Anyway, we missed it at IMAX to my husband's chagrin, but since I'm not a dude or a surround sound geek, that didn't bother me. The THREE HOUR running time didn't really bother me either. I AM a SciFi/Fantasy geek from way back. I don't have any idea how close to the book the movie was because I read it when I was like 13. I only remembered Gollum.
Adorable. He reminds me of my baby, she's kind of scary too.
You don't really need a review on the movie, it's part of the Lord of the Rings, you either LOVE that shit or you don't. One advantage The Hobbit has over LOTR is that there are less characters to remember.
If you don't like Fantasy, it's going to feel like a long-ass movie . If you do and you're some kind of professional movie critic, it's still a long-ass movie with long, dra-a-a-wn out (blurry action) scenes, and this 3-hour tour [sans Gilligan] doesn't even cover the whole story of the Hobbit. If you are one of those "the movie didn't EXACTLY match the book"
I mean, The Hobbit was a very simple story especially compared to LOTR, I think Tolkien made up the story for his children, not intending to publish it, and they're dragging it out for THREE MOVIES. Because Hollywood.
If you're a fantasy geek and just love the escape of it, you will soak in every drawn-out Middle Earth moment and amazing scenery, Real Movie Trailers calls this a 3-hour tourism commercial. I was totally sporting a geek boner, and couldn't even believe I sat for THREE HOURS without getting up to go to the bathroom. That might be a record for my bladder. I feel like I still don't even go three hours during the night without getting up to pee, and I haven't been pregnant for almost 2 years.
And if THAT lovely little poem to my bladder didn't make you have to pee, here is a scene from Rivendell:
Anyway, this Fantasy dork was in middle heaven. The story and the whole movie are lighter than LOTR and yes, it's drawn out, but ANY movie I can see at night and stay AWAKE for the whole thing, should get some award just for that.
There is something magical about fantasy, losing yourself in the movie and the story. There are however a couple of things that might pull you back to reality for a minute to wonder about. Like the dwarves, they have no real home and are always on the move, yet they have really elaborate hairstyles and creative facial hair. WHERE do they style themselves? They must style each other, no mirrors and not a lot of water holes to look at themselves in, yet this is one:
But how do they cut THESE BANGS so STRAIGHT? With a sword?? I can barely cut mine this straight with modern SCISSORS. How did they do it? Sword barber?
That seems really fricking dangerous, to have a sword or even a dagger that close to your head. These guys clearly live on the edge. They're trekking through mountains, sleeping outside, braiding each other's head and beard hair, must be constantly too because it is NEVER messed up.
When I braid my kid's hair, and it looks like a homeless person's dread locks in about AN HOUR. These guys fight mountain trolls, fall down from trees and whatnot, are outside swinging swords and *voila* perfect plait of braid. Maybe there is some magical quality to troll spit. Paul Mitchell should send some scouts out to Middle Earth.
While we're talking about it, this movie also sated my hunger for creative facial hair. I seriously love handlebar mustaches, and I'm pretty pissed that with all of the STUPID trends that go in and out, why can't these come back in style??? You see them here and there (mostly in New Orleans and Renaissance Fairs right now) but I want this shit MAINSTREAM! Not just in Movember. Spread the word! Please and thanks.
Another of my (perhaps unhealthy) obsessions is with adorable older men. Bing again:
I love this man, he was on Live! with Kelly & Michael, and he said when he was waiting to come on, they told him to 'feel free to Tweet that he was here,' so he opened the window and yelled "Tweet!" but nothing happened.
In conclusion, movie-wise don't over-think it. Enjoy the magic, the fantastic facial hair and be happy. I certainly was.
For actual analysis, you can search [insert name of search engine of choice as a verb] and you'll find over a million reviews, and if you do look for the one by "A Tolkien nerd" it's good, and he has a great quote about this movie needing an editor like Gandalf needs pipe weed.