TToT: Sexy Storms, Appliances and The Floppy Spider of the Sea

It's been an overwhelmingly busy week. One of those "just try to get through this day" but every day kind of weeks. I'm thankful for things we have now like dishwashers, washing machines, and frozen dinners even though.....

Followed directions very carefully

This was yesterdays dinner. It kept us alive, but barely. If I were a food critic, I would call this dish
"GLUTEN for punishment" 
and really let me have it, with info about preservatives.

Thankfully, being a mom, like being a blogger is a job without a paycheck which means I CAN'T GET FIRED. Wait, am I really thankful for that? Yes, yeah ok, yes I am. And I'm super thankful that our insurance covers mental health, we started with family counseling this past week for all the teenager stress, and we'll see where it goes from there. I hope I can still post to this blog from whatever rubber room they lock me up in, we'll see how the wifi is.

I'm thankful to the moon and back Tinny, my son, started another job this week. He already quit. However, at least it means he's still actively LOOKING and APPLYING to jobs to supplement his part-time gig. This was door-to-door sales-type stuff. It sucked but he's a kid that needs to learn things for himself, so this lesson: Done. And I didn't tell him that his quitting means I blessedly have a few days where I don't have to run him to TWO JOBS, this last one never knowing when/where he had to be picked up, but he always had to be picked up AFTER the busses stopped running. Barf.

Kaley Cuoco (not sure how you pronounce that but when I heard a radio DJ talking about this article, the sounds he made trying to pronounce it sounded like whale song. I was waiting for Dory & Marlin to 'just keep swimming' by.) 

Anyhoo, the blonde from Big Bang Theory did an interview with some shiny magazine whose name escapes me, and she apparently said that her decision to get breast implants 10 years ago was quote "the best decision of her life." The DJ went on to feel sad and sorry for her for about half an hour, and I found the whole thing hilarious.

I'm sure she cares about your pity, being so busy finding banks big enough to cash her giant TELEVISION show checks, with a drive-through window for riding her unicorn. 

Second, good for her for talking about and not trying to be shady. Do whatever you have to do, gurl, get you some bewbies if that makes you a better you. I would donate mine if I could, they're a huge waste in my life. I've blogged before about needing a "Give a boob, take a boob" tray. Take mine, please.

Third, if she were an average everyday very young girl and not a Hollywood star, I might feel that she should look within to make life better using her mind, but she's in a very shallow industry in a very shallow country, and she did something quite a lot of people in that industry do, and you can't argue with the results. 

Before                                           After
Yeah, I know. Know what I can't? EVEN.
Pity need not apply. Pity can have a bus-full of seats.
from herinterestcom

I laughed my hams off when my husband told me years ago that he thinks plastic surgery and water bras are "false advertising." This is coming from a man who wears green colored contacts, ladies and gents. It's all marketing, we do what we do when we do what we do. Make-up, high heels, hair dye, hell even figure-flattering clothing, let he or she who has not used any of these cast the first Spanx. 

But they can't because the Amish don't read my blog. I'm not all about carrier pigeons or whatever. One thing at a time.

This post is part of a hop, that's more than a hop about Ten Things of Thankful. Click there to link up and tell us anything you're thankful for.

Last week one of the hostina of that blog hop, Lizzi of Considerings blog took a secret mission and wrote a story to fill in the blanks of a dream I had. I only remembered a few seconds of it, and she did SUCH a great job! I ate up the story, and it left me wanting MORE. She's a genius with fiction. Here's the link, I apologize for when you get to the bottom and you want to read more. That's what good writing does. Not my writing, where you start skimming to get to the bottom and you're exhausted and like "OH thank gods that is finally over!"

Speaking of my weird ramblings, I did a super weird post (yes, even for me) this week about my toaster.

Yeah, it's weird

Whatever you're thinking, it's probably worse. That's a link if you're not easily offended by the objectification of sexy household appliances.


Last week my bloggy friend, writer of Jeneral Insanity blog, which I HIGHLY recommend, posted this video on Facebook. I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats. I'll watch it again and again. True facts about the octopus, the floppy spider of the sea.

I'm thankful for the Spring weather we finally had, two whole beautiful days of partly to mostly cloudy with no rain, which means of course now we must PAY. This weekend's forecast calls for thunderstorms, hail and "damaging winds" because as I've said before, the Midwest is Mother Nature's bastard stepchild that she secretly hates. 

Peruse this phallic weather map if you don't believe me:

This johnson brought to by Lake & McHenry County News Facebook page

We're going to get SO SCREWED the weather forecast contains a giant penis.