Crazy End Zone Dance

It was an exciting weekend, including the premier of “Sharknado.” A self-explanatory movie treat for people fortunate enough to have the SyFy channel, which despite it’s awful spelling stands for “Science Fiction,” and unlike whiskers on kittens, or anything else in that song, is one of my fav-o-rite things. We no longer have that channel because we have chosen to be poor, eeerrrr I mean RICH in baby smiles and the laughter of children.

Also this weekend? My oldest child turned 18. I have no idea how you’re supposed to feel at this time, happy? Proud? Relieved? Who knows. I'm not even sure how I feel, as I also have a 3 yr old and 18 MONTH old. So mostly I just feel tired. I don’t have typical responses to these things, and our family is not a typical family. I did feel very happy, proud and relieved when he graduated high school a couple of months ago. In fact, walking out of the ceremony, I really wanted to spike a football and break into some elaborate crazy end-zone dance.
from wafflegif.com
But before I prep for a Gatorade bath, I realize this game is not over. My game is going into extra innings. I am proud to have come this far, and if all of the challenges that Life has chest-passed at us were taken into consideration, I would be in the Parenting Hall of Fame. My jersey would be retired. I also? Should hold the MVP record for most over-use of (and mixing of sports) metaphor.

My Overtime - okay, last one - will be grueling, because my son is not going off to college to prepare for a predetermined career in whatever-ology. He still lives with me, he's taking classes at the community college a few blocks away, and he has not stopped celebrating his graduation, even though it was months ago. He has yet to look ahead to the upcoming challenges, as I feel he should be. He is 18 now, he wants to make his own decisions and do things his way

This gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. A feeling of fear, doubt, worry-parent-guilt? Who knows. Like a lot of parents I imagine, I worry for his future. Like a lot of people in the world, school is not my son’s strong point. This, and a LOT of other teenagery things, really worry parents at this time in their child’s life.

Don’t get me wrong, my unique son is a large bag of awesome, he has many talents and gifts. He is blessed with an amazing imagination, he has written entire books in Crayola markers, REALLY good, hilarious books, and I hope he continues to do so. 

He is a talented artist, his drawings tell a story with the shadowing and small details he includes, that idiots like myself would never think to include. I hope he can pursue this gift, whether he makes money from it, or it’s just a hobby for him.

Parents just want the best for their children. As a person who didn’t go away to college after high school, and because of a series of increasingly unfortunate events, had to interrupt college classes with WORK, life, children, etc., and constantly had to go back, take more classes at night, learn new things, look for better jobs while I had a job, etc., I don’t want him to have to deal with all of that. It’s a lot of stress. 

He claims he understands that, but his actions say otherwise. His actions say he wants to learn from his own mistakes. *sigh* That. That is the hardest thing a parent can face.

Sometimes I feel like he is such an effing MYSTERY to me. I know he is a lot like his very stubborn, (to put it mildly and ahem, politely), biological father. My gray hairs are proof of that. I know he also has my father’s humor, gods help him, and ability to make people laugh. That goes a long way, and like my father, people enjoy him for that, however annoying it can be at times.

I know at this age, especially in modern America, all people are still figuring it out themselves and I get that. It was a really difficult time for me. He’s handling it better than I did, but that’s a pretty low target. I know that he is going to be great. He already is, he has been through a lot, and seen a lot. He is a GOOD person, and he has very strong family values.

NOT my family, the Duggars from celebitchy.com
We come from a long line of great, wonderful kooky people. He has a big family on both sides, between my brothers, sisters and his father’s sister and many brothers, and all of their children, we have seen it all, good times, bad, richer, poorer, in sickness, health…..wait, wait I think I rambled myself into marriage vows somehow. That’s beyond Freudian.

I just mean there were a lot of people around, so a lot strange shit has gone down. He loves his family, and we all talk about our victories, defeats and don’t hesitate to laugh at ourselves. Whatever happens, he is always very calm. Not a lot of things rattle his cage. In all of my experiences dealing with all kinds of people, from my different jobs in a myriad of industries, to volunteering with all walks of life, if there is ONE THING I wouldn’t want any child of mine to be is easily stressed out by life.

TRUE STORY from edweek.org
Life is never perfect, it’s messy, has its ups and downs, and if you’re doing it right, it’s very challenging. The only consistent thing is change, and if you can’t roll with the changes, you’re in for a long, painful ride. I may not have provided a perfect life for my son, but I always agonized over doing what I felt was the right thing. I loved with all my heart, let love rule over the pursuit of perfection, and tried to learn my mistakes, and my parents' mistakes. 

We did a lot of things, we tried a lot of new things, went to many different places, moved a ridiculous amount of times, met a whole world full of different people and learned a LOT. Some things we learned the hard way, but those are lessons you never forget.

We have lots of memories, stories of all sorts, and experiences to draw from. I can confidently say, he is prepared for anything life can throw at him. Will he make a ton of money, or be a captain of industry? Who knows. He will definitely not be afraid to try new things, or freaked out because Facebook updated their software and something CHANGED. He will roll right with it, make a corny joke, and even if he IS worried about something, he will never show it. 

He will try his best, and hopefully if necessary, call someone in his family for advice, and just keep trying. One of my many worries is that he is TOO CALM. His waiting until the last minute always makes me nervous, but I do remember having the same conversations with my parents.
This is SO DISTURBING found at nickgeek.com
He does know that even if things don’t go swimmingly the first time, all that means is a good story some day. I just hope he takes those stories and writes them down. Mayhap in a blog. I will keep you posted. In between dying my grays and treating my stress acne. 

My family's preferred "treatment" no matter what the ailment:
This was taken at my son's 18th birthday party.


  1. An 18 year old and an 18 month old -- you're playing both ends of the football field (just to keep those sports metaphors going)! I think all parents can do is just trust that the values instilled during childhood will kick in and all will be well in the end.

    1. hahaha just when I thought I had taken those metaphors and beaten them to an untimely death. Well done! And yes, you make a good point. I keep trying to remember how "worried about me" my dad was always saying he was.

  2. Can I have a shirt like that when my son graduates? He's only 7, but I'll put in my order now, so I can cling to it at night. PS: love the rainbow of liquor at the party bar. I think that should be a new rule: When serving booze, it should always be in rainbow formation. -- Norine of Science of Parenthood

    1. Cointenly! I'll see if I can find the place where I made a Tshirt online for Father's Day for TWO DOLLARS. Literally, I uploaded a picture and everything and I don't even think shipping was a million dollars. How do they make money, who knows?
      I'm with you, EVERYTHING should be in rainbow order. I mean it's like a free hug for your eyeballs. I was watching a cartoon with my son and the "artist" and I shudder to use that word, drew a rainbow with the colors NOT in Roy G Biv order. What the FRESH HELL is that?? Why bother? Then I saw another one like in the grocery store on a cake. WTH? That's like putting an orange on a greeting card but coloring it purple. Why? Just WHY? HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SLEEP AT NIGHT?!

  3. Replies
    1. YES! Ha to get to ComfyTown, 2nd star to the right and straight on until morning. Wait, that might be Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. You don't want to go there!

  4. LOL I totally laughed out loud envisioning a very happy mom doing that dance because her child graduated! So funny :)

    1. It would have been hilarious, I'm pretty uncoordinated! It was just really such a relief, we have had so many tough days with homework, projects, studying, and my husband trying to help him with Math, I felt like he & I should have gotten an award ;)

  5. I SO love this post! I can't wait until the girls all turn 18 and I don't have to hear the whining on a DAILY basis. :-) I recall, sometime around the time I was 23, my mom got this little decorative pillow embroidered with the phrase, "By the time your children are fit to live with, they are living with someone else" - at the time I was a little offended. But I TOTALLY get that now.

    1. hahahaha reminds me of a stained glass decoration in my GrandMother's window: "If it's not one thing, it's your mother." You should have given THAT to her!
      Whining hasn't stopped. I have to wake him up to leave the house and take placement testing at 8:30 and I am ALREADY dreading it! He is a sleep hybernator. He has an olde timey 3 Stooges alarm clock w/the actual BELLS, and it still didn't work. It wakes everyone ELSE up in the tri-state area but not him.