2014-01-26

Comfytown's Cards Against Humanity

Once I saw Neatorama's "Doctor Who" version of Cards Against Humanity, the wheels haven't stopped turning. 
ACTUAL CARDS from neatorama.com
I love the original game, we've played it a bunch of times and we keep getting worse. As human beings, I mean. Oh, it's just a game. 
Life is.

Anyhoo, my family has already started making their own more disturbing version of the cards once we had seen and played all of the cards that come with the game, and even recorded my sister's neighbor reading the card about "Jerking off into a pool of children's tears" (it's a real card from the game) which may or may not be available on my YouTube channel. 

Hey, I promised him I wouldn't upload it to Facebook, and I have kept that promise. Because I'm a fracking lady.

In case you haven't seen the game "Cards Against Humanity" here is the perfect Reader's Digest Condensed version from blogdailyherald.com because I couldn't explain it any better.

Ah, Cards Against Humanity. The epic drunk-and-bored game of the early 21st century.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, here are the rules:
  • Most of the cards are white and are nouns.
  • The others are black and are questions or fill-in-the-blank types.
  • Each turn, one player pulls a random black card.
  • Then the other players put down a white card they think is funniest when paired with the aforementioned black card.
  • That original player (who pulled the black card) picks his or her favorite pairing.
  • The person who played that white card gets a point.
It’s Apples to Apples, but horribly and hilariously offensive. They made a Brown version with a bunch of cards and jokes I either didn't get, or just didn't find funny so I didn't include them.
The idea of the game is similar to Mad Libs, you fill in your own blanks, then one person picks what they deem to be the "best" answer. According to them anyway. There's no real right answer, and this makes some people crazy. You try to pick which will be the most offensive amusing to whomever is the lucky person deciding that round. 

Knowing your players is the key. And being offensive. So YES, I rule at this game.

This is an example of some of the standard Fill In The Blank black cards that come with the game.
from cardsagainsthumanity.com
Here are some of the example white cards you can chose from to fill in the blank(s), or "answer" cards, that come with the original game.
These are REAL cards from cardsagainsthumanity.com
With the Dr. Who game, you use the same black 'question' cards and just fill in with the expansion pack of white 'answer' cards.

That got me thinking, anyone could make an expansion pack for anything...

A Parents of Small Children version? 
Cards Against Hu-MOM-ity.


Here are some cards from that version. Full deck pending, awaiting money rolling in. Contact me to make a donation. At least for my legal defense.

You know you can picture moms in yoga pants drinking buttery Chardonnay playing this:
These are card I made up today

I am even MORE excited for my expansion pack:
Cards Against Nerd-manity 
in which I replace the cards with people, places and offensive things from my favorite nerdy books, shows and movies.

That title may be offensive to manities. 
from kulfoto.co

Meh, it's just a working title.

This version will probably never be available for legal purchase, imagine the royalty paperwork, but you can contact ME for a printable version for the low, low SUGGESTED DONATION of say, grocery gift cards. My kids gotta eat.

Just like I did with the real game, you may have to talk to Google about some of these.



__________________
Footnote:
To save you 2 minutes, the Pon farr is part of the Vulcan mating ritual.

32 comments:

  1. I GOTTA GET THE ORIGINAL GAME! I've heard so much about it, and your nerd expansion pack looks AMAZING!

    I love your brain :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to say "Thank you" but I'm too WORRIED for you! hahaha
      It is an awesome game! You can print out the cards online for FREE and play at home right now. They totally encourage it!
      Go to here to print and play:
      http://www.cardsagainsthumanity.com/pdf/CAH_MainGame.pdf

      Delete
  2. Bwaahaha. Chewbacca's hairy taint. Dying. Laughing. I've never played the original game but now I'm going to have to!

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    Replies
    1. One of the cards from the original game IS "The taint, the fleshy fun-bridge, something about under-grundle." It's an amazingly inappropriate game.

      Delete
  3. I think you just became my favorite Nerd!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw stupid Blogger, I typed that in l33t speak with 0 zeros as the o's and it fixed it when it posted my reply. Blogger's Nerd-blocking me.

      Delete
  4. I've never heard of this game but I WANT it soooooo BAD. lol Absolutely perfect my circle of friends! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really a lot of fun.
      I love the idea of new cards, too, after you've played with the original deck enough times.

      Delete
  5. Sorry, I'm afraid I'm one of those who has been living under a rock. I'll have to get up to speed on this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those weren't MY words! I had just heard of it in November at a friend's birthday party. Then my sister's neighbors got the game.
      You can print a version at home from:
      cardsagainsthumanity.com

      Delete
  6. Hahaha I have NEVER heard of this game but oh my gosh!! I would totally play the Hu-Mom-ity version for sure hehe :) Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems like it would be a fun thing to make AND play.

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  7. HAHAHA! I LOVE this! Sounds like so much fun. Especially for a Moms' Night In.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might be fun to make your own family-specific versions, with your specific family's kids....quirks lets say.

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  8. I've been meaning to buy that game for weeks now. We couldn't find it at Target! Where the hell do you get it? P.S. My son will ONLY drink milk if I dye it blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sister's roommate's boyfriend (sounds like Ferris Bueller) printed out the whole game from the internet, cardsagainsthumanity.com, and also ordered a copy from Amazon, which took a long time for whatever reason.
      That is pretty awesome about the blue milk. Will he drink milk with blueberry juice? He might not go for the chunks even if pureed, but you can always muddle (read: smoosh) blueberries and take some of the juice. Makes smoothies pretty, even when you add spinach. My Lola HATES green things, and she has no idea how much spinach she drinks masked by blueberry juice.

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  9. We both love this game. Probably my favorite would have to be "Taking a man’s eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes." I mean, how do you beat that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thaaat is a tough one, but it might be tied with my own, "Chewbacca's fuzzy taint."

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  10. Replies
    1. I always get an extra special chuckle when someone you wouldn't expect says "Oh we love this game!" and you're picturing them having tea and finger sandwiches in their Sunday best, reading cards about taints.

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  11. I've only heard about this game from you. Apparently, I live under a rock. And if I had any friends or a social life I'd buy it & play b/c it sounds like fun. Also, start a kickstarter fund to finance your idea & get a full game made & off to market.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, the legal defense would be huge since the game exists, but if I could them to okay an expansion pack......cha-ching.

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  12. Hahahaha! "Chewbacca's fuzzy taint." I die.

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    1. You pictured it in your mind, didn't you?

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  13. Apparently I live under a rock - I never heard of this game, but I want it. However, I want the mom version. That is genius! I love the booger blanket!! Awesome Shit!!!

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    1. Today I tweeted that using the phrase "under a rock" is offensive to those of us that GLEEFULLY CHOOSE to live under rocks, including myself.
      I had only heard of this game late last year because of my sister's roommate. And I like the under-rock life, it's comfy down here.
      The Mom version would be pretty funny, especially if written BY blogging Moms.

      Delete
  14. LOL. I've never heard of this either, but now I wanna play. I'm kinda horrified and impressed that I knew what Pon Farr was. Eh, mom was a Trekkie.

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    1. I'm a pretty big nerd, so that is impressive to me! Star Trek was a great show, even the Original Series, while campy, dealt with major race and sex issues. It's a great show.

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  15. FYI: comment is Norine's. Jess either knows way more than I do … or she's never heard of me. So …

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