Things 100 Year Olds Are Tired Of Hearing

The person I was raised to be wants to follow up that title "Things 100 Year Olds Are Tired Of Hearing"
with something like,
"Nothing. They're glad to hear anything at 100!"
So tacky, right? As people are living longer, the idea of 'old' is quickly changing. 100 is the 90. So don't tell a 100 yr old person they look great with complete shock in your voice, or say things like:
"My God I can't believe you're still alive."

You don't have to share that you really hope you don't live that long, or wonder out loud what is the point of living that long. Just get them something soft to gum and listen to their stories, trying to gleen lessons from history.

What am I getting at? Oh yeah, the TToT turns 100! Very exciting! It looks great and is still getting around, with plenty to teach all of us.
Who doesn't love blue cake balls?
Or do you say Cake Pops?
I would like to pre-apologize for that picture. I made it, I'm terrible at those kinds of things. It's so bad it's funny and I'm out of time for anything that isn't doting on my family so I'm going with it.

The Ten Things of Thankful is a blogger experience, kind of like a blog hop except it's not just a place to drop a link like it's hot and get the heck out of there. It's a place to meet amazing people, doing wonderful things in this sometimes dark, cold, lonely world. This weekend is the 100th happenstance of that. 

I wanted to write up something really special, then I remembered who I am so here is what I came up with instead.

I'm beyond thankful to the good people, okay all people (nyuk nyuk) of the TToT. They have made it possible for me to continue blogging through times when it was really hard to do so. Even after I learned I'll never make any money doing this, they made me realize you can actually do things in life without getting paid if they make you happy

For way too long I forgot about that as an adult. Which sucks about adulting, but it's a reality of having to pay bills. Especially in a world where everything you have to buy goes up in price every year, but you don't get salary increases. 

The Ten Things of Thankful is a great practice. Every week, no matter how bad the week, you find 10 things you're thankful for. Some weeks are easier than others. It's the tough weeks, that's when I need this the most. To change my perspective, to remember how far I've come, and how much we have that we take for granted.

If you haven't joined in, try it sometime. Click here to link up. If you don't have a blog, just list 10 things you're thankful for in the comments. Any 10 things, big or small. Some things feel like more than one item, like this list right here. It's worth 10. The SBoR (Secret Book of Rules) says this is okay.

It's very important to take time for ourselves and do things that feed our spirit. That is priceless, and in this time in very short supply.

Thanks everyone, for the reminder.

Thanks Lizzi, for never-ending support and everything you do. 

Cheers and glitter and cake to you, my friend! LOVE YOU.

Aaaand since I saw AmyCake and the Dude do this, I'm totally copying her!
I was tagged for the FOUR questions by Vanessa of Heels and a Tool Box, which if you don't already follow you really should. She's hilarious and this blog actually teaches you real life things, without boring you to death with book learnin. Often I learn and laugh, and what's better than that?

She asked me some questions, here are some answers.

Four names people call me other than my real name:
  • Mom. Mommy. "MOMMMIIIEEEEEYYY I NEED YOU" like it's all one word.
  • Shrimp. My dad's nickname for me. Flattering yes, and also true. I'm delicious with garlic and butter.
  • B*tch. In my family, that's not an insult. Sometimes in life you have to be.
  • Dah-lin'. My husband Alex would come home from work and say "Hello Dahlin" and my youngest caught on and will still randomly say "Hello Dahlin" or say things like, "Come on, Dahlin it's time for books" and whatnot. It's hilarious.
Four jobs I’ve had:
  • Waitress – in an Illinois Bell training facility, so not as many drunk jerks as the public.
  • Receptionist, BEFORE voice mail. I had to scratch people's messages on the side of caves. I started writing about it, I just started the latest installment which talks about how different that job used to be.
  • Customer Service for a pager company. Imagine the type of clients that needed pagers in the 90's. Yeah, not a lot of doctors called us panicked about being cut off for non-payment.
  • Office Manager for the worst kind of evil our country has ever faced: Rich white dudes.
Four movies I would/have watched more than once:
  • Fight Club "The things you own ending up owning you."
  • Reservoir Dogs "Nevermind what you normally would do, just throw in a buck..."
  • Any Harry Potter movie "I solemly swear I am up to no good."
  • Monty Python The Holy Grail "You could have called me 'Dennis'." "I didn't know you were called Dennis, I said I was sorry about the woman thing, but from behind...."
Four books I would recommend:
  • Anything by George RR Martin SONG OF ICE AND FIRE series is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. and I have 3 kids.
  • Anything by Stephen King, especially DUMA KEY
  • Anything by Dean Koontz, especially LIFE EXPECTANCY
  • Anything by Jonathon Kellerman especially DEVIL'S WALTZ
  • and John Irving, haven't read everything yet but A WIDOW FOR ONE YEAR is amazing.
Four places I have lived:
  • Illinois. I moved a lot, they were all pretty much the same: Crowded, horrible weather but lots of jobs and things to do because we're less than an hour from Chicago. The greatest place on earth to live. Except for the weather. And taxes. And traffic.
Four places I have been:
  • California. Lovely, too many cars
  • London. LOVE IT. Want to go back. Also in the city? Too many cars.
  • New Orleans. The music and the food? Amazing. Too many drunks.
  • Florida. Fun place to visit. Too much humidity.
Four places I would rather be right now:
  • See the four places above. ALL OF THEM. Plus Michigan, where my sister's lake house is located. It's a great place to get back to nature, and by that I mean drink in a lake.
  • Also Las Vegas, but only for 3-4 days. That's all I can handle.
  • My bed. Always and forever. 
  • My bathtub. Until I get bored. Or sleepy.
Four things I don’t eat:
  • Kale. It tastes like the floor of a haunted cave.
  • Arugula. It is just awful. I don't care how good it is for you.
  • Tea. I'm sorry Lizzi, but it tastes like ear waxes. Don't tell me to sweeten it with Honey. It's bee poop and it smells and tastes like it.
  • Arby's. How the hell are they still in business?! Seriously. Are they a front for terrorists? That seems appropriate in so many ways.
Four of my favorite foods:
  • Tacos. Forever.
  • Soup. I'm gonna be an awesome elderly person. I'm ready.
  • Hamburgers. Though that may just be bc someone was grilling yesterday.
  • Chocolate
Four television shows I watch:
  • Game
  • of
  • Thrones
  • Daily Show. 
Four things I’m looking forward to this year:
  • My daughter being potty trained. PLEASE HAPPEN THIS YEAR PLEASE.
  • Watching new kids. I'll leave it at that.
  • Lola is starting kindergarten in the fall.
  • Bug is supposed to start pre-school, IF she's potty trained. PLEASE.
Four things I’m always saying:
  • GO TO THE BATHROOM if you have to go. (1 million times a day)
  • It doesn't matter what ________ (other people) do, we do it this way.
  • I'm tired. I really am.
  • I love you. I say it a lot.


  1. Frist!
    At least for the moment...
    This is a hop like no other. For sure.
    There are plenty of good things to do that don't pay a dime or cost a dime. Don't forget it. :)

    1. I will admit this is a long-standing flaw of mine. Under-valuing priceless things. Mayhaps b/c I've struggled to pay the bills, but I am thankful for this reminder!

  2. damn!! thought I could jump to the bottom of the list for a FRIST (ha ha… jump the list for a frist)

    I totally agree with whatever you said, well, because you're a scott! (lol, no, serially…. being from Y Chromia, I am always catching myself, 'oh man! I got to be grateful?!?'… but, as you rightly point out…it's the participation with people of like mind that is the whole damn point.

    I totally agree about the shifting of age brackets and I for one will say, 'thank god for slowly diminishing eyesight, the mirror hardly ever lies')

    1. hahahaha my favorite mirror of the house? The bathroom mirror, which is old and smudgey and covered in toothpaste. I never look as good as I do in there. So it's the only place I look!

  3. Congrats on the Centennial, old-timer! Your witty writing is something I'm thankful for every time I read it.

    1. Thank you, Debra. That's an amazing thing to say. I'm very glad you read, and comment. I appreciate the feedback. And I always get a good laugh reading you, and usually learn something too!

  4. You are funny! :-) I also love a good bath (and of course my bed) and am a Jonathan Kellerman fan. This is only my second week so I didn't know about the SBoR, but that must be why Lizzi told me to link up last week's post even though it wasn't numbered and didn't have ten things. :-) The beginning of this post is a great reminder in this age of "monetizing" (which I am not above attempting) that blogging for its own sake is a Good Thing.

    1. Well, let me be among the first of many to WELCOME you. It's a grand experience, a good practice in life, great people. It's like chocolate for your soul, so much goodness.
      The SBoR is very secret, so secret that no one has ever actually SEEN it, but if you concentrate hard enough you can channel the guard virgins and they will guide you to do the "right thing" which could mean many different things. One such rules states that if you cannot come up with TEN things that week? Your tenth thing can be the face that you're DONE with the list. Another such rule is about the QUALITY vs. QUANTITY of the list, so again if you are struggling for 10 things, as long as the sum of the items is 10 or greater, that counts! It's another thing I love about this hop. You can make it your own, if you really try.

    2. Clark has a good discussion about the SBor/BoSR on his blog somewhere which is fantastic.

  5. I'm not a fan of Kale either. I like my greens tender and mild without the bitter crap. Taco's are a favorite here because Cheese AND Sour Cream!

    1. I told my friend years ago that if I can only be healthy by eating kale, I'll take the chemotherapy. It has to be better than eating kale. Then a couple years ago, a comedian Jim Gaffigan said almost the same thing. So it's not just us. Tacos are the best, my ONE FOOD for the rest of your life if you had to choose one. But I need all the fixins: Yes cheese, sour cream, avocado, tomatoes, onion, lettuce, cilantro, peppers. Now I'm HUNGRY.

    2. as someone who's done both... take the chemo! and bee puke... I hear ya although I do drink tea. London...love it. As far as the books go... the only one I havent read is the first but Im gonna check it out cuz the others were great. Heres hoping for the potty training....

    3. oh WAIT! WAIT! Fozzie!!!! my fav!

  6. You are so hilarious and lovely and funny and I would have loved you for my mom. Lets go to Vegas, except I stay for a week. Yep, One night for every hour I have to spend in an airport/airline getting there. I hope Bug learns to listen to her body soon!

    1. hahaha I could do longer time in Vegas, as long as it's not over 100, or we have access to a pool! I went there a few times w/my husband when he was working. I would just pick a direction, walk and people watch until I was hungry or thirsty, find a cool place to sit and people watch, and then continue. It was pretty awesome. There is always so much to see, so many interesting people from all over the world. You can usually tell when someone is there for the first time, their wide-eyed amazement is hysterical.

  7. I'm new to your blog so this is the first I've heard of TToT...sounds like a great concept, perhaps I'll try it sometime when I'm feeling thankful (or when I'm not...) congrats on hitting a hundred!

    So much to like about your answers. The first one reminded me of Stewie in Family Guy "Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!"

    Fight Club and Reservoir Dogs are two of my all-time faves. And the fact that you dumped on Arby's...and then mention you watch The Daily Show...haha. I caught that.

    I've been saying for weeks "What am I gonna do when Jon Stewart retires?" Watch less TV, I suppose. Also, Jim Gaffigan is hilarious and kale is nasty.

    Alone With My Thoughts

    1. I'm so glad you're hear, I love anyone who catches any of my weird jokes. My 3 yr old reminds me way too much of Stewie, it's unnerving. I love The Daily Show, even if sometimes I watch them a week later. I will miss him a lot. His replacement should be interesting. Trevor Noah is right now not afraid to touch on subjects that other comedians and TV personalities stay away from. We saw that got him in "trouble" so he may wind up just as politically correct as all the rest after enough complaints, but I really hope not.

  8. Yes, combine 'em--that's the best way.
    OK, your comment about Arby's made me think DAILY SHOW!!!! Wonder if she watches that? Who am I kidding, she MUST watch that.
    Then, there it was. I'm psychic.
    Your daughter is three, right? Spilling drinks and wearing a diaper, right? THANK GOD!!!! I live on this street with a zillion two year old boys, and they are ALL (well, some) potty-trained, and when I mention using the potty to my son, he screams and hides. WHY?!?!?! I haven't done any traumatizing, I swear!!!! Why does he hate the potty?!?!? Why am I still changing diapers?!??!?!

    1. haha I do but ALSO there was an old episode of the Simpson's where Homer says,
      "I'm so hungry I could eat at ARBY's" and the kids say "EEEWWW!"
      We always say that when we're really hungry.
      That is the thing about potty training, just like a lot of things, all kids are different. Looking back when they're like 10 or so, the difference of a few months or even 12 months doesn't seem like much but when you're going through it, especially like you say, so many other kids are handling it or have it down by a certain age, it makes you wonder.
      Part of the problem is that at 3, most kids can't communicate effectively. They mimmick words, they say phrases, they learn the right way to get a response they want, but they don't really UNDERSTAND a lot of the words they say, so they can't communicate what their fears actually are. They say boys have a strange feeling when they sit down on the potty b/c of the way their outdoor plumbling is, so a lot of times they are harder to train. It could be a million different things, we just don't know b/c they don't know how to tell us. With my 3 yr old? She wants to go on the BIG POTTY, bc she sees her big sister do that, but she can't get up there by herself yet. When I MAKE her sit on the little plastic training potty, she does well, but she doesn't WANT to sit there. Or stop playing. I know they all get it eventually but it's been a very LONG SIX MONTHS, I tell you! VERY LONG. There are only so many times a day one can scrub feces out of underwear before you just shut down. My number is about 7. After the SEVENTH TIME in less than 24 hours, I just either put a Pull-Up on her or I put her in the bath just I can take a break from the process. If I didn't watch other kids I would just have her train pantsless and have a "Pants Off Dance Off" but I don't want to scare the extra kids I watch!

  9. Joy this is a great post - hilarious. I have a suspicion we could have coffee (or whatever) and have a grand time. Kale tastes like the bottom of a haunted cave??? Best description ever. :D
    The TToT is truly unique and wonderful and many have expressed similar affection for it. It gets you through the tough times and if I start gushing about all the things It's done for me I'll totally hijack your post.
    GLITTER CUPCAKES??? Lizzi MUST see those...
    I am about to embark on the George R.R. Martin series - looking forward to it!

    1. That would be fantastic! Even via Skype. I love the TToT and the people here.
      I will try to make these for Lizzi when she comes to the USA this year. If nothing else, I did find silver and gold cupcake sugar topping.
      You are about to be whisked away to a magical world of amazement. You'll LOVE the books!

  10. Hi, glad to re-meet on the TTofT. Now let me explain about tea. You have to sweeten it and drink it cold. I mean two cups of sugar to a gallon sweet. Then put it in the freezer until you see crystal floating. Then pour it in a glass cup, I mean real glass not plastic. Once you have completed this challenge, then come over and blog about it. I think it would make a great guest post. ;)

    1. Mary, I will do just that! I don't mind iced tea, if like you say it has a TON of sugar and for me? LEMON. But then I think, why didn't I just make lemonade?? and I usually do so my kids can drink it.
      However, I love this idea and that seems like a good post for summer, so I will do just that. I have to get enough tea bags to make a big pitcher, and I'm on it!

  11. Glitter AND cake? You win. I'm out.
    Sometimes (often) I don't want to adult anymore, but I keep plugging on.
    I'm glad you got asked to play the Mustache game! It's been fun (I tagged Vanessa in it, so if you hated it, sorry; if you liked it, you're welcome).
    I love John Irving books. Cider House Rules and Hotel New Hampshire are my favorites, I think. Oh, and Widow for One Year. Oh, all of them, I guess. I have never seen any of the movie versions, however, after seeing just the trailer for The World According to Garp. I don't think his books translate well to movies.
    I love my bathtub, too, although I often fall asleep in there. I wake up when the water gets too cold, then I add more hot water and stay a little longer. And Vegas is definitely a 3 or 4 day max kind of place. Last time I was there, it was so freaking hot that my shoes stuck to the sidewalk when we were standing at a corner, waiting to cross the street.
    Hope that potty training wish comes true....

  12. You brought glitter cupcakes! I can't imagine a more perfect refreshment for the party.

  13. Ha! Love it. I want the glitter cupcakes. I hate kale as well. Yeck. And arugala. Double yeck. Great list of books too.

  14. Sometimes your descriptions slay me. The one about Kale is a classic. I actually choked on the smoke from my vapourlite.

  15. I'm just thankful that I'm not the only one who thinks kale tastes like the floor of a haunted cave (awesome description, totally stealing it... I mean recycling it). Also, as someone whose in-laws live in Vegas, meaning I'm there at least once a year, I agree that 3-4 days is the maximum number of days you can endure that place. After that, the fun wears off and you realize you're just wasting away in a barren wasteland where people like Carrot Top and Criss Angel are still somehow relevant.

  16. You're a person I'd love to party with, hang out with and laugh with.

  17. "I wanted to write up something really special, then I remembered who I am so here is what I came up with instead."

    Joy-to-my-world I have been SO BEHIND what with one thing and another and I still didn't get around all the blogs from last weekend but THIS LINE ^^^ made me laugh OUT LOUD and read it to Vince, who also laughed. And wow....glitter cupcakes for me, and if you make glitter cake for me in Murica and I get to see if my poop sparkles (you KNOW I'm gonna check) or just if I get a glittery tummy or a sugar high (or a food colouring trip) I WILL BE SO HAPPY.

    And also I love you. Actually properly for real because you're awesome love you.

    So there.

  18. Awesome post, Joy. I love your answers. I also don't dig kale and wonder why it hasn't disappeared as a fad, yet! I love your idea of getting back to nature as having a drink in the lake. LOL. I did the 10 things to be thankful only once, so I really should jump on that theme and be more thankful. I do love my life though. I'm so fuckin' grateful for everything I cherish. The little things and the people!