As I posted on Facebook yesterday, it was obvious there had been some sort of awards program, during which Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter acted like a postal, perverted pop star.
If you're wondering who he is, he's the mullet-totin' Achy Breaky Heart song guy, prompting several jokes about his daughter breaking his heart, causing it to "blow up and kill this man." (Lyrics to his one-hit wonder.)
I wasn't surprised. I don't follow the music world or almost anything modern, but I know that she was a Disney kid (star of that channel's show Hannah Montana,) and now she is a teenage pop star, developing her own 'brand' while no longer under the strict contracts of Disney. Combine that with the teen years and child stardom, I expect a lot of rebellion out of someone in those conditions.
All things considered, I actually think she's done quite well, from the little bit I know about her. I am not aware that she's been forced into rehab, or even gotten so much as DUI, I haven't heard of any bar fights or facial tattoos.
Recurring words in my newsfeed yesterday were "whore" and “outrage” over her behavior. Curiosity got the best of me and I googled the video. Here is a link if you haven't seen it.
It will make you cringe, but it's worth watching, it's definitely different. You have to give it that. I loved the large, creepy teddy bears. Anything that makes me feel something, even if I feel creeped out, is worth the time. Did you see the movie American Beauty? That gross movie was the same way. Weird and disturbing, but it made you actually feel something, unlike so many other movies, which barely keep me awake.
In her performance, Miley is dressed like a typical modern pop star, barely any clothing, possibly starting a new trend of "under-buns" wherein her shorts are way too small and you can see almost half of her hams.
|Buzzfeed compared her hams to the backend of a turkey.|
Good, bad or indifferent, I remember the under-buns more than the music, no buns about it. She doesn't mind being the butt of jokes. You really have to ham it to her wardrobe people, her cheeky look just might be the new side boob, making parents everywhere cringe and shake their fists at the television: "This is crazy! In my day, the worst thing was Madonna, she just wore a cone bra and didn't shave her armpits!" I mean, it's always going to be something. Elvis' pelvis, The Beatles hair, everything about Black Flag (my high school fave,) every generation shocks the one before.
I feel like this is a good a time to quote the very intelligent Henry Rollins of Black Flag, in one of my old favorites, the song Family Man:
"Family Man, I want to crucify you with nails from your well-stocked garage, family man. You're such a man when you're putting up your Christmas decorations, first one on the block! Family man."
I can't imagine what my parents would have thought about that song. Yes, this was one of my favorite things ever in high school, and I never once crucified anyone. I even grew up to have my own family, even if our garage is not well-stocked and we're never the first ones to have holiday decorations up.
Back to Miley, keeping in mind your parents' opinions of your music when you were younger, does her performance really shock you? If so, that was it's purpose.
Do you think this broke her father's achey-breaky heart? I don't.
The last time people were "outraged" by her behavior, she was singing about Molly, the drug flavor of the summer. Did people just forget about Brian Wilson? And the myriad of other drug-obsessed pop/rock stars I can't even start to mention, or we would be here all day.
I think she is doing what she's supposed to be doing, and while watching her twerk gives me major douche chills, it entertains young people and shocks the older generation, it gave everyone on social media, television and radio something to talk about, so mission accomplished. Young people can come together in a "Yeah, EFF the boring people" kind of attitude, and the parents can shake their heads in disgust and all agree, this is NO role model for their young future booty-shaking girls, and so on.
Her father may have (had to) internally cringe watching her grind and lick stuff, but I'm sure he gets what it's all about these days: Creating a buzz. She's an expert. I don't like any of her music that I've ever heard, but I know a lot about her. Why? She creates buzz.
I think she was home-schooled in Pop Star Training, and among many others, given courses like:
Ozzy Osbourne: The Early Years, followed by
Ozzy Osbourne Speaks: Why Too Many Drugs Are Bad
NWA: Shocking People Gets Them Talking
Michael Jackson: No Such Thing As Bad Press
Britney Spears: Pre-Plan For Your Comeback
Courtney Love: *This* Far Is Too Far
Let's hope she really remembers that last one.
I can't even imagine her dance instruction. I don't know anything about it, and I'm so old I don't get twerking at all. It just looks yucky to me, makes me want to yell at kids to turn their damn music down. If there is a dance school where you can major in Creepy Tongue Antics (is she related to Ace Freely of Kiss?) and minor in Crotch-Grabbing, Miley's the valedictorian.
She's clearly twerking hard, twerking 9 to 5 and making it twerk. Last one, when she reaches the commercial jingle portion of her career, she should invent a snack called Beef Twerky, a giant finger of beef. The commercial hasn't even been made yet and it's already disgusting.
As a good friend pointed out, she & I do love a good celebrity rebel, but they make a crapton of money, so I don't feel bad laughing at/with them, even if I'm not invited while they are laughing all the way to the bank.
This is the entire list from Buzzfeed of 22 things Miley looked like yesterday:
One one hand I want to say thanks for posting it, I missed it last night.. But on the other hand.. WHY!??!? I couldn't make it past the first 40 seconds of that video.. are you kidding me Miley? lolReplyDelete
hahaha that was the consensus yesterday. But again, EVERYWHERE you looked, listened and read, EVERYONE was talking about it!Delete
I know! I woke up the next morning and it was literally every other post on facebook. Then saw a snippet of your post and was like "ok I give in, I'll check it out"...Delete
Wow that is quite a picture of her ass - I myself am a little jealous. I could care less what she does, as long as my daughter who is 8 doesn't watch or idolize her. Since she doesn't and she is doing it for all the PR she got today I say, Well Played Miley Cyrus. I still think her music stinks so no matter how much ass she shows, or humping she does on stage she still is a subpar musician.ReplyDelete
Agreed. On all of that. But one day your kid WILL listen to/watch someone you find horrifying, and it will all turn out okay.Delete
I don't see how it can be surprising, if they aren't waving there bit around, in rehab, or making ports, they're killing themselves. It's insane, but to eat their own I guess. Personally I wouldn't want to wear shorts that oozed my butt cheeks, I could only imagine the horrific discomfort her vag is feeling.ReplyDelete
Yes, I'm with you on never wanting to wear anything remotely like that. Mayhaps the future will see her as the spokesperson for Vagisil. Or envelopes or something highlighting that creepily long tongue.Delete
The kid I babysat back in the day was a Hannah Montana superfan, so I watched quite a lot of the show. She was a cute kid and one of the lesser annoying Disney shows. Maybe Miley has to go a little crazy to try to find her own identity and shake off the identity of the wholesome Disney kid she was when she was younger! Sometimes people expect kid stars to never grow up.ReplyDelete
Agreed. She was cute, I'm sure she will be again one day. I feel like she's trying really (too) hard to shake off that Hannah Montana image.Delete
She can't sing. She can't dance. She looked like she was in serious need of a tan, and that dumb "bathing suit like thing" looked terrible, and her shorts looked so uncomfortable MY lady parts twinged in pain. Obviously last night was not a "family show". Now, I need to go in search of a retina transplant because mine have been seared by those horrific images.ReplyDelete
Hahahahaha. I'm with you on the music. Even when Brittney Spears was cray cray, her music still had a halfway decent beat, for pop music.Delete
I'm pretty sure that huge gaping canyon between her ass crack is where the hand goes. And this, folks, is why you never let the puppet away from the puppeteer, because crap like this happens.ReplyDelete
And to think, it was actually possible for Billy Ray Cyrus to create something worse than Billy Ray Cyrus.
I didn't realize horrible hair decisions were hereditary. Interesting.Delete
You're right, she's getting all of the adult attention that she's always wanted, just not in a positive way. I'm sure her video will have an insane number of hits from lame people like myself that didn't catch it on tv last night which is also what she was going for. There was no absolutely no 'entertainment' value to her performance. The song stunk, and her moves were (if possible) even worse. This is one singer who's songs will not be allowed in my home. I do think her beef twerky commercials will someday be a hit though! ;0)ReplyDelete
I mean, those dancing kids need to keep up their energy, right? Grab a Beef Twerky!Delete
Kudo's to Miley! And what a stroke of genius to have the former "good girl" duetting with Robin. I hope he didn't get any cuts when she rubbed her bony butt up on his junk. Good times!! Thanks for sharing, I've been hearing everybody spazzing all day about it.ReplyDelete
hahaha "cuts." I feel like his Beetlejuice suit was probably thick enough.Delete
Watching that video made me feel like an old fogey. I'll gladly join you on a porch somewhere and yell at young people to turn that cockamamie music off. But what really got me is that Miley sticks out like a sore thumb... to me she looks awkward amid her accouterments, and not in the "I'm the center of attention and a badass" way. But really, not surprising. You do have to admit she can grab a crotch with the best of them!ReplyDelete
PS- LOVE the buzzfeed comparisons! Hilarious!
I'm with ya on the porch, Ma. I know I'm out of touch, but I don't get her. At least Brittney always seemed kind of cool, her music had kind of a beat, if you like that kind of thing. She goes out of her way to let us know she "doesn't care" what other people think, but if that is true, why are you TRYING SO HARD to be shocking, for the sake of shock value alone? WHO are you trying to convince that you're not a kid anymore? WE get it, you should too. I can't wait until she finds some sort of her own style, instead of just shock value.Delete
Well we allll know where on stand on this. I could talk about it for DAYS. I mean from the top of her head to the turkey butt. All of it. Of course, I can talk about anything pop culture for days. I love it all. It really is the source of my entertainment and for that I thank Miley, her ridiculous father, the people at Disney for keeping such a stronghold on her for so many years that she combusted into this on a night I watched. Mostly I think Selena Gomez should go console that hottie Liam...he's lonely and single now. You're welcome Selena.ReplyDelete
As annoyed as I quickly get by pop culture, it is often entertaining to make fun of. I think Selena is a lesbian, didn't she date that Justin Beiber girl??Delete
I am so weirded out by her butt picture. It looks painful. I did love the Buzzfeed comparisons though!ReplyDelete
Yes, I hope they're more flexible than they appear. Those are like everything else she does, for shock value.Delete
Gross. I loved American Beauty. Not at all comparable to this trash. Gag. And why is her tongue so big? Do you think tongue implants are in?ReplyDelete
They might be now! That thing is pretty impressive. Lengthwise I mean.Delete
Well, she definitely sent the Twitter universe on fire, along with every PR and paparazzi and celebrity website out there. She might be a little crazy with this desperate cry for attention but she knows its working, and we have all looked at it, commenting, and fueled the fire. Actually, I thought she was pretty funny on Two and a Half Men. She can act a bit and had good comedic timing. Her music is not to my liking.ReplyDelete
All I can say is thank god I am a metal head because the pop music scene really is sad.
All good points. It's been decades since I could stomach pop music.Delete
I would totally buy the crap out of some "Beef Twerky."ReplyDelete
Important to fuel your body, when you're asking it to dip down low and move like....a pole worker :)Delete