Your 2014 Holiday Letter. Plug and Print. Or Email.

I used to love to include a letter with our Christmas cards, tell people what we're up to, what we've achieved, my son is still alive. See, Dad? I CAN parent. That kind of thing.

The last few years, I have not been....inspired. For several reasons. Lack of sleep, busy days, lack of sleep, Also you forget things when you don't get enough sleep. I've also heard people can repeat themselves when they're not well rested. Where did I hear that before? I dunno. 

Besides, there isn't much to be said about the daily or even annual accomplishments of small children that people couldn't guess. They ate, they pooped, they made messes. Wow.

I figured to save us all time, there should be a Form Letter you can fill in and print out when you print your address labels if you must, (you're not still HAND writing them are you, Wilma Flintstone?! Oh honey, you can print at the library if you don't want to spend the money for ink for your printer.) 

Better yet, pretend you're on an Earth-Saving mission and copy and past the following into a mass group email!

Feel free to update one of the following letters. Fill in specifics and delete any sections you don't need. 


1. I sent this out last year:

Happy Holidays! 

We're alive and well and hope you are, too. 

For more information, see Facebook.


2. I haven't been updating Fakebook, d'oh! So I had to get creative this year.

Hello Special Person,

We would like to wish you a happy and peaceful season.

2014 was a year for  us. How about that crazy thing in the news? Crazy. 

We have had a year, we learned and did a lot of stuff. And also things. Hope you did, too.

Spawn Update 
(delete or change to 'Dog' or 'Cat' etc.)

The little ones are getting bigger. It's like they're growing every day. One minute they're doing this and the next day they're doing that. Am I right?

The middles ones are learning and excelling in their sport or extra curricular activity, and doing what they're supposed to be doing, except when they're not. 

Those scamps. It's a good thing we're Santa has a short memory.

The teenager(s). Well, we're supposed to love them no matter what. 

They'll be adults soon and then they're society's problem. 

Have a wonderful holiday and and a happy and healthy 2015!


  1. I like letter two, clever and true every year, after year, after year. But seriously, I don't even send out Christmas cards. Never have, never will. I like to keep my social circle small and with the postage prices in Canada, it's cheaper to call someone.

    1. I agree, I don't usually send anything out. I feel like that gives us an out for the rest of the year, I'm probably just making that up though. I just feel like uploading a few pics to Facebook and sending out our annual family picture is just enough information to let people know we're alive, doing well, so no reason to call and check up on us. So far it's working quiet well!

  2. These are fantastic. And yes, for mine, insert dogs.

    "Dear family person,

    It's been another great year for the "kids!" Get it? We're referencing that our dogs are our children so you'll get off my damn nuts about being 30 and not spawning yet.

    'The kids' send all of their love, and by that I mean they're dogs and they don't understand the concept of Christmas or well wishing, so I'm just saying that in an attempt to make you feel good and to forget that I didn't send a present with this card. Did it work?


    1. It NEVER stops.
      It's either,
      "When are you going to find someone?"
      and when you do,
      "When are you going to get married?"
      "When are you going to have a baby?"
      "Time for baby #2."
      Geez old people, read a book or watch the news. Let's talk about something else, ey??

  3. I love it. I've given up all together, so kudos to you for trying to make something work.

    1. I had for awhile, but with my 2nd wave of kids I found a bit of a second wind. For some things.

  4. The older I get, the less time I seem to have for doing things like Annual Christmas Letters. And by "time," I mean "energy."

    1. Same. My list of minimal things gets smaller every year.

  5. LOL...you make me laugh. Ironic I should read this just now as my Christmas story has been pending and not sure how to...or IF to...this year. Still giggling at those letters. Brilliant, Joy! :)

    1. Thanks, Mike. Your Christmas Story ey? Complete with neighbors with big dogs, and you helping your dad change a tire and saying the EFF word? Looking forward to it!

  6. Dear Blogger

    I read this funny writing you wrote and it made me have a response, so I thought I'd write the response here, so you know that I had it.

    Your grammar and spelling were very good.

    There was a premise, which I enjoyed.

    It was a good read

    Warm feelings,


    1. Thank you READER for your response, it was read. There were words and grammar and punctuation and a use of the language.
      The Blogger

  7. Haha, love this... possibly because it reminds me of my boyfriend. He sends similar messages when he's too tired at work (for example, "I'm having a good day. A thing happened and people responded in a way that was expected and then another thing happened and I had to call a person about that thing. Then I went to a place for some lunch.").

    Merry Christmas Joy & Family, have a good one and a happy 2015!

    1. hahahaha I love to do that to people just to be a brat. I'm sure that's not what your boyfriend is doing :)
      Merry Christmas to you! Here's to many more laughs in 2015 and beyond!