also say to get new shoes every 6 months and we also never do that. Wait, maybe that's why feet hurt all the time? Who knows, the world is a mystery isn't it?

Do you have a bed or mattress you really like? Why or why not?

My sister still has a real-life WATER BED. No, not her in painted 80's van, in her actual bedroom. They love it. 

Funny water bed story from my youth.
One evening my brother and I were lying in our parents' waterbed for whatever reason. Let's not think about my childhood too much, I'm just recovering. Anyway, my mom came and laid down, and I was on the opposite end of the bed. As soon as she laid down, I went FLYING up in the air and hit the desk next to the bed.
I thought my brother would NEVER STOP LAUGHING. I had to laugh too, because it was pretty damn funny. 

This was before AFVs so we never tried to re-create it and film it. Unforch.

Anytime I bring it up, he's guaranteed to crack up. 

29 comments:

  1. Well, my bed is new since I just moved into my own place in June, so no issues there. The most important thing about any bed, though, is that there must be someplace to tie the restraints to. Hahahahaha, just kiddin'!

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    1. Ha. Good for you! Gotta keep things NEW in there. And the mattress, too apparently.

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  2. My wife is big on sleep, so she bought one of those fancy sleep number beds (you know, glorified air mattress) and sadly it was worth every penny. I've never slept better. Then again, I slept on a couch the six years I lived on my own, so... I'm not really a reliable source on bed quality.

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    1. I was wondering how that thing is. I tried it at a mattress store, but I don't know what my sleep preference is, so I kept changing the number and rolling around, and it's hard to get sleepy in a brightly-lit mattress store, so none felt any better to me. I got all excited because they had one at a hotel, but it wasn't hooked up yet so you couldn't change the number. THAT is my luck.

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  3. damn it, my reply vanished. I hate when that happens. Here I go again. I said something about our bed is 17 years old, it is a Sterns & Foster and we paid a crap load of mula for it but since it has lasted so long it has turned out to be a good deal. It is time for a new bed though. Xing my fingers this comment survives the 'publish' button.

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    1. OH I hate when that happens! That happens on my phone, usually when I've typed a SUPER LONG message. Must be the universe's way of telling ME to edit down my comments :) Sorry that happened to you, I always want to read what you have to say, Pattie.
      SEVENTEEN YEARS is a long time for a bed! I will have to look into these. I would love to not have to worry about it again for that long. Glad your comment came through this time!

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  4. I stupidly thought that the second from last picture, had kebabs for the posts. On closer inspection...laughed so hard, I leaked a little.

    I've had my current bed, a big sturdy oak, for about 15 years. Mattresses are a different matter. The latest one is so flat, I may as well sleep on the floor. My sister recently bought one of those memory foam mattresses that mold to your body shape. When she put my 9 month old nephew onto it, he sunk right through and we couldn't find him for at least half an hour...okay, slight exaggeration. But the poor thing became so encased, I think he thought that he had gone back into the womb.

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    1. Hahaha I'm cracking up because I thought it was some kind of dried meat around the bed, which my husband would love. Giant dongs? Probably not as much. I'm also picturing a search party diving into a bed looking for the baby w full scuba gear!

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  5. I don't like the sound of your pillow top mattress! Oh no, not at all! My childhood bed got used so long it turned into a hammock. That was bad for the back. My current bed is a king size one, because Husby and I are both not small people, and he has a tendency for night-time gymnastics (like, instead of turning over like a normal person, he somehow leaps into the air (still asleep) and does this barrel-roll thing...). It's alright. But I sleep anywhere. In cars, on sofas, on the office-chair in the back of my mobile clinic at lunchtimes, on floors, UNDER beds, at the beach, in cupboards...honestly, I'm a NAPAHOLIC and I'll sleep wherever I can be contained.

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    1. Your husband sounds like my son when he was little, he would be asleep and randomly SIT UP and then flail himself backward. Terrifying. Do you sleep in a helmet? I'm sure with your current tiny body you can be all in your own safe area!

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  6. Since I'm living with my parents right now, I still have my childhood bed, which was carved by my great-grandfather. Its a spool bed. I love it. I do not love the mattress. My parents have always believed in giving my brother and I rock-hard mattresses for some reason. Are hard mattresses cheaper, or do they last longer, or what? I would love to have a nice, lovely, soft mattress some day. Maybe one of those memory foam mattresses. I slept on one of those at a friend's house for a few night and OMG! It was like sleeping in a hug. I never wanted to get up.

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    1. Wow that sounds like a great bed with great spirit. I have heard people say that firm mattresses are better for your back, no idea if that's true. Sleeping in a hug sounds....restricting :) but comfy!

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  7. Ok first off, this nearly made me pee: "my husband snores like a power tool lodged inside the body of a large woodland animal." So stop that. Secondly, and more importantly, I can't BELIEVE you didn't get the giant four poster penis bed. You have no taste. I'm never coming to visit and sleep in your guest room unless you get that bed. (I know, you're disappointed, but eventually, one day, you'll get over it). My bed is a piece of crap and I keep getting stabbed by a stray spring. I'm thinking of turning the mattress around so my HUSBAND gets stabbed and will decide he wants to buy a new mattress.

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    1. Oh I do admire that woody bed (see what I did there) it makes me want to learn to whittle.
      I would DEFINITELY be turning that mattress! You're supposed to do that anyway, otherwise all the stains--I mean LUMPS would be in the same place ;)

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  8. Yes, do find the most uncomfortable bed for a teenager. Get them out. Fast. Which is brilliant. I never thought of that. You have convinced me we may need to be good parents and offer to purchase new bedroom furniture!!

    Annnnnnd I didn't think they even made water beds anymore? I had one when I was still living at home. Yep. It leaked. Probably because my stupid ass fell asleep with a fork in my hand when mom told me to not be eating in my bedroom but I did it anyway because I was a teenager and knew a hell of a lot more than she ever would.

    You're awesome. That about sums it up.

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    1. Picturing you waking up in a puddle with a fork in one hand and a big cartoon question mark over your head!
      I'm all about making teenagers uncomfortable, my dad did this like it was his job. Not the good teens, the 0.00005% who do what they're supposed to and either work or go to school or SOMETHING, I mean the ones white need a little ... motivation let's say.

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  9. I love that T-Rex bed. And I'm with you on not making teenagers too comfortable, otherwise we'd never get rid of them.

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    1. It's a necessary strategy, like any good war.
      I love that and the slide bed. Have to look into that one.

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  10. "Longer in the boob" - this is the kind of phrase that makes me wish we could hang out. There's so much awesome going on in this post, but longer in the boob is by far my favorite. I have no bed advice. We have a California King too, and I love it. Smaller beds make me feel like I'm FORCED to cuddle with my husband, and I like him and everything, but I also like to be in charge of when I do and do not cuddle. Oh, and my twin three year olds are sharing a full-size bed now that they've pretty much outgrown toddler beds. They suck at sleeping, but when they do sleep, I think they like sharing a bed.

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    1. I wish we could hang out too, you would kick my butt at funny verbiage and I'm ok with that!

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  11. I wish I could sleep anywhere, but unfortunately I can't, if it's not my big comfy bed I'm not falling asleep. This is one of the reasons I hate going on trips, and pretty much leaving the house all together, because you just never know when a nap is going to come on.

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    1. I hear you, brother from another motherboard. I can't too much either these days. It's why I load up my phone with audiobooks. Also so I can pretend someone is reading to me. It's quite comforting.

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  12. YAY you just solved all my problems... I never wake up not sore or well rested so it MUST BE THE BED! NEW BED FOR ME!!!! HA if only... Also hand me down beds is total a thing.....and enough lysol even the bed bugs are dead....probably...well lets not look at that too closely because its a lie I tell myself because also broke.

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    1. Ooopa! Also I would recommend eating lots of peanuts. They contain B vitamins which give you natural energy and they are DELICIOUS!
      I have stayed in some nasty, smelly CHEAP motels and never thought about what I could have gotten from the mattress. Also cheap *fist bump*

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  13. Those are some crazy ass beds! The penis one----BAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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    1. I know, I literally just didn't know what to say about it. It's one of those things that are better left unsaid, because we each go to our own places in our heads when we see something like that, and why should I ruin someone else's wild ride?

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  14. I just moved from Colorado to Florida, but part of that deal was I had to leave my King size Serta SuperPillowTop behind (as it kinda wouldn't fit in the Nissan Sentra . . . not for lack of trying.

    I've been without it for 2 months now and I haven't slept worth a damn since. I miss it, and I slept on it alone so it was like the world was all mine.

    *sigh*

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    1. Man, I am sorry to hear that you lost the world. However, as a person that walked out of a fully-furnished place and left behind almost all of my earthly possessions, I can tell you I have ZERO regrets about that. Whatever you left had to be worth leaving to leave that kind of thing behind. So there's that, right?
      I hope you get a new world---er BED soon, and it's RUL good.

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  15. I am always searching online for articles that can help me. There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also. Keep working, great job!
    best firm mattress

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