2014-01-27

Grammys Are COMEDY Now? (Not a music post)

First I must say I did not watch the Grammys, as I never do, nor do I watch any awards show thanks to Sarah Jessica Parker's overacting acceptance speech at the ONE awards show I watched that one time. That's a really long link to a really ranty post about how much I hate acting awards, awarded to actors....for acting. SJP knows what she did. (Spoiler: She made me hate all awards shows, and all awards in general. She poured me a large hate-tini w/extra Haterade.)

HOWEVER.

So many hilarious moments were impregnated with the hilarity of the costumes alone last night, there was a comedy baby BOOM. Yes, I said costumes, and you'll see why.

Obviously the way to get press these days is to create a buzz. Since most people can't seem to do this with their talent, it seems instead they:
DO ridiculous things, 
SAY the most ridiculous things, and 
WEAR increasingly outrageous, borderline disturbing costumes. 

And yes, it works, because everyone who didn't even WATCH is talking about them. Myself included. The Twitter was on fire with jokes I didn't understand. 

I remember seeing tweets talkin' bout:
"Only Pharrell can prevent phorest phires" 
I did the Scooby side-neck and not until I saw THIS picture this morning, and that tweet traveled backward-in-time like the Matrix of jokes to strike me as hilari-ass. 
See what I mean?
These are from ALL OVER including simply-showbiz.com
Whoever this mad hatter is, and hatters gonna hat, he seemed to have won Twitter AND some of the regular internet today.
from urbandaily.com
And this here is no joke. Well I'm assuming it's not a joke as it was posted on eleventy-five different sites today. Apparently Arby's tweeted the following.


from mediabistro.com
You might think I follow Arby's on Twitter, but come on. Arby's is disgusting. Taco Bell, on the other hand.....that's diarrhea of another color. Nice to see Arby's has a sense of humor at least.

Man, though. I might have to actually start watching the Grammys, this is comedy gold.

And apparently Madonna refuses to age gracefully, giving us more comedy. This must be what Willis was talkin' 'bout with the tweet about "...just missing a 3-piece extra crispy." NOW I get it.
Do cataracts mean you think this looks okay?


Oatmeal is good for your cholesterol, Madge
And a Facebook post this morning from WGN News about how Madonna should probably just retire, sit on her couch and count her money. Seriously, WTgoldenF?
Dang, Madge got GOLDEN DENTURES money.
Have some cheesecake on the lanai with Betty White already.

People seem to be of two minds about Beyonce. I have no idea how I feel, I looked all over for any shits to give and couldn't find any but this picture is pretty hilarious. 

Sorry, dog. from vibe.com
I have nothing much else to offer on the subject. I don't know much about music and I have awful taste in almost everything. 

Part of the reason I don't watch is not to feel even older and more crazy, constantly asking:
Who are THESE people?
What is WITH those anal-probe-wielding aliens with shiny helmets?
and shaking my wrinkled fist at the TV.

I mean, I didn't even know C3PO put a band together. Good for him, he's fluent in so many languages.
from stereogum.com

Seriously though, WHO are these masked.....men? 

If I'm uncool for not knowing, it's not even in the top 20 things. 

Obviously.

Years and years, and at least 2 kids ago, I used to keep up with music a little, mostly by listening to college radio stations and ::drumroll:: I am about to reveal my semi-secret former source of music knowledge *coolness* by looking at band names on video game soundtrack CDs and shows like B3: Bikes, Boards and Blades. I don't even know if things still exist. CDs even?

Anyhowdy, since I mostly hate things that become mainstream, it becomes harder and harder to find things in this world that I don't hate. Like working out and wearing real pants, it's just too much work. 

At the risk of sounding super-white, I LOVE that freaking Thrift Shop song, and the same love song. Color me an old lady, but these are the kinds of songs that get me excited about music again. I'm confused that they were nominated and won in the Rap category, only proving how out of it I really am I guess....or does it? 



 The Cos seems confused as well.

This is not AS funny, but I love LL Cool J so this may be a different kind of treat for some. LL 
It looks like the Cos is staring at LL from above!
from Huffington Post
According to HuffPo, he licked his lips 47 times. Like I said, I may have to start watching this show.

Did you watch? What did you love and hate and what made you scratch your dome and think "WTF?"

25 comments:

  1. No, I haven't watched the Grammies in years, if not decades, now. It's the devil's music.

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    1. For some reason I picture the devil's music having a lot of VIOLINs, but that COULD be because it sounds like 'violence' OR it might be from the Charlie Daniels band "Devil Went Down to Georgia" song from the 80's. 70's maybe?
      Anyway, I never watch either, but it may just be one of those things like "Fashion Police" on E! I might just have to watch it just for the laughs.

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  2. You still don't have a TV? I LOVE YOU. And am wondering why you like me since most of my humor is TV-related ;)
    Pharrell IS cute, he reminds me of LL Cool J, also in music, or was anyway, also not sure I've ever heard a song from him, but he's also? REALLY cute.

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  3. Well I didn't know who Pharell was or what he looked like until you posted the pictures above. I am woefully behind on the music times. LONG LIVE 80s MUSIC!!

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    1. Yes, my fine radical friend. You can dance if you want to, leaving behind any friends that don't dance making them no friends of mine. So much yesness.

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  4. I was soooo incredibly confused by the C3PO fellows, too. I mean, seriously, WTF???

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    1. That is hella weird, to use a phrase from probably 30 years ago, but also could it be kind of brilliant? I mean, if they don't want to go to awards shows, no problem, they could send whoever to fill in for them, right? This could be a big Andy Kaufman-esque prank, it could ALWAYS be someone different, for the next 200 years. How would anyone know? Or care really?

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  5. Totally agree w/ everything! I don't watch award shows b/c usually for 1. do actors or musicians really need more adulation and for 2. the shows are so boring & I don't want to watch 5 hours of boring just to see the 2 minutes of good. And today all anyone gave a shit about was Pharell's stupid hat. Really? This is the big talk of the Grammy's?
    Did Madonna really wear a grill? She needs to go away &, you're right, age gracefully. I saw one little clip of her & she sounded awful. Do love the Sanders comparison tho. But the BEST was the Beyonce comparison. I was like what happened to Beyonce's hair? C3PO was a good one!

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    1. Same here, with the shows. If anything interesting/funny happens, Buzzfeed will make a "Top 13 Most Awkward Moments" post of it before I even wake up the first time in the night to pee. I can't compete with that, why try? I need sleep and I don't get paid for this nasty jazz.
      Beyonce's hair, I'm the wrong person to ask. I assume it's always a wig, and I think that shoulder-length bob business is back. Another thing I don't keep up with, hair trends, I just see that cut more and more on the magic idiot box.

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  6. Dying laughing over here. I felt the same way and Madonna made me want to ralph up my steak dinner. Enough of her already!

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    1. I love when Joan Rivers makes old lady jokes about her, hysterical. And her boyfriend, who is apparently just hitting puberty. Which is fine, turnabout is fair play, but that doesn't mean we can't make fun of it!

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  7. I have never watched the Grammy's. Terrible awards show. At best I watch the Oscars. That's about it. And that's if I'm lucky to have TV. I cancelled my cable years ago and I've had satellite a couple times here and there for short stints. I can't stand the music awards shows as I'd have to see the likes of Miley having what appears to be an epileptic seizure with her ass glued to some random dude's genital region. NO THANKS.

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    1. I'm with you. On all of that. We went down to basic cable, not paying for the crap they call entertainment other than the kids watching PBS, the regular news, etc., and we stream Netflix for less than $10/month. That is far less than what we have paid in LATE fees for movies we rented and didn't return on time!

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    2. OMG YES! Netflix is awesome. I went strictly Netflix for about three years and add that to my movie collection I was never without something to watch. WAY better than cable or satellite any day of the week! :)

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    3. YES. Best invention. The only thing is sometimes we get "Loading" a million times trying to watch something. I've noticed if we do Netflix THROUGH our Wii (gaming system) it loads more at the beginning, and not as much throughout the show/movie.

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  8. I'm glad you do and I'm glad I do!
    He's soooo cute! He's been on some TV shows, but I am out of it in that department, too, unless it's a cartoon or some kind of SyFy, which he has not been in that I've seen. He was on the shows House (a medical drama about a VERY smart-ass, sarcastic-almost-too-mean doctor, so yes, I loved that show) and NCIS (crime series, which I've seen a few episodes of.)

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  9. I know you're familiar with search engines, but THIS little gem is a good picture AND it made me laugh. This is a .gif of him LICKING HIS LIPS about a million times during some awards show, too funny:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/26/ll-cool-j-licking-his-lips_n_4671358.html

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  10. I totally didn't watch because I never watch those shows either. SJP isn't the one who destroyed it for me....but I can see how she destroyed it for millions though!! Glad I missed that one too!! I did however see the macklemore/ Mary lambert/madonna/ryan lewis/queen latifah masshup wedding ceremony thing on a video! I cried!! It was very sweet. I loved seeing all the couples get hitched. If I was there....I might have gotten married again....you know, just for fun and to say Queen latifah married me. I would have had to find some unsuspecting person hanging around in the audience...but, yeah.....you get the idea! WOW...I really got off track there.....Anyway....This is funny. I also have no idea what is going on in the world of music. Turning 40 last year has officially thrown me out of the "cool" loop. I know nothing of anything. I catch little bits of cool things from my kids...but other than that....it's all polyester and crocs for me these days!! ;)

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    1. If I weren't married I would totally gay marry you! I picture in a polyester mumu like Mrs. Roper, with BRIGHT ORANGE CROCS, and the mental image is totally giving me a lady boner.

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  11. I haven't watche in years and holy bat braces what on earth did Madonna do to her choppers? Those side by sides are hysterically funny! Beyonce'.,..can't stop giggling now, Joy! Lizzi is spot on, yer funny! :)

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    1. I have to say, I did not MAKE those pictures, photo credits underneath the pics. I just know anytime I'm too laz---TIRED to watch something like this, Buzzfeed is going to post the top 20 most funny/weird/bizarre moments before I even wake up in the morning. So I get my sleep and just go to there. Another reason I'll never be a paid blogger.

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  12. I can barely stand to look at Madonna's teeth. Seriously. Hey you should update this with what YOU are wearing and link up with us! It's open until Sunday. HAHAAH you follow Arby's on Twitter. You're so freaking awesome.

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    1. I was thinking about it, but do you REALLY need to see my overweight, dirty-haired self in my comfies? Probably a bad idea, unless you need an appetite suppressant...
      Arby's is so gross, reminds me of Homer Simpson:
      "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!" hahaha

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  13. Haha...this is great. And for the record, I love Thrift Shop and the Same Love song too.

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