This summer Imma marry my sister.
|I apologize for the display of the racist flag. |
This was the only good "marry my sister" pic I saw.
Peach had axed me before Thanksgiving what I thought about the idea, and I CANNOT KEEP A SECRET so I had pretty much been avoiding my sister, to not "be that guy" that blew the surprise. But now the rat is out of the bag.
The rest of this will be BRIEF, you are welcome. Long week, lot going on.
I'm thankful this week over.
My son got a job. (car porter, b-the-w.)
Saw a form for "Direct Deposit" in his car. It's the little things. Usually only the little things....
My 4 yr old can, and LIKES TO, get us coffee in the morning. We make it the night before w/a timer and there is no glass container, it just comes out of the machine when you hold a cup to it. Because I broke so many of our previous ones.
My friend is home from a tough week of aggressive cancer treatment.
He feels great.
He looks great.
He's in great spirits.
We've been emailing and texting silly stuff all day, every day (yes, even more than usual) and it's amused and distracted us both. I have no fingerprints anymore, bonus.
|I brought him these rubber feet & he wore them to chemo.|
He told the nurses his feet were swollen. Indeed.
SURE IT IS.
Have a great weekend, y'all!
I apologize if I don't hop around much, lots to catch up on and my phone is on it's last leg. If phones had legs.
I also have yet to find verbiage for the wedding I'm officiating in March. That is COMING UP, yo. I did get a book that tells what needs to happen, and suggests the order/flow of the ceremony, but I'm talking the actual words. That are supposed to be you know, lovey, or something. I'm not that kind of girl, you guys. I do dick jokes, and this is their first wedding! I don't want to mess up their wedding day, in my family you only get a few of those, and your first? Is the toughest.
I do not want to improv that day, because not only am I afraid dick jokes would just slip out, but also if you lived through the 80's it is almost literally impossible to stand before any group of people and not say,
|Right?! from prince.org|
"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life..." and I do not have Prince's hair to pull that off and I have no clue what 'Electric Word Life' even means. Other than forever, and that's a might long time. But I'm here to tell you, there' something else....
See? I'm doing it already.
Would it be rude to just READ from a paper for the whole ceremony? I hadn't really thought this through when I agreed to do it.
I have been keeping up with your multiple announcements and let me be the first to say (here) that that is SO COOL!!!! You are SO COOL!!!!ReplyDelete
HAha, well, we shall see if I can pull it off without blubbering or accidentally swearing or something! I guess even if I do, makes for a great story ey??Delete
It's ten, it's ten, and as quickies go, it's AWESOME :DReplyDelete
You know what, it IS ten! Even though a bunch are the same thing, but hey those Guard Virgins are busy looking up all those 17.3 type rules, so I'm betting I can get away with it.Delete
Wow, what an awesome week!! I had a great few days, too, which was awesome because although I'm normally a pretty damn cheerful gal, I had been in this awful, grumpy-ass funk over the last few weeks. I think there was a collective sigh from the FB world when I announced that I had woken up yesterday back to normal. All of my friends and family were probably sick of hearing me complain about the world and everyone in it--incluiding them--so it was a welcome announcement. HaReplyDelete
We've all been there, Shay. Though it's usually pretty funny blog-wise when it happens to you. I'm laughing WITH you, of course, WITH you. In the safety of my own home where you can't reach me. But WITH you.Delete
Yeah your pretty cool but I helped raise you so I'm gonna take a little credit ;) DFILYReplyDelete
As well you should. And it only took me a few hundred hours and a handful of thousands of dollars worth of therapy, but darn it if I'm not almost a decent human being now!Delete
Lots of good news!!! Well, it sounds like it will be fun to "marry" your sister! And you'll always have a good story to tell about the wedding! There used to be a website online where you could become an ordained minister for free, and my roommate and I did it, so technically I could marry people, although I don't know how I could prove it because I don't even remember what website it was!ReplyDelete
You still CAN request to be a minster in the ULC online. It's not the internet that ordains you, an actual person with the church (they're located in CA) looks over your background and has to approve you, but hey, they approved ME so I'm guessing they don't turn anyone down. If you google "Universal Life Church" right on the home page it says where to click to become a minister. It was free, and pretty quick. I ordered an ID card and a clip badge, and I also ordered the book to help me with the flow of the ceremony. The words? I'm still putting all that together.....Delete
Wooooow, fellow Universal Life minister in the house! First off, congratulations! That's awesome! I officiated my co-author's wedding last year, and it was a raging success. You need any help, tips, tricks, etc. just ask.ReplyDelete
For the record, reading off of a paper is fine. That's what I did. I didn't feel comfortable memorizing a 15-20 minute ceremony. Also, do use humor. You can definitely use that without offending. This was the opening of my speech:
(Stodgy preacher voice) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear testament to these kindred spirits uniting in the holiest matrimony that is... (normal voice) I'm just messing with you. You don't want to sit through an hour of that any more than I want to talk like that for an hour.
I saw that and I'M ASKING!Delete
I totally LOVE that beginning! I already did write a sentence about how we were not going to sit through words like "betrothed" with no ancient rhyme of the married with dead languages to solemnize vows, but I can't even get through THOSE WORDS without stumbling, and that wasn't even in front of a crowd.
just watch the Friends episode where Joey writes what he will say at Chandler and Monica's wedding. I'm sure that will help! LOLReplyDelete
I can't wait to hear your version and I DO hope it includes some Prince!
congrats to your sister and good luck to you!
hahaha I should watch that one!Delete
It'll be brief, and not sure about the Prince.
Thanks! Looking forward to it. Should be funny if nothing else!
I love how most of the time, you complain that you have nothing to write about, and then go on to write yet another witty post.ReplyDelete
I can't believe you get to marry people! How cool is that? You've just gone from 'YOU ROCK', to 'YOU ROCK...HARD!'
Now I've got this strange urge to listen to my Prince albums...
And if the elevator tries to break you down, GO CRAZY.Delete
I'm excited-nervous and really hope I don't start bawling or nervous cacklelaughing, or have sudden onset Tourette's Syndrome. Is that a thing? Meh, it'll be a good story either way.
I always suspected you had a Holy Roller streak in you, Reverend.ReplyDelete
hahahaha "Bless you, my child"Delete
I love the rubber feet.What an awesome gift!ReplyDelete
Will there be audio of you officiating? Because Imma thinkin' I wanna hear it.
I uh, don't know about that. I used to have a pretty bad fear of public speaking, on top of being emotionally invested in this because they're my friends. Every time I try reading some stuff out loud, when I get to the 'love' part, I start crying like a baby!Delete
LOL!! I bet the whole crowd will love you!!ReplyDelete
Thanks. Hopefully I won't burst out crying like I did when I was reading some example verbiage to my husband. And I was just PICTURING the bridge & groom, they weren't even in the same room with me!Delete