Are You Cartoonin' Me?

I freaking love cartoons, always have, probably always will. I love that anything is possible, especially pure, delicious nonsense. Though I try to bring it everywhere I go, there is just not enough nonsense in my adult life, thanks anyway.
Fire underwater. Because fuck logic.
After my husband read an article about the fight-or-flight reaction that happens in a kids’ brain watching cartoons that change screen image more often than every 4 seconds, my kids don’t watch Spongebob at home anymore. 

Saw this on My Daily Jenn-ism's FB page. I like it.
They don't watch Loony Toons either (yet,) they watch lame educational-ey (and no, grammar hasn’t come up yet,) cartoons, but they have their own nonsense. 

Their newest obsession is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. The baby ROCKS out with her socks out when the theme song starts, she literally flails her arms and runs in circles, and the other day she was so excited she started throttling a stuffed cat at my sister’s. (I may have to upload that to my YouTube channel.) We’re choosing to find that adorable for now. And hold off on any live pets for as long as we can.

I’m fairly certain Disney's writers know exactly what they were doing writing the Road Rally episode, in which the characters have to find the “triangle bush.”
Triangle bush
from videogum.com

They say "triangle bush" about a hundred times. 

The big brute-looking character says he’ll “take a nap before finding that triangle bush.” 

They SING a song about pushing a button on the triangle bush for a “special surprise” -- their words.

I'm sure you know about the many dirty Easter Eggs reportedly hidden in Disney movies, the priest boners and whatnot. If you haven't, or you just want to laugh about them again, I will put a link at the end.

I’m not the only one amused by this apparently, trying to find a picture of the actual Mickey triangle bush I found a video from The Soup, and probably also put myself in a special NSA file:

The cartoon puts the characters into some crazy situations they have to get out of with their “Mouse-ke-tools.” In one episode, somehow Mickey and Pluto float away in giant bubbles, atmosphere, gravity and logic be damned, all the way up to space and are afraid the bubbles will be popped by stars. By STARS.

Closer back to Earth, they get “stuck” on clouds, and cannot pass through CLOUDS, so to fix this situation a talking Duck floats up in a handy-dandy hot air balloon. 

To rescue them? 

Hell no, *rolls eyes dramatically* don't be so 3-dimensional in your fixes to situations. Donald goes all the way up to the clouds in a basket of wicker, propelled by fire, to weigh down their bubbles and push them down through the clouds. Natch. 

What does he use to weigh down the bubbles? Rubber duckies.

So in this scenario, the mouse and DOG were not heavy enough, but a couple of rubber ducks, of FLOATING IN WATER fame, push them right down through. Phew! 

Now try explaining this shit to a curious almost-4 year old without sounding like an idiot. In fact, if you can do that, leave your phone number in the comments, she has so many other questions for you.

They also watch Daniel Tiger, who I believe is the grandson of a stuffed bear on the old Mr. Rogers Neighborhood show. Want to also explain stuffed animal husbandry to my kids? Talk about Softcore porn. 

This show’s catchy, repetitive songs have talked my kids into, and out of several sticky situations. One of my favorite is:
“You gotta try new foods cuz they might taste go-od”
which are exactly and entirely the words to the song. Believe it or not, this song has WORKED on both the older and younger (2YO) to get them to try, and usually eat, several foods and even vegetables. I don’t care how annoying the songs are, they work. This show is solid gold.

We recently watched an episode about delivering the mail. They visit the Post Office, and besides having NO line at the post office, despite only ONE worker, they sing a song about what could be INSIDE the packages. So of course, the packages just magically come open. 

Lookey here, someone is mailing socks for a reason I can’t possibly imagine.

That seems like an awesome thing to teach kids. Look, this package has a TEDDY BEAR! 

Yay, great things come in the mail kids, so be sure to open all of your parents packages and check for toys!

Here the mailman/person/carrier, whatever the PC term is now, lets Daniel open other people’s mailboxes and put letters inside, mayhaps federal US laws don’t reach to Tiger Beach?
This seems like a good opportunity to teach your children about tampering with people’s mail.

Like I said, these are pretty tame. Lola is almost 4, so I assume she's old enough to watch Adventure Time with me when the baby takes her nap. If you haven't seen it, get familiar. I could (and probably will) do a whole separate post just on Adventure Time. One of the main characters is a shape-shifting, talking dog and his girlfriend Lady Rainicorn, is a unicorn made of rainbows. Delicious.

That is one of the best cartoons anywhere around right now, but I can’t wait for the day when I have to explain about anvils, and drawing a bridge on the side of a mountain to trick a roadrunner. *Meep meep*
from Reddit.com
As promised, here are 17 dirty Disney Easter Eggs hidden in movies. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go apply for a job with Disney. Again. Perverts NEED to have good insurance.


  1. HA!! I love it. My kids are so obsessed with Dora now that they refuse to watch anything else. Well, except Lady and the Tramp. We watched that at 4 a.m. yesterday, but that's a long story. They used to love Daniel Tiger though, and I did too, because you're right - those dorky lil' songs are so handy! Mine sing "Haffa try new foods might think it's go-od!" instead of the real lyrics, which I think is adorable.

    1. That IS adorable! I love when they make their own little word combos, I have yet to correct them. Sometimes they correct each other, or just figure it out unfortunately.
      Mine have ONE Dora DVD and they DO ask for it over and over, but luckily we don't have Nickelodeon so I just put the DVD in once in awhile, and they're good with that. I get the 4 a.m., my kids have always gone through stages of waking at all hours, crying or going potty or "what's that noise? I'm scared, I wanna sleep with you." Yeah NO. Not starting that! I'd rather fall asleep in the hallway, telling them to get BACK in their bed than try to get through nights of kids flailing around wildly in their sleep! They move around like crazy and make a TON of noise, even when they're totally asleep.

  2. I've been at friends houses while they attempt to entertain their kids with all kinds of "educational" videos. I know that, being an adult, I take what's on the videos for granted but HOLY CRAP could they be more annoying? One summer I babysat a little girl who LOVED Nick Jr. I went home with migraines every day for three months because that channel hired the worst possible singers on the planet. I'm convinced. But one day I will be the parents attempting to placate and educate my kids with those kinds of videos. So perhaps I should just start thinking of witty answers to potential questions, eh? :o)

    1. Ugh. It is definitely worse having to sit through with someone ELSE'S kids. At least I can throw down a "Oh, it's just the circle of life" type answer.
      Adult or child, education = BORING.

      "Work and fun don't mix, unless you're a clown."
      -- Jake the Dog.
      That is a quote from the non-educational Adventure Time. You do the opposite of learning, but it's hilarious.

  3. One of the big advantages of being childless is not having to endure Disney cartoons. Especially that effen Mickey Mouse.

    1. One of the many, many, many! I don't know what it is about that damn mouse. He's the hypno-toad of this century. And last century I suppose as well.

  4. We are going through a Clubhouse phase right now and if it's not that, it's Daniel Tiger. My favorite part about the Mickey show is when Donald Duck dances at the end- what the hell are those arms/wings doing?

    1. hahahaha after we watch the Clubhouse, whenever any issue of any kind comes up, my daughter Lola says "Maybe Toodles can help us?"
      I don't know, is Toodles a bartender??

  5. Replies
    1. I guess that's what Red Hot Chili Peppers were singing about in Californication, with the words: "Hardcore soft porn."

  6. We just binge watched Daniel Tiger on netflix because I had NO energy to actual parent that specific day (yay pregnancy)...but I ended up having those songs stuck in my head for days! At least they work! So I'll take the repeating soundtrack...for now.

    1. They DO work! My husband said about a week ago, if it weren't for Daniel Tiger's "It's almost time to go, so pick one more thing to do" song, we would STILL be at the park, after a fall day when my Lola did NOT want to leave the park! But we sang her the song, she said "I pick the blue slide" and she went down and then magically she was okay with leaving. SO WEIRD. But hey, I'll take whatever works!
      Hope you're feeling less pregnant soon, but at least there's always an END to that tired feeling. Eventually :)