2013-08-31

The Fleshy, Fowl Underbuns Award

Recently Lizzi, writer of the brilliant Considerings blog, awarded me with the coveted "Golden Sideboob Award" (YES, there is a picture with that link!) Don't be too jealous, say the word in the Comments section of either blog, and we will gladly award you as well! I love that picture with all my sideboob. And at my current bra size that's a LOT of sideboob, pal.

Inspired by this award, and recent musical video events that had all media channels, especially the imaginary and long-sought-after blogosphere, totally titilated, I birthed the idea of the 'Fleshy, Fowl Underbuns Award.' Click the link if you have blissfully been living under a rock (and do you need a roommate, btw?) and missed the whole Miley Cyrus achy, breaky, herky, twerky debacle. 

Behold the Award! I apologize if you recently ate any turkey.
Things that make you go: "WTF"
I award this to Lizzi, and of course all such awards come with rules. I am the biggest rule breaker around, so no curse will be put upon you if you fail to follow these 'rules.' 

As this young woman will one day look back on the video and/or pictures of herself in this outfit and think "WTF" I ask you to look back at any WTF moment in life. Not necessarily something you did wrong or regret, this young lady started a virtual PR viral shark-nado, inlcuding recording a "Twerk" single the same night as the VMA's. I'm not a fan, but good for her. She didn't make a raw-turkey's-ass of herself for nothing.

The only rules: Share a WTF moment, and award another blogger if you so chose.

My WTF moment comes with no such similar success, just a great big "WTF" indeed. One evening, obviously after imbibing some sort of alcoholic beverage, I had the brilliant idea to throw hardened tortilla shells covered with hardened cheese, in the catching-and-throwing-disc fashion. Seems innocent enough? It looked hilarious, we all had a good laugh and as the saying goes, it was all fun and games until someone almost lost an eye. Me.

Here is a picture of me, after being struck in the face with a time-hardened, cheese-covered tortilla, that sat out in the air long enough to move it from foodstuffs to weapons grade tortilla. These suckers get SHARP!  WTF, right?
Me, circa early 2000's, don't mind the hair, pointing to THE WEAPON.
Be careful when playing with your food. I imagine these will no longer be allowed on aircraft soon. 

Yes, that is blood on my eye and forehead. This simple, soft flour tortilla broke the skin and left a lovely scab, which I had to explain to everyone...that it was caused by a flour tortilla. So much laughing. I did hear a lot of funny stories from people with similar facial injuries, including some forehead beer can scar story from my boss at the time.

So, Lizzi, here is your Fleshy (slightly fleshy, I mean eat a cheesy tortilla or 2, Miley) Fowl Underbuns Award! Let's here your WTF moment. 

20 comments:

  1. Great Award idea! And "the whole Miley Cyrus achy, breaky, herky, twerky debacle" -- LOL, now that's good writing.

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    1. Hahaha thank you! Do you have a WTF moment you could share?
      My only regret is not using the word "jerky" but I almost did in my original post on her. I suggested she promote Beef Twerky, a giant finger of beef jerky.

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  2. No tortilla throwing, check!

    And love the award idea...a WTF moment...eesh I am sure there are lots of us with those.

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    1. It was sharp enough to break the skin! Do you have a wtf moment to share Felicia??

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  3. Unlike you, I won't hold my breath for your response. Have you recovered from that, btw? But I am at the edge of my seat....

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  4. I'll remember to add hardened tortillas on the list of things that may cause me great aggravation or inconvenience in the hands of my offspring.

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    1. Hahaha and they may also serve as weapons if you need them. Just in case that third date doesn't go as planned for example ;)

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  5. Well it's good to know my house is already equipped with weaponry in case of a burglary... Though the thieves may go down from gut wrenching laughter at me armed with a tortilla. Win win for me no matter what!

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    1. The element of surprise is the best weapon in any arsenal.

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  6. Haha that is a very creative idea for an award!

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  7. Excellent award idea!

    And remind me to never, ever play with flour tortillas. I'd be the dumbass who'd do that with a SOFT flour tortilla. Because I'm *that* good. Or dumb. Depending on how you look at it.

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  8. Love the new award! I didn't know that flour tortillas could be so dangerous! Didn't your mom tell you when you were little to never play with your food?? :0)

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    1. Nope, I don't remember her ever saying that. She DID show us how to slide down the stairs on a cookie sheet though!

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  9. Excellent award idea! Even if that pic which I have seen a thousand times already still makes me nauseous. Poor Miley. Poor chicken.

    Also, I must say even beaten and bloody you're quite a hottie! ;-)

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    1. hahaha it's got to be the blood, I hate this picture of myself but I love that you're into wounded chicks. We'll get along just fine :)

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  10. There are so many things wrong with you and I love them all.

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    1. Thank God someone does. You don't even know how much weird I hold back, I don't even know how NOT to hold it back anymore. Hopefully when the kids are bigger.

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