BTS, ALS, ISIS, WTF: Attack of the Letters!

You probably didn't notice but I've taken a break from blogging. Also social media, the news, being a grown up, that kind of thing.  The Thankful-est Thing about writing your own blog (besides making up your words) and making no money doing it is that you can take a break any-darn-time you want.

I need to finish up writing about the court case, but Life, stress and getting sick have put that on the backburner. First I need to get out all the gobbeldy gook swimming around in my brain. It feels like a bowl of crazy alphabet soup with all the letters I'm seeing over and over and OVER (hence, needing a break.)
from asperkids.com
First: ISIS, ALS
Don't worry, I'm not getting into a whole political thing. As thankful as I am for the amount of information and interaction readily available to us, sometimes I just need a break from seeing the same stories and news items over and over. 

Whenever a celebrity dies, or during times of especially gruesome stories, anything that just overwhelms, I need to get away from the madness and focus all of my patience on the small people I'm in charge of. They deserve my best, and reading everyone's take on depression isn't going to have me at my best. Nor is looking at eleventy billion ice water challenges, and then the people who actually have the nerve to complain about a genius marketing campaign. 
Homer Simpson's ice water challenge, fuuuuuunny.

Speaking of the Haters, I believe it was the hilarious Kate Hall that pointed out "curmudgeons gonna curmudge," which made me laugh and I'm thankful for that. 

That's usually how I feel and it rolls right off, but the H8Rs really irritated me this time. Sometimes I do stupid things like point out to jackasses how phenomenally jacked their asses are to to complain about something like a successful charity drive gone viral. 
Remember this guy from Monsters U? "This guy hates charity!" 
Blogger won't upload the video, but it's here:

This one which obviously raised millions and millions, let alone awareness of a particularly horrific disease. If you can complain about that, you're either jealous that you can't get your finger on the pulse of the scary monster that is the modern marketing market, or you're just a HUGE ass. 

Either way, why do I argue with those people? I need to stop. Thankfully now when I'm stressed, I just walk away. And by walk away, I mean uninstall the Facebook app. I'm super thankful I did that, it was one of the best decisions I've made lately. Yes, I still give it a spin through my web browser, but after FB trying to force me to install their stupid Messenger app, it felt like a great decision.

Deleting the Facebook app is MUCH better than getting pissy about it, or taking out all my built-up rage on some random idiot person online. I sometimes do it under the guise of slacktivism, in which we (I) 'stand up' for what we (I) believe in, while not leaving our (my) couch. Hey, most days that's all I got. 
from bordenproject.org
When I was nominated for the ALS challenge, I gave everyone a break and explained how my challenge was provided by Mother Nature. It poured down rain the morning I had to take the garbage out. I didn't film it, I'm sure it was riveting. 

I did donate a whole whopping $10 and nominate 3 other people. 

If you don't know about ALS, it's like Stephen King made it up for a horror story. And that's what your life becomes if you get it. 

You become a prisoner inside your body, your muscles stop working until you eventually can't even swallow your own spit.  Horrific.

Back to School. No huge whoop for me this year, physically anyway. Lola, my middle child, is starting Preschool and I watch kids at home so I get to drop her off and pick her up myself. Along with her 2 yr old sister, a 3 month old baby I watch, and her 2 yr old brother. 

A 2yr old, bee-tee-dubs, whose father thought it would be a good idea to start potty training him exactly 3 days before he came back to me for daycare. Even though he JUST turned 2, and he doesn't communicate well. And he wakes up from sleep and every nap soaking wet. He's so not ready. 

If you followed my Facebook page last year, I used to call this kid Chee-Dubs, or CW, and you probably don't want to know why. This year his nickname is Gross Pants. Because GROSS. 

It's bad enough trying to potty train your own kids, but someone else's? Who is NOT ready and not cries EVERY TIME you ask if he has to go potty. Ugh. 

I had to create a chant, which went something like:
"It could be worse,
It's too early to be drunk,
They pay me for this,
It could be worse"
and so on.

I need to focus on the thankfuls of the situation.

I'm thankful they pay me to watch their kids. It covers our groceries, which is a huge Thankful right now. I tried to find other work from home gigs, none of them worked for me while my kids are this young. 

Watching other kids gives my kids someone to play with, and also keeps them in check. They have had my full attention since birth. With the 4 year old, it was getting bad. She's pretty demanding. Her dad is better about making her wait, and telling her she needs to play by herself for awhile, etc. I'm working on it, and the extra kids help.

They love the new baby. Though they are jealous when I'm feeding her, or she's crying and getting all of my attention. We're trying to figure out how to have my 2 kids on my lap WHILE I feed the baby. A different kind of human pyramid.
It feels like THIS.    from entertainment.malaysia.msn.com
It also thankfully confirms that we never, ever, EVER want to have another baby. Unless we won the lottery or something, this is all we can handle. When the other kids are here, for a total of FOUR kids age 4 and under, I'm running around like a maniac, cursing my inability to stick to a schedule. Kids care none for schedules. They laugh in the face of organisation. And one takes a steaming dump all over it. Literally.

When they leave I'm exhausted, thankful to have just my own 2. Not counting the teenager, which thankfully has been staying at his dads. He may have driven me right over the edge this past week if he were here. 

He's a story for another time. Like 10 years from now, when I'm over the PTSD of trying to deal with a young adult with ADD/ODD and whatever other letters you want to throw in the alphabet soup of my addled brain. He's doing fine, he is still working two jobs and is a good person. I just lost all ability to communicate with him, and motivate him to move his life along in a forward direction at any rate. 

I know, he is an adult, in numbers, and he has to do most of it himself now. I just can't help wanting to help him with the details. I want to give him necessary life skills that I think young people need to be taught, like:
Cooking, basic of course. I can barely do it.
Banking, online, etc.

That kind of thing. I don't know what the fresh fudge happened to Home Ec in school, but these things are basics that everyone will need to make themselves familiar with at some point. Learning the hard way sucks balls, take it from me.

Hey Mrs. First Lady:
You want to fight the Obesity Epidemic?
Why don't we fund basic cooking classes in school, so kids don't think they have to rely upon a Dollar Menu from a fast food chain. 

I know, that probably sounds crazy. Why don't we just continue with the current system that's not working? And keep pushing the nonsense math clusterfudge in school, and then let everyone be unprepared for life. Then everyone and their Aunt Sally can sue McRestaurants for killing us slowly with genetically modified space age polymers under the cloak  of being "food."

P.S. Isn't it adorable that McFastFood chains still call their locations restaurants?

See, this type of not-funny ranti-ness is why I've been avoiding being online. How do you fight losing your funny? By writing through, or waiting until it passes? Hopefully now that most of the brain funk is out, mayhaps I can move on. And finish the dang court case post. Which is mostly finished, but it's about 10,000 words, so it needs to be edited down.


  1. I took a break from blogging and being social as well. A 3 year break. I probably needed it, but damn it's good to be back! Love the blog and expect some love soon on my own blog as well.

    And thank GOD I finally found a blogger who is as wordy as f$&* as I am!!

    If it ain't 2500 words or more, it ain't done!

    1. Oh, I can RAMBLE!
      Welcome back, Kotter. I see you love the F word, so I'm already a fan of your blog.

  2. I saw something or another on TV the other day and realized that what fast food companies call themselves is "quick service restaurants." Hahahahahahaha -- bastards.

    1. I've seen that, too. I was wondering if there was a different between quick serve and fast food, but not wondering enough to have a chat w Google about it.

  3. I have been feeling really lousy about not being able to get back to you recently... thanks for this post... I was gonna write to you tonight! I think we are both in the same place... overwhelmed and pissy... by whatever it is we are usually and unusually overwhelmed by... Im hoping to work it out soon cuz somethin has gotta give!!!! So I still have your piece and it IS really good I just am really bad off right now and I know you get it so I am not worried just letting you know ... I miss you!!!!

    1. Oh NO WORRIES at all, Zoe! I haven't even been paying proper attention to my email. It's like anytime I touch my laptop, something weird happens that requires my IMMEDIATE attention, and by the end of the day: I'm done. It's no big deal. Like I said, that is the beautiful thing about blogging: We make our own timelines and rules!

  4. "curmudgeons gonna curmudge," HA! I need that on a t-shirt.

  5. Whoa dude, you've had a lot going on lately! The only really annoying thing about taking care of other people's kids is, you sometimes have to go along with the parents' decisions, even when you know that they are stupid decisions. Like, in your case, trying to force a child to get potty-trained. (If anything, he is going to take LONGER to get potty-trained because the experience is so unpleasant for him!) In my case, things like letting a toddler have candy for breakfast and spend the whole day watching TV in her pajamas... not once, not once a week, but ALL THE TIME!!! Frustrating, isn't it!

    1. That is true! My sister did in-home daycare for years and she said the parents are always worse to deal with than the children. These parents are nice, I think the dad just really wants to not pay for diapers. I hope it doesn't wind up giving he kid a bad feeling toward it, like you mentioned. The other thing, with candy for breakfast, oh no. I could NOT ever hold my tongue with stuff like that. Sugar is a total sometimes food. I tend to over-react with sugar, after seeing nutritionists when my son was little. He was ADHD/ODD and after we changed his diet it made a huge difference!

  6. Oh how I feel ya!!! I have lost my funny BAD! Every time I post I feel like It is taking everything inside of me!! I am just not feeling it right now. I should probably walk away because maybe that would actually help me a little. I am definitely in a funk about this whole internet thing. It's feeling forced... which makes it hard to keep going.

    My husbands dad died from Lou Gherrigs disease and it is an awful disease. I am in complete agreement with you about the Curmudgeons! I don;t usually jump on the new "trend" that is going around...but for the first time a trend is actually doing great things and of course there is people that have a problem with it!! ... I'm not sure if you watch Doctor Who...but the best thing I have ever heard was someone saying that a dalek is the spirit animal if the internet.... Hard crunchy outside with a gooey center of hate!!! Yep... ;) After reading about your potty training adventures...I have to share with you a story that happened to me. I remember back when i was watching this kid who was potty training...and all this kid ever drank was TANG!! He barely ate anything and he drank TANG by the gallons. His mom would bring me the big huge conatianer of it because if he didn't have his TANG he would freak the frick out!! Well....you can imagine what this kids poop looked like! YEP...TANG! And he would get on my toilet and poop...and then "try" and wipe himself< But he never actually wiped himself...instead he would end up with nasty runny TANG poop that was wiped on EVERY DAMN THING in my bathroom. He would get it on his hands and instead of washing he would wipe it on the counters, the bathtub, the walls....anywhere he could just to get it off his hands!! Oh those were the days. I have never been able to look at TANG again! This kid literally would shit TANG!! ick... I actually ended up telling his mom I couldn't watch him anymore because I could not deal with the amount of shit this kid would wipe all over the place. ...

    1. I'm so sorry about your Father In Law, that had to be really rough. You've been with your husband for 187 years, too, so he was practically your father as well. So devastating. It's really the worst disease I've ever heard about. I took a medical ethics class and we had a whole Kevorkian unit, and diseases like this are when I totally get it. Religion be damned, this is some scary shit. I would want to end things on my own terms, rather than just wait to be a prisoner in my own body.
      Oh that Tang kid sounds so super disgusting! Good for you for getting rid of him. I can't even imagine! That crap can't possibly be good for you either. Not at that level. I watched 2 little girls a few years back, the older girl was really sweet but the younger one? Pure evil. We even called her "Evil" and she would give everyone dirty looks, to the point where her mom would wipe her face and say "Stop looking at me like that." This kids eyes could penetrate your soul and make you go all cold inside like a dementor until you felt you would never be happy again. She would only eat fruit and drink only juice so yeah, she shat mud like 6 times a day. Pure black, molten evil coming from her evil insides. So disgusting. Her mother was also a piece of work. I should do a blog post on the mom, she was crazy. She kept telling us what her daughter "told her." This kid was not even 2 and the only words she said was "Ma ma, Da da, and NO." But according to the mom she 'told her' she would only eat organic fruit, it HAD to be organic or she wouldn't eat it. Uh, excuse me Liar, did you know that I feed her 3 times a day and it's never organic fruit? Dumb.

  7. Hey Joy! Sometimes you just need to take a break. No biggie.

    I agree about the ALS bucket challenge. It's a good idea and fun way to raise money for the charity. People need to stop complaining.

    Hope you have a terrific Labor Day weekend! Enjoy and have some fun. Sorry I have not been around in a while as I have had some family matters to attend to recently.

    1. I was sorry to hear about your loss. Hopefully you have a weekend full of fun planned!

  8. We too took a blog break in favor of quality over quantity. Looking forward to the conclusion of the court case. Better not to slap that one together since it's such an intriguing case.

    Also, I too laugh at McDonald's calling themselves a restaurant. Last time I went to a fast food joint they asked me if I wanted to "dine in today." I said let's not kid ourselves, man, this is not dining. This is gorging on cheap "food" because I'm too lazy to cook today. This is most certainly not "dining."

    1. I agree. I was sad when you went down to.posting once a week, but they're worth the wait, so there's that.

  9. I'm new here-- followed the breadcrumbs from Marcy at "So Then" but I adore your style and candor and will be back for more!
    Stephanie aka Little Miss Menopause"

    1. Welcome! I.love "So Then Stories¡!" Good stuff and welcome! I will check your blog out. Any friend of Darcy's should be a friend of mine!

  10. Hey, newbie over here and I justed wanted to say that I don't think you've "lost" you're funny at all! I love your posts!!! So sorry to see you're feeling down lately. Between ISIS, Robin Williams/Depressionamageddon, Russia probably about to start a new Cold War and 'EBOLA IS COMING PEOPLE' I think there's a lot to be sad about at the mo and I've been trying to write through it myself, even when I reeaaally don't feel like it. I think I'm gonna follow your lead and try to avoid the news for a while until I feel sane again... Although I can't delete my Facebook app, I'm one of those sad losers that's totally addicted to that shit! X

    1. Ha. Well I should mention I still go to there, and spend time on Instagram, Twitter and sometimes even Pinterest. It's not like I completely unplugged!