And then you don't write it down and you forget.
Because: MOM NUTS.
Then you become a little obsessed, trying to remember everything you've read and blogs you've visited and can't really think about anything else but alas, it's gone. Just like Nemo in the boat off to Sydney, and there are so many other things that need immediate attention and you have to just not care, because there's no Dory that 'saw a boat' and now you can't afford to care anymore and you have to just keep swimming.
Don't you hate when that happens?
Maybe it only happens to me. I also lost not only debit card, but a coat. A whole coat. How does one lose a whole COAT in January in Chicago? It's been -30 degrees Farenheit with the wind chill, so clearly I didn't wear it somewhere and come home without a coat, so where is it? I looked in EVERY room and every closet of this house and it doesn't appear to be here. I texted everyone I visit and called the grocery and Target where I usually shop, no coats. They even asked me, "You think you LEFT YOUR COAT here?" I know, it was a long shot. At this point, I'm just really curious. WHERE IS IT?
But, the show must go on as they say. You pay good money for entertainment here, and that's what you're going to get. And also wild lying. Last week I wrote about the 90's, well a tiny portion of random things I remembered about the 90's.
Thank you to the great people who brought up things I can't believe I forgot, like the earliest giant cell phones that weighed as much as baby. In fact the first phone I had was an extra one my BIL at the time had through his work. It was $11 a month and was for 'emergencies only.' I had no desire to use often, if you spoke on it for more than 2 minutes, not only was your arm tired, it literally got warm, and then HOT. That was pretty creepy. My friend Amy called it "The Baby" and told me she almost threw her back out when she used it. These cell phones weren't a 90's thing, they were available in the 80's, but I didn't have a cell phone until the late 90's. The smaller ones aren't nearly as funny.
Thank you to Clark for reminding me of the slow porn of the 90's and the noises a modem used to make.
Seriously, if you've never heard the modem noise you really need to take 25 seconds and listen to the beginning of this. Let it play as you try to read the rest of this. And good luck with that, the noise is about a biscuit above eagle talons on a chalkboard. Yet somehow we were supposed to be doing work with this noise happening all around us, while waiting the world's longest 5 minutes to connect to the internet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHW1ho8L7V8Right?! Could you work with that happening all day? Also trying to mentally block out a cruel co-worker playing music like "Zombie" by the Cranberries, over and over and over, which became a popular version of torture when I was an office manager. You couldn't complain about it either, because the answer to that was Rick Astley. And that is the song and the CD that would not die.
I'm not kidding. Three young men, two middle-aged men and I really tried to destroy this disc, but nothing we did kept it from playing. We threw it, we stepped on it, we tried so many different things to destroy it and scratch it and it just continued to Rick Roll us. That disc really took a lickin and just kept on ticking. It's the perfect metaphor for the Rick Rolling trick that will never die. After you hear that song a certain number of times, you get this PPSTD. Post-Pop-Song-Traumatic-Disorder. I'd rather hear the modem noise. Hands down every time.
*I know one person who may read this and not know what "Rick Roll" is, so I'll 'splain. Because if you watch it happen, when it's not happening to you, it's really quite funny. It's a bait and switch video situation, where you think you're going to see and hear one thing (say the trailer for Star Wars Episode VII) and then some mean bastard suddenly plays this Rick Astley song and video from the 80's.
Rick Astley, bee-the-dubs, is a lovely ginger-haired gentleman who wrote a catchy pop song in 1987 called "Never Gonna Give You Up." If you listened to any pop music radio station, you heard this song at least 10 times a day. This became one of those earworms that bordered on psychological torture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_b7RDuLwcIYears later, I worked with some sadistic rich people who developed a callous to happiness from having too much money, so the only way they could be happy is by torturing other people. Mostly they were subtle, let's just focus on the small things.
It's okay, I grew up with brothers as I've written about before, so not only did their constant pranks not bother me, I countered them. They did win in the end though. They eventually broke my spirit, once by getting me to volunteer an entire Saturday painting as a "relationship building" exercise.....but wait there's more.....we won a contest at the event that resulted in us winning a luxury box at a hockey game, and then they convinced us that this luxury box we won at our 'team building' event, would go to better use on clients. This meant we couldn't go to the game, but the partners could go of course, because they needed to be there to personally ingratiate the clients.
Nevermind that they could have purchased a luxury box anytime, without even having to cash in any stocks, bonds, or selling a week at any of their summer homes, and this would have been the only time ever the lowly office staff would ever be in such a box, but hey, thanks for being great team players. We'll buy you lunch from the deli instead. Now where's that report I made you stay until 7pm proof-reading, even though you make jackspit and you're a new mother with a baby at home? See, pranks are fun!
Okay, that tangent really got away from me. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, 90's things I forgot about. Like pay phones. I don't know when they disappeared, but humans being the way we are, we took this glorious little weather-controlled booth and filled them with ads, graffiti and urine.
If you were born after 1995, you may never have seen an actual phone booth, and have to GTS (google that sh*t) unless you're a Superman fan.
See kids, the world used to have to communicate by landline. If you were driving around, you had to get OUT of your car to find a telephone. I know, it was crazy. People died from having a cold, BUT we could sometimes find other people to pump our gas for us. Everyone had jobs and you could get to the airport 20 minutes before your flight.
Anyway, pay phones. Some were wall-mounted, often located in the lobby area of grocery stores, libraries, bars, brothels, etc., anywhere you would wait for a taxi or a ride to pick you up. Even more interesting to me? Were the free standing booths.
Fascinating, isn't it? It may be a nostalgia hallucination, or I'm officially crossing over into pre-elderly but this is a beautiful sight to behold for an old lady.
Like a single-stall bus stop. Think of as a Tardis, without the time travel.
These used to be for more than just urinating in. You could make calls, for a quarter in my day, but in our shows and movies calls were only a dime, and sometimes you would hear people say things like "..go ahead, it's your dime." That's where that came from.
Not only could you make calls, call a LIVING operator for free, but as Angel pointed out, on some phones you could even get a CALL BACK. This I did not know. This is her comment, I'm copying and pasting it here because I found it quite fascinating:
"...you would have to find a payphone that would allow a call back (you could do this by inserting your money and dialing the number of the phone you were at. If you got a busy signal, the phone could get call backs. If you got a recording, it COULDN'T get callbacks, AND you lost your money!) Then you'd have to page the person and wait around for them to call you there. But sometimes, instead, they would page YOU back from a payphone somewhere else! And sometimes we would give eachother a code... like if you see a phone number, followed by the number 77, it is me!"
Right?! Who knew? Did you know that was a thing? If I did, I completely forgot. I don't think I ever had any idea, even working for PageNet, THEE pager people. Fail.
It's way too late for us in Chicagoland, where we haven't seen phone booths for quite some time. Even when you would hear talk about one it would be inoperable, just a prop inside a restaurant or dive bar. Universities were rumored to have old wooden ones, with outdated phone books, in less-traveled hallways harder to find than Hogwarts' Room of Requirement. Mayhaps you could only find them if you really, truly needed them.
The word on the street (web) is there are still some here and there, and apparently Manhattan has FOUR, but that article was from a couple of years ago and was about some tracking devices put into the phone booth wall. It could track where people were going by their mobile devices. I can't pretend I'm not intrigued.
In looking for pictures of that, I stumbled onto this picture which shut everything down. I don't remember 99% of dreams and I'm glad because research has shown that listening to someone else's dream is statistically the most boring thing you can hear. HOWEVER I have had I believe 3 nightmares in my life, and one of them took place at the top of a staircase that looked EXACTLY like this:
|In my dream I was stabbed through the cheek at the top of this staircase, that's probably all you want to know about that.|
Time of Death: Monday.
Mayhaps when I have these brain fog days I just shouldn't post.
One last tangent for the road:
This is the world's most famous phone booth, according to one blog post I just read looking for a picture. The Mojave phone booth. Looks familiar from TV, doesn't it? People actually visited it, and protested when they had to take this down. They had to take this down from the noise and litter caused by people VISITING THIS PHONE BOOTH.
The concept was interesting enough to make this a good read. Click here if you're also curious how a phone booth becomes famous: https://jumpingpolarbear.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/the-legendary-mojave-phone-booth/