2014-01-11

Lavatory Goggles And A Case For The Grinch

Time for TToT, Ten(ish) Things of Thankful. This is not your Aunt Sally's blog hop, unless she's all killer and no filler.
Link up with Considerings blog, copy the photo below and tell us some things you're thankful for this week. 

They can be big, they can be small, they don't really have to make sense at all.......just lawyer your way around that.

If you saw my last post...sorry.
Firstly (is that a word?) I am extremely grateful for guest posts. Otherwise my blog would be growing mouldering cob webs by now. Beyond busy, I'm crabby and not feeling creative. I hate to think of spreading that to the world, it's almost worst than the Herp. At least they make a salve for that. (Right? I just assume they do. I've been extraordinarily lucky in that department.) 

Secondly, my smartphone. I know, I know. I fought it, I didn't want one, mostly because I'm a serial phone killer and infamous Thing Dropper, (my Kill List contains dropping phones in toilets, puddles, buckets of paint and walking into a pool with a phone in my pocket, just to name a few.)
from themacguffin.net

Even when I'm cursing it for locking up, again, they really are little hand-held miracles. I have the hardest time getting TO my laptop, starting it up and getting anywhere lately. At least I can get some level of adult(ish) contact during my long days.

Thirdly, family parties. Post-holiday blues are better when you get together for good times. This is  just ONE of the drink stations at my sister's birthday party. 
Not shown are the Beer and Wine stations

Fourthly, my sister gave us an Elf on the Shelf game for Christmas. At first I said "Oh no, she didn't," but it's a different kind of game where you just hide the elf and your kids find him right away. My family is a big game family. They LOVE this damn thing. If we just have it sitting around, the baby gets excited and says "Found it!" 

Okay, okay, I like playing with it too.
"No, not THAT shelf!"
Fifthly (I'm just going with it,) Napoleon Dynamite game. Whether you liked the movie (or HATED IT like my husband did) the game is really fun. It's pretty much my favorite game. You pick 2 (or 3) cards with animals on them, and you have to draw ONE creature with characteristics of all the animals you're given. 

Like Napoleon's favorite animal is 'pretty much' a Liger (Lion/Tiger.) You don't have to be an artist, and it's actually MORE funny if you're not, but it's totally hysterical. Here are sample pictures. I highly recommend this game if you can find it on Amazon, (I saw it there today for $10) or eBay, etc. It's a lot more fun that it sounds!
Bumblebee + Dolphin

Chicken + Zebra

Frog + Butterfly
I'm extremely thankful I can laugh at myself. If you can't beat em, right? I donk things up a lot, and at least I can laugh about it. This morning I was trying to find cups with matching lids before I went to the bathroom, and I totally could not even focus. This explains why. (I may submit this to Urban Dictionary, but I have a feeling this is just me and my spastic bladder.)

Lavatory Goggles 
-noun
Used to describe the complete inability to find an item you're searching for just because you have to go to the bathroom so badly.

Sentence:
"The lid was RIGHT THERE but I just couldn't see it because I had my LAV GOGGLES on. As soon as I peed and came back, I totally found it."


Am I the only one who does that?

All the rest:
This is worth an ENTIRE post, so I feel zero guilt about ending right here on this amazingly high note. Maddox makes a late (but great) case FOR The Grinch.

Not only can I totally identify with The Grinch most of the time, this video and post make an undeniably good case FOR The badly persecuted Grinch, who had an entire song written about how rotten he is? And why? Because he didn't like all of the noise his loud Who-ville neighbors were making. 

Doesn't sound fair, does it? 

I don't like noisy neighbors, do you? 
WHOO does? Sorry.

This made me cackle like a melting witch on a night when I REALLY needed a laugh. 

I give you: A Case For The Grinch, video at the end.

This a break-down of the whopping 30 insults slung at the poor, misunderstood Grinch during the 3-minute song. That breaks down to 1.67 insults per 10 seconds, according to Maddox, but I can't math and I trust him so I didn't check it.
from thebestpageintheuniverse.net/
This is a YouTube video from The Best Show in the Universe. No, no that is the name of the show, though I do concur. 

Curse Advisory: I'm 100% positive there are swears, that's one of the things I love about him. Enjoy!




26 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA THE GRINCH!! Brillz. Love it.

    Great list, Joy! Okay, I have to tell you I'm a game whore! I played "cards against humanity" this past NYE and it's awesome! The N. Dynamite game looks so much fun...I love games like that. Totally gonna check it out.

    Yay adult drinkies.....yum....

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    1. Cards Against Humanity is now a family favorite. I recorded my sister's neighbor reading the card about "masturbating into a pool filled with children's tears," which is on my YouTube channel. I promised him I wouldn't put it on Facebook, and I did not.

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  2. we call it toilet vision. But I assume it's quite a bit like lavatory goggles....I love thee oh so maligned Grinch

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    1. That's the first thing that came to mind, Toilet Vision, but then I couldn't stop picturing the inside of a toilet bowl so I came up with Lav Goggles. They get me when I'm grocery shopping because it's SUCH an enormous pain in the everything to take TWO toddlers into a public bathroom, so I just hold it and wind up forgetting things on the list. Mayhaps I should look into adult diapers?

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  3. I laughed OUT LOUD at your taser pic and the elf in your shelf :D I do love coming here. When you're not crabby, and you write something, IT'S SO MUCH FUN and then you spread happiness, so it's totally worthwhile.

    I...uh...I think I missed the boat for the Grinch. It's a little like watching Dirty Dancing for the first time when you're over 25 and it's really not that good at all. Sorry :(

    The drinks station looks good. I'd be at the wine station. And later I'd be on the floor...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. The Grinch was a children's book (Dr. Suess is super weird so we loved him) and they made it into a cartoon they now play every Christmas. It was written a long time ago, so like the concept of Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer, which was just a department store gimmick originally, it's not dripping with political correctness. This was just a different way of looking at The Grinch, which I loved obvy.
      I'm glad I can amuse and spread a smile! I've been stressed to the point of adult acne and feeling like the worst blogger ever. Parts of me think I should give it up, but I just back away when it gets overwhelming or I'm hating what I'm coming up with in drafts. I haven't figured out HOW to power through the tough times yet. Hopefully this year. I'll try. Thanks for reading and commenting. This is the best group of.people.

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  4. Ah, I love the Grinch and studies of him! Excellent!
    I admit, I've never seen Napolean Dynamite. Somehow missed that boat, but that game does sound like ten tons of fun. Must try some day.

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    1. You could also make your own version of the game if you have Pictionary or just use little pieces of paper with insect and animal names on them. Just pick 2 animals and draw a creature with traits of both. If someone guesses one animal, they get one point. If someone guesses 2, they get 2 points and the artist gets one point for every animal that gets correctly identified. The fun comes from trying to guess the MOST distinguishing factor of the animals, and knowing how the guesser(s) think. It's funny.

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  5. lol
    I like the taster love therapy…Vote for Pedro and your wildest dreams will come true.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. A taser would tend to put some SPARK into your life.
      I don't want my wildest dreams to come true, they scare me.

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  6. I've never heard of the Napolean Dynamite game--it sounds like a lot of fun!

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    1. It really is. Every time we play it with someone new, they claim they can't draw (nor can I) and they think it's going to be awful. All you have to do is draw ONE thing about the animals you pick, just enough to make someone identify it. My drawings are horrible. utter they make us all laugh, so it's still a lot of fun.

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  7. Now Napoleon sounds a little like Pictionary and definitely fun. Thanks for linking up with us this week!

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    1. It is a LITTLE bit, but since it's all just animals it is a LOT easier to draw and guess what people are drawing. The game goes faster, and it's okay if the person drawing is not an artist. It's actually much more fun when they're not. I highly recommend it for anyone between 8 and however old you are when you can't hold a pencil anymore. Hopefully never :)

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  8. Firstly, The Grinch is my Holiday Hero! Along with Scrooge. That looked like an awesome shelf for the elf to be chillin' on. AND that looked like an awesome party.

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    1. I was calling myself the Binch (Bitch/Grinch) this December, because there are just always SO MANY THINGS in December, it gets very overwhelming.
      It was a pretty awesome party, we have 2 little ones so we took it easy and had to leave early, but we have a huge family so it's ALWAYS someone's birthday!

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  9. Even as someone who can draw, I'm salivating just looking at that Napoleon Dynamite game. I don't even care if it's 10 years too late... take my money!

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    1. It is hilarious. I would love to see what you guys come up with. If you play this, PLEASE do post your hybrid animals.

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  10. You got me at the family parties with the multiple booze stations. Even with my numerous relatives, I've considered myself lucky if ANY family party that I went to served something stronger than soft drinks. :P

    -Barb

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    1. I hear you, I'm with you. I'm not above packing my own. You just have to get creative about how you bring it. Clear liquor in a water bottle obvy, but something like SoCo? I pack it in a CapriSun bag, you just have to make sure your kids don't drink it!

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  11. I'm thankful for Nature's Miracle and all of the many stains that it cleans up. And odors too. I actually think I might like the Elf on the Shelf game; it's similar to something my brother and I used to play as kids. So very, very many years ago.

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    1. I will HAVE to look into Nature's Miracle, we can use any miracle we can get over here!
      We used to hide all kinds of random items, we started at Easter with real eggs (and after one wasn't found for MONTHS we were, let's say "encouraged" to use plastic eggs) and then we would just pick random items to hide and have people find. I guess that's the BIG KID version of "Hide & Seek" once you get too big to really HIDE anywhere!

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  12. Yeah, Imma thinking the Napoleon Dynamite game sounds like a good time.
    And it never occurred to me to feel sorry for the Grinch, but you're right; noisy neighbors suck. No wonder he hated everyone.

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    1. As I got older I could identify with the Grinch more every Christmas! I HATE loud noises and music!

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  13. I am a phone-dropper as well. I'm surprised I can keep any phone alive.

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    1. In December, my husband realized I had my smartphone for a whole YEAR and he was thrilled, we're both quite proud! Mayhaps one day I WILL be a full-fledged grown up ?? Meh, one thing at a time.

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