Since 'turnabout is fairplay,' the women involved decided to counter-
Here are some questions and answers, in case you were wondering what goes on under all the cross-dressing at The Insane Asylum.
Speaking of that post, I also was able to obtain some photos of that period in Michael's life.
He pretended they were all destroyed, but I have some photos myself, of a higher-up at the NSA, who was suddenly able to find some of these photos.
No idea why you didn't share these, MJ, they're stunning. Color me stunned.
You're welcome, Internet, and/or I'm sorry (that I'm not sorry.)
Here are the interviewees and their questions, followed by his answers.
Check out everyone's blog and social media channels, they are all hysterical and will answer any of these type questions 24 hours a day.
Probably.
Maybe.
Nothing ventured...
Questions from the gorgeous Beth Teliho
Beth Teliho |
Blog:
Writer B is Me
Writer B is Me
http://bethteliho.wordpress.com
Facebook: https://facebook.com/elizabeth.teliho
Twitter:
@beth_teliho
MJM: Absolutely not, my domain is master of me. I can’t help it, when the urges call I must answer, I mean I am a man for gosh darn sakes.
2. TP, over or under?
MJM: Neither, I prefer it free and loose, that way I can two finger the roll and wrap up my free hand like as if I was mummifying myself, and take care of business as I feel fit.
3. Do you manscape?
MJM: Not on a regular basis, but when I do, I shave it to next to nothing, that way there is plenty of time in-between where I don’t have to worry about it.
I would love to shave the bat symbol in my junk, but I am not skilled enough, the one time I tried it came out looking like a whale on crack.
4. Naughty school girl or sexy librarian?
MJM: I wouldn’t waste your time, because shortly after things get heated up I’m throwing in the towel…sure it’s the nasty cleanup towel, but nevertheless it’s still a towel.
Not only that, a hot chick could come in dressed like Barney the purple dinosaur and I’d be ready to hit it like a Caveman.
5. P test: playgirl, porno, pole (male dancing) or prude?
MJM: I couldn’t do Playgirl unless they were doing the extra-large edition, I couldn’t do porno unless the running time was about the length of a commercial and I couldn’t do the pole unless people were satisfied seeing me flop around like as if I was a fish out of water. So I guess in this case to save me, and anyone one watching, the embarrassment I will just choose prude.
6. Are you a jeep guy or a Lexus guy?
MJM: Neither, I’m a Mustang kind of guy…or the Batmobile, but that’s only on the weekend.
7. Bondage. Hot or not?
MJM: Not, I would freak out if I was tied up and/or treated like a bitch in the bedroom, I would probably start crying and ruin the whole thing.
Questions from the beautiful Kristi Campbell
Kristi Campbell |
Blog:
Finding Ninee
Finding Ninee
http://www.findingninee.com/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/FindingNinee
Twitter:
@FindingNinee
1. Sleeping: Snuggles and cuddles or "move over to your own side, jerk?"
MJM: Totally "move over to your own side, jerk”, we didn’t buy a big bed so we could sleep right on top of each other, not only that, it’s way too hot you sweaty ass mofo.2. What's the worst date you've ever been on?
MJM: There are way too many to list, not trying to sound sexiest, but you women are freaking nuts.
Also, if you know you’re not going to give it up at the end of the date, you shouldn’t have us pay for everything while we’re out, you leave our wallets empty and our balls blue…now that’s cold.
3. Marriage: a partnership based on love or something to endure for the kids?
MJM: Marriage, something only the gays should be allowed to do, because us straight people are totally ruining the sanctity of it.
4. You're taking your date to an upscale restaurant and she's showing a lot of skin. Do you flaunt her proudly or tell her to get a sweater because only you can look?
MJM: If she’s hot I flaunt her proudly, if she’s fugly I make her put on a sweater…one with a turtleneck…that can be pulled up over her head…I wouldn’t want to disgust the other diners.
5. Which of your habits most annoys the women in your life?
MJM: Waking up! They all say I’m great when I’m sleeping, but otherwise, I’m a total dick.
6. Which of your woman's habits most annoys you?
MJM: That’s easy, bitching. I could so do without all bitching.
Questions from the.....funny (usually) Joy Christi
1. Who hurt you? Oh, just kidding. No one cares about that.
2. Since YOU asked US: Gas, deal-breaker or giggle-inducing?
MJM: Who doesn’t love gas, burps and farts, the joys of life.
3. If you woke up tomorrow and were a woman, what is the first---- no, wait, don't go there. What kind of person(s) guys/girls/Sister Wives/LARPers would you date if you were a woman?
MJM: If I woke up as a women I would never leave the bed, as John Mayer said, my body would be a wonderland…oh wait sorry, you said not to go there.
If I was a chick I would be a lesbian, lipstick not butch, and I would only date other hot chicks, because if I wanted a manly women I would just date a metrosexual.
4. If you were a stripper/porn star, what would your stage name be?
MJM: I would either go with Sugar Nuts or Dick Hardwood.
5. What would your hook/special talent be?
__________________________
Thank you, everyone. We look forward to Dick Hardwood's cherry-stem-tying YouTube softporn channel, with dream-sequence visits from Barney and flashes of the Batsignal. Be sure to tune in and ask early and often if the curtains match the rug, just so he can flash and say "It's all hardwood!"
Thank you Beth and Kristi for your answers, and thank you Michael! These answers were a lot less Larry Dallas than I expected.
In fact, they were pretty darn Jack Tripper.
Look at the pictures below, it's clear what needs to happen next. No, Michael, not that.
Look for our sitcom, a Three's Company spin-off next fall on Blogger.
Starring Kristi as Nurse Terri
Right? WHO would NOT watch this show?? Terri's picture found on Pinterest.com |
Beth as Chrissy
Come and KNOCK ON OUR DOOR! from episodeguide.com |
Joy as the brunette that worked in the flower shop.
My photo NOT taken in the 70's, in 2013. Janet from aoltv.com Yes, I had to GOOGLE the name "Janet" and I'm a brunette. |
and Michael as Jack Tripper.
Jack's picture from thegallantguy.blogspot.com |
We just need someone to be Larry, and actually Janet, because let's face it, I'm more Mrs. Roper with those perm rods.
from merciblahblah.com |
Thanks again for playing along, totally of your own free will, Michael.
OMG Joy you outdid yourself! This is AWESOME!! And hysterical. And holy shit the photos....*giggling*
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting this together! Thank you, Mike! Your answers are sweeeeet! Batman in your junk? Nice touch.
Okay I'll probably have more to say after coffee....
All Mike, the rest wrote itself. This was fun, glad we counter-struck.
DeleteBeth it was all the questions, without you three and your crazy ass minds, this would just be a post showcasing my insanities.
DeleteFor any youngins, non-Americans and/or non-TV people, Three's Company was a hilarious sitcom from the 70's (early 80's?) and here is the first episode, you can watch it free online here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvnkg_threes-company-episode-1_fun
Three's Company frigging rocked...one of my all-time favs.
DeleteClassic show. Remember that ONE episode, where there was some sort of misunderstanding?
Delete-- Chandler Bing
LOLOL to the Friends quote!
DeleteThis was all Joy's idea. It was her baby and she did awesome!! Thanks for hooking us up for this hilarious project! I'm still dying over the photos...including our Three's Company ones! hahaha priceless!
Mike - you killed it with your answers! Great job. My favorite line of the whole post: "would love to shave the bat symbol in my junk, but I am not skilled enough, the one time I tried it came out looking like a whale on crack" hahahaha!
Joy everyone should watch Three's Company, that show was flipping awesome and one of the all-time best.
DeleteBeth thanks, but if was all you rocking chicks who made this possible...you three rock!
I think it's clear we just all have that magical Chrissy-Terri-Janet-Jack combo.
DeleteOf course we do...we should start a Three's Company like blog.
DeleteThat would be hilarious. I wish I were better with Photoshop.
DeleteWhat do you mean better...you're freaking awesome.
DeleteJust reading most a lot of these comments and had to jump on and agree that we do have a magic "threes company" dynamic!!!! WOOP! Right, Mr. Dick Hardwood?
DeleteYes we do! They should do a remake and cast us for all the parts, we would hit it out of the park.
DeleteI'm glad you liked it! He really rocks the genie costume!
ReplyDeleteLizzi didn't these chicks do an awesome job with the questions, and of course the pics?
ReplyDeleteI would be Janet, I just found my perm picture strikingly similar to Mrs. Roper. Plus, I love Mrs. Roper!
ReplyDeleteLizzi didn't they though...I am flattered.
ReplyDeleteThis was really great but the best part are all the "awwwww shucks...no YOUR awesome!" comments!
ReplyDeleteTrue that...we're all awesome.
DeleteNo you...I called it first.
DeleteHAHAAHH DUDE JOY!!!!! OMG this is perfect and amazing and brilliant and your photos and the layout are just simply awesome. Also MJM, you're NOT awesome (only said because I see above me the Zoe comment and felt peer pressure to say so but actually you are totally awesome). I love this. Great answers, great photos, Joy and great US DUDES. Our questions rocked!!! HAHAHAH :D
ReplyDeleteAlso I was going to post to this but got all ugh with school cancelled and a woman giving me a slap down the other night about me being dumb. So there's that. She was right. LOVE LOVE this tho so much!
Slapdown or not you are still SO freakin awesome! This whole piece really was a collective bit of genious!
Deleteha Kristi! You know roommates on 70's style shows are always giving each other the business.
DeleteZoe, thank you. Glad you enjoyed it as much as we did.
Kristi we all wondered what happened to you...we missed you. You all three did a great job, you chicks are freaking amazing.
DeleteROFL! Those damn pictures brought tears to my eyes! There are no words! BA HA HA!
ReplyDeleteOnce the tears subsided, I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of this!
I'm so glad. Glad we all found a little corner of the internet where our weird is welcome, and sometimes even appreciated.
DeleteJoy did a great job setting this up...didn't she?
DeleteMJ knows how to rock the perversion with style and grace. OK, who am I kidding! He rocks it with caveman style! Loved it and dry humped it all over the interwebs.
ReplyDeleteI learned everything I know from you, you corrupted me. When I first got into writing I was squeaky clean and as wholesome as a Catholic priest...the kind that doesn't sleep with little boys.
DeleteHahaha now THAT is funny shizz. Like that kind of priest even exists.
Deletehahahaha Joy!
DeleteThey do in the Simpsons.
DeleteFirst of all LOFREAKINGL!!!! Second of all I am writing a post about Three's Company!!! Great minds...maybe I need to borrow your cast of character.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile I think knowing these depraved things about MJ is not good for me. So I'm going to go have my memory erased and I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh c'mon Jen...you know you love it.
DeleteJen I cannot wait to see what a post about Three's Company entails! I'll come and knock on your door.
DeleteJoy it's a work in progress, I'll keep you posted. As long as I don't have to kiss anyone.
DeleteAnd MJM I don't know what you're talking about.
Jen don't worry about it, half the time I don't know what I'm talking about.
DeleteOMG! I am dying right now! Sugar nuts... Haha! I freaking love it. The pictures are Amaze-balls!
ReplyDeleteAren't the pictures great? Joy did a fantastic job.
DeleteThank you guys. I'm not as much of an open freak like most of you. lol I'mma lady on the streets! ;) This was highly entertaining and I'll never look at MJM the same again. I will only see him in tight women's clothing. Thanks for that! ;)
ReplyDeleteHa! Well that is a special and unique gift, one that you just can't return.
DeleteCasey I only wish I looked as good as I do in these pictures, Joy has me looking all hot and stuff, but in real life when I wear women's clothing I look like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.
DeleteMichael, you knocked this out of the park as did the ladies questions! I could read this stuff all day long but it would probably require a Viagra prescription. I debate the naughty girl vs the sexy librarian every day! I work around A LOT of really good looking females. You rock buddy, chest bump from Reno! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend. I do agree with you, stuff like this is extremely fun and could go on forever.
Delete...and it just might.
DeleteLoved it! The manscape was my favorite/question and answer. LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou know me, just being honest.
DeleteNow this is some funny shit! Girls, way to go, turning the tables and all! Mike aka Dick, freakin' hysterical! I started laughing when you started crying about being tied up and haven't stopped yet. Post perfection!
ReplyDeleteThanks girl, glad our post could help tickle your funny bone.
DeleteI know Sandy! I was reading his answer and thinking, "Uhh....usually the man is the dominate one. Why is Mike assuming he's the one tied up...and crying?" LOLOL
Deletehahaha you guys are awesome for pointing that out! Too funny.
DeleteMe the dominate one, please, I can't even order fast-food without crying.
DeleteMichael, first and foremost, you look awesome in sexy lingerie leaning against a pole. Second of all - women? Yes! We're all freaking nuts, and you say. And I am 100% with you on marriage. I think you're right. Only gay people should be allowed to do it. This was LOL from start to finish.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that...let's save marriage!
DeleteAnd definitely more hetero men should cross-dress. Fly that up the flag pole, I salute.
DeleteUm, I just could not get past those first three pictures of Mike in various forms of dress and nudity. My eyes!
ReplyDeleteVery funny answers to the questions.
You're welcome! Consider this my official payback for letting us know you blog and COMMENT on blogs naked!
DeleteMwu-ahahah
Weren't those pictures awesome? I would love to look that good when I'm sporting women's clothes.
DeleteIt was all Joy's fault! I answered the questions all nice and wholesome like, but she told me her readers would never buy it, so I had to rework them into this nonsense.
ReplyDeleteoh suuuuure, MJM. Surrrre.
ReplyDeleteTotally, especially the coily Bat-signal. He would NOT do it and send a picture though. Wimp.
ReplyDeleteWe found this post via our friend Beth Teliho and we are loving your blog, Joy. Mathair and I love that it took three women with balls to interview a man about his manscaping preferences, porn habits, and gassy women. And we love that Mike was unbridled with his answers, especially love what he said about marriage. Sharing now.
ReplyDeleteThese chicks were a blast to collaborate with, kept me on my toes and made it a very enjoyable experience.
DeleteI loooooooooooove this post.
ReplyDeleteFab perspective from cool chicks.
I appreciate!
Amen to that!
DeleteIt is so true, stop it you big meanies.
ReplyDeleteI love EVERYTHING about this post..the pictures...the questions...the answers...the guest bloggers...and most of all...Three's Company. I'll watch that for sure. Beth as Chrissy - brillz!!!
ReplyDeleteI love EVERYTHING about this post..the pictures...the questions...the answers...the guest bloggers...and most of all...Three's Company. I'll watch that for sure. Beth as Chrissy - brillz!!!
ReplyDeleteI love EVERYTHING about this post..the pictures...the questions...the answers...the guest bloggers...and most of all...Three's Company. I'll watch that for sure. Beth as Chrissy - brillz!!!
ReplyDeleteI love EVERYTHING about this post..the pictures...the questions...the answers...the guest bloggers...and most of all...Three's Company. I'll watch that for sure. Beth as Chrissy - brillz!!!
ReplyDeleteI love EVERYTHING about this post..the pictures...the questions...the answers...the guest bloggers...and most of all...Three's Company. I'll watch that for sure. Beth as Chrissy - brillz!!!
ReplyDeleteI love EVERYTHING about this post..the pictures...the questions...the answers...the guest bloggers...and most of all...Three's Company. I'll watch that for sure. Beth as Chrissy - brillz!!!
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ReplyDelete