As I posted on Facebook yesterday, it was obvious there had been some sort of awards program, during which Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter acted like a postal, perverted pop star.
If you're wondering who he is, he's the mullet-totin' Achy Breaky Heart song guy, prompting several jokes about his daughter breaking his heart, causing it to "blow up and kill this man." (Lyrics to his one-hit wonder.)
I wasn't surprised. I don't follow the music world or almost anything modern, but I know that she was a Disney kid (star of that channel's show Hannah Montana,) and now she is a teenage pop star, developing her own 'brand' while no longer under the strict contracts of Disney. Combine that with the teen years and child stardom, I expect a lot of rebellion out of someone in those conditions.
All things considered, I actually think she's done quite well, from the little bit I know about her. I am not aware that she's been forced into rehab, or even gotten so much as DUI, I haven't heard of any bar fights or facial tattoos.
Recurring words in my newsfeed yesterday were "whore" and “outrage” over her behavior. Curiosity got the best of me and I googled the video. Here is a link if you haven't seen it.
It will make you cringe, but it's worth watching, it's definitely different. You have to give it that. I loved the large, creepy teddy bears. Anything that makes me feel something, even if I feel creeped out, is worth the time. Did you see the movie American Beauty? That gross movie was the same way. Weird and disturbing, but it made you actually feel something, unlike so many other movies, which barely keep me awake.
In her performance, Miley is dressed like a typical modern pop star, barely any clothing, possibly starting a new trend of "under-buns" wherein her shorts are way too small and you can see almost half of her hams.
|Buzzfeed compared her hams to the backend of a turkey.|
Good, bad or indifferent, I remember the under-buns more than the music, no buns about it. She doesn't mind being the butt of jokes. You really have to ham it to her wardrobe people, her cheeky look just might be the new side boob, making parents everywhere cringe and shake their fists at the television: "This is crazy! In my day, the worst thing was Madonna, she just wore a cone bra and didn't shave her armpits!" I mean, it's always going to be something. Elvis' pelvis, The Beatles hair, everything about Black Flag (my high school fave,) every generation shocks the one before.
I feel like this is a good a time to quote the very intelligent Henry Rollins of Black Flag, in one of my old favorites, the song Family Man:
"Family Man, I want to crucify you with nails from your well-stocked garage, family man. You're such a man when you're putting up your Christmas decorations, first one on the block! Family man."
I can't imagine what my parents would have thought about that song. Yes, this was one of my favorite things ever in high school, and I never once crucified anyone. I even grew up to have my own family, even if our garage is not well-stocked and we're never the first ones to have holiday decorations up.
Back to Miley, keeping in mind your parents' opinions of your music when you were younger, does her performance really shock you? If so, that was it's purpose.
Do you think this broke her father's achey-breaky heart? I don't.
The last time people were "outraged" by her behavior, she was singing about Molly, the drug flavor of the summer. Did people just forget about Brian Wilson? And the myriad of other drug-obsessed pop/rock stars I can't even start to mention, or we would be here all day.
I think she is doing what she's supposed to be doing, and while watching her twerk gives me major douche chills, it entertains young people and shocks the older generation, it gave everyone on social media, television and radio something to talk about, so mission accomplished. Young people can come together in a "Yeah, EFF the boring people" kind of attitude, and the parents can shake their heads in disgust and all agree, this is NO role model for their young future booty-shaking girls, and so on.
Her father may have (had to) internally cringe watching her grind and lick stuff, but I'm sure he gets what it's all about these days: Creating a buzz. She's an expert. I don't like any of her music that I've ever heard, but I know a lot about her. Why? She creates buzz.
I think she was home-schooled in Pop Star Training, and among many others, given courses like:
Ozzy Osbourne: The Early Years, followed by
Ozzy Osbourne Speaks: Why Too Many Drugs Are Bad
NWA: Shocking People Gets Them Talking
Michael Jackson: No Such Thing As Bad Press
Britney Spears: Pre-Plan For Your Comeback
Courtney Love: *This* Far Is Too Far
Let's hope she really remembers that last one.
I can't even imagine her dance instruction. I don't know anything about it, and I'm so old I don't get twerking at all. It just looks yucky to me, makes me want to yell at kids to turn their damn music down. If there is a dance school where you can major in Creepy Tongue Antics (is she related to Ace Freely of Kiss?) and minor in Crotch-Grabbing, Miley's the valedictorian.
She's clearly twerking hard, twerking 9 to 5 and making it twerk. Last one, when she reaches the commercial jingle portion of her career, she should invent a snack called Beef Twerky, a giant finger of beef. The commercial hasn't even been made yet and it's already disgusting.
As a good friend pointed out, she & I do love a good celebrity rebel, but they make a crapton of money, so I don't feel bad laughing at/with them, even if I'm not invited while they are laughing all the way to the bank.
This is the entire list from Buzzfeed of 22 things Miley looked like yesterday: