2013-09-12

DIY Weird Halloween Costumes

I like Fall the season a lot more than Fall the verb. The season is significantly less painful for me. It doesn't put me in a dog fight against gravity, and the air is less humid in the Midwest, making it much easier for asthmatics to fulfill their constant need for air to breathe.

Like gold, Fall can never stay, Ponyboy. We usually have maybe 2 or 3 weeks in Chicago in between "way too hot" and "way too cold" and during that time? It rains. A LOT.

One of my favorite things about Fall is Halloween. I like to make my costumes, mostly because I'm cheap but it sounds cooler to pretend I care about being original. Paint it any color you want, it's usually easy and entertaining.

My favorite DIY costumes from the past are:

Static Cling. Easy. Safety pin socks and dryer sheets all over, tease your hair into sticking straight up.

The Latest Drugged-Out Celebrity. So easy. Roll out of bed, smear extra makeup around your face, maybe some dried oatmeal. Bam. I was Uma Thurman one year post-O.D. from Pulp Fiction, complete with a syringe sticking out of my chest. That was a great one because at a party I went to, someone was Uma PRE-O.D., lots of pictures which I cannot find. 

One year I went to the Goodwill looking for 70's clothes to be Dana Plato (from Different Strokes, yeah it was a long time ago) and I stumbled across a rainbow sweater. I already had cheap Goodwill roller skates at home, so my brain
from zazzle.com
immediately screamed "Tootie!" ala Facts of Life.


Tootie involved the rainbow sweater, jean skirt, roller skates, fake braces I made with a piece of wire, and headphones around my neck. I will look for that picture, no idea if I'll find it.

I did find a rando picture of my sisters and me, all donned in various dresses from Goodwill.
Moe as Cleopatra, Binky as Cher, Me (NO bueno blonde) as Marsha Brady


As Tootie, I sported major costume wood wearing roller skates everywhere on Halloween, so for the next few years I went as a Roller Derby Girl. I wore whatever jersey I could find, shorts and shiny tights, pig tails, arm and knee bands and we had fake (and some very real) wrastlin' matches in bars in the Chicagoland area. I still have a tiny scar on my wrist.

Tornado Victim. Similar idea, roll out of bed, mess up hair, makeup, clothes, attach random outdoor things to your body. The weirder the better.

Charlie's Angels. We found tons of 70's clothes at Goodwill, Farrah'ed our hair and rolled on the blue eye shadow. My mom is pictured here dressed as Boz. She really nailed it. She walked around with that big, clunky plastic phone all night. From left my sisters, then me, then Boz.
Sister Moe is Kate; Sister Binky is Farrah, Jacquelyn is me; My Mom IS Boz
Flatware. My son wanted to be a FORK for Halloween in 1st grade. He wore gray shirt and sweats, we cut a fork shape out of cardboard and spray-painted it silver. Done.

Any Costume "In A Car Accident." Take any costume and make it look like you were in a horrible accident. A group of us were a wedding party that had been in a car accident. We found an old wedding dress, a man's suit w/bow tie at Goodwill, black bridesmaid dresses and basic dressy pants/shirts for the guys, then glued things like broken champagne bottle and glasses, bloody flowers, all over us. Gross but effective.

In a pinch, these are easy:

Ninja. Wear all black.

CIA Agent. Whatever dress clothes you own, say you can't talk about your costume because it's "Classified." 

Jake From State Farm. Also could be a Target Employee. Beige khaki pants and a red shirt. You could add a phone for Jake.

I never said these were good, these are just easy.

Grapes. Purple balloons taped to a black garbage bag.

Person in bath. Build a cardboard tub, wear beige shirt/pants, attach little white balloons as bubbles.

Zombie anything. Go to the Goodwill, whatever costume you can find can become Zombie Cheerleader, or Zombie Cowboy, etc. 

Elvis Skeleton. Black outfit, spray paint bones or glue plastic skeleton and add tons of sequins and an Elvis-looking wig.

I recently pinned this and a few others to my Pinterest:

Cereal Killer. Glue mini cereal boxes all over you with fake blood. If you have time, you can attach small fake knives, but not necessary. There is a picture if you click "Pinterest.". 

Dirt Bag. aka Pot Head.
ideas.coolest-homemade-costumes.com
Get the largest bag of potting soil you can find, empty it into your backyard, wipe out the bag, duct tape the arm/neck holes, put a flower or a flower pot on your head and maybe wear some green jeans/pants/leggins/tights. 

Google "Easy DIY Costumes" and have fun. 

Keep in mind WHERE you are going, how long you will be there, how much you will be walking, will you be sitting, how much do you realistically think you'll be drinking, etc? 

That grapes costume is great, until 6 beers later you have to take that huge garbage bag off every time you have to pee.

Don't ever forget to make it COMFY.

20 comments:

  1. OMG I love the shit out of this. I, too, and clumsy, and PALE, so I know the pain of mystery bruises.

    And FYI you shouldn't land on your hands; you could break your wrist. Always try to land on your forearm. Old martial arts training that I had to teach to my clumsy spawn when he was only two.

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    1. Ah, THAT is the secret! I usually can't actually make myself fall any certain way, and now I'm just afraid I'll hurt my ass again. I definitely need to build some muscle, if my personal trainer WiiFit is to be believed, muscle will help my balance. My WiiFit age (based a lot on balance) is like 87. I'm actually only 41. AND I did that test sober. Just sad.

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  2. Tuck and roll, girl, tuck and roll. And love your costume ideas!

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    1. Hahaha the skates were SO much fun, until we decided to hop a fence to save time. IN roller skates. Not smart. Otherwise they were a blast.

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  3. Jake from State Farm! I love it!

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    1. Last couple of years everyone was "Mayham" which is another easy one.

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  4. This is awesome! I was going to write about falling in love, but then it was so cheesy in my head. So I went with what I knew it was going to be about.

    Also I love the costume ideas.

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    1. I wanted to do something different, too, but how much can I say about falling down?? Surprisingly not that much :)

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  5. I LOVE that your mom was Bosley for you guys!!! BEST addition to a Charlie's Angels costume ever!

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  6. Don't get me started on falling. I mean I've fallen down the stairs to the basement TWICE. It's a gift really. Ummm and I'm totally all about the Tootie costume but this year? Orange is the New Black, girl. Some khaki or orange scrubs. Win!

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    1. I wish I could find that picture of me as Tootie, it's fuuunny.
      Clumsy girls are adorkable.

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  7. I love these. How about Flo from Progressive? Just get a white shirt, a white apron and a headband. Then get a name tag and write “Flo” on it, and put on the most disgustingly red lipstick you can find. Bonus points if you can speak in a shrill, grating voice that's like nails on a chalkboard!

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    1. That WAS a good one, but I have seen about 67 pictures of my friends and friends family dressed as Flo and also as Mayham from that other insurance company. It IS a quick easy, DIY costume though.

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  8. Holy crap I love this! Halloween is my fav holiday and you just gave me some great ideas.

    You made a hot Marsha Brady too!

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    1. ha you are a terrible liar. But thank you for trying!

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  9. I love love love how you started with the falling down theme and then did "This Just In" to make it about the season. That part alone made me crack up. Also--my best friend went as Marsha Brady one year with that same wig--or a very similar one. She still cringes every time she sees the pic. So I try to post it on Facebook every year around Halloween. But the wig looks good on you, I think! A lot better than it did on her! Haha

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    1. hahahaha you sound like an amazing friend! I, too, cringe when I see this picture, and pictures of myself with "caramel" (BLONDE) highlights my hairdresser once forced me to get. NOT GOOD.
      I'm glad you liked it, I wanted to take the falling DOWN concept further and literally just ran out of things to say so I switched to the season. I hoped it wouldn't be too kooky. Then again, is there such a thing? :)

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  10. I still say "Life's rough all over, Ponyboy." Love the Dirt Bag the most. I also love the static cling idea. Genius. The idea of going as flatware is hilarious, but why the hell would any kid want to be a fork for Halloween? I thought for sure you put him up to it, but I guess not.

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