Drink Recipes. Because I Can.

I went to a martini making class on Saturday, because THAT is my classy life. I wore my monocle and had my driver take the Rolls. 
from funnyjunk.com
Meanwhile back in reality, right after this party was a line dancing event at the VFW, where we all donned plastic cowboy hats. They had free beer and wine so I had a super good time. I think. Open bar is the recipe for  sketchy memories.

Speaking of recipes, when I mentioned the class some people expressed interest in the recipes. I thought I would share the 3 most popular drinks from the class. I left out the common martinis, because there are a number of search engines that work equally for everyone.

“The French Martini was created by the Chambord liqueur company for a world wide promotion….This is what liqueur and spirit companies need to do when creating cocktails.”
French Martini
2 oz Vodka
½ oz Chambord
2 ½ oz Pineapple Juice
Back a shaker full of ice and add all ingredients. Shake or stir*. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.
* Shake to give the drink a nice light texture, pineapple juice froths nicely.
It was seriously delicious. If you’re like me and don’t like to eff with the martini shaker, just mix everything together with ice. My drinks NEVER get watered down by ice, because I drink them too quickly. That’s class right there.
This next one I don’t ever picture doing, especially because you have to either muddle cucumbers (no thanks) or soak them a day ahead of time. As Sweet Brown would so eloquently say “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
from https://www.facebook.com/SteampunkSteampunk
The recipe he used yesterday called for simple syrup, but 2 of the women said the sugar didn’t go well with the recipe, so here is one without the sugar.
Cucumber Martini from epicurious.com
1 1/2 cups gin
1 cucumber (about 9 ounces), cut into 1/3-inch-thick slices, plus 6 thin slices for garnish
2 tablespoons (or more) dry vermouth
Ice cubes

Mix gin and thick cucumber slices in pitcher. Cover and chill overnight or up to 3 days.
Strain gin, discarding thick cucumber slices. Pour half of gin into cocktail shaker. Add 1 tablespoon (or more) vermouth, then fill shaker with ice. Shake vigorously; strain into 3 glasses. Repeat with remaining gin and desired amount of vermouth. Garnish with thin cucumber slices and serve.

Strawberry Balsamic Martini from globalchefs.com

Balsamic as in vinegar. I know, but a few of the women FREAKED out over how good this one is. I didn’t try it because it has vinegar. I refuse to put douche in any of my body holes, especially my mouth. If you like balsamic vinegar, apparently you’ll like it.
1 ¾ oz Belvedere vodka
1 oz simple syrup (sugar/water)
Squeeze of fresh lime juice
3 strawberries, hulled
¼ oz balsamic vinegar (2 small spoonfuls)
Muddle the strawberries with the balsamic vinegar (the better the vinegar, the better the martini will be), simple syrup and lime juice. Add the Belvedere and ice. Shake vigorously and strain into chilled short martini glass. Garnish with half strawberry.
If you’re like me you may or may not even bother pinning these recipes, they make flavored vodka in every flavor now, Southern Comfort adds to anything and makes it delicious, and beer is a one-step process.
But, if you’re having a party for a special occasion and want to impress people with fancy drinks, give these a try and <<finger phone>> CALL ME.
I have one last recipe, not a martini. It is a more simple recipe, I tried this old timey drink at a charity event last year, it is very refreshing and different. The web site calls for you to garnish with an edible flower. Hilarious.

Floradora recipe from drinksmixer.com
1 1/2 oz gin
1/2 ozfresh lime juice
3/4 oz raspberry liqueur (Chambord)
ginger ale
Build the gin, lime juice and raspberry liqueur in a highball glass filled with ice. Top with ginger ale, garnish with a wedge of lime and an edible flower, and serve.


  1. They have classes for this? Isn't that called Alcoholics Anonymous?

    "It's not alcoholism if we're learning something!"

    I need to try the Floradora. That sounds more up my alley. I don't like that dry olive-flavored type of martini.

    1. I'm not a dry martini guy either, probably because I'm not a guy and wasn't born in 19-dickety-six.
      Floradora kicks ass. One of those things you're not sure you'll like until you try it. You can always add more Chambord to make it sweeter, or gin to make it ginny-er.
      It was some deal where a bartender came to their HOUSE and put on the class there. Cool concept, but there were like 20 broads to one bartender, you don't have to be a mathologist to compute that's a bad ratio. There was too much waiting in between drinks, and throwing around of "ounces and quarter ounces" at drunk people.
      I've definitely been to worse classes though.

  2. LOL, I'm so glad I'm not the only person who thinks "douche" when presented with the opportunity to drink vinegar. ;-)

    And I'm sorry, but I also will not be putting anything in my mouth with the name DORA in it. We are infused with enough Dora as it is at my house.

    Thanks for the break down - I still think it would be fun for you to teach us this in person - or we could all just sit around and drink gin.

    1. hahaha I'm all about that! The sitting around and drinking of booze!
      You could change the name of the drink to the "old timey-tini" b/c that's what it reminded me of. It's really good.

  3. Thank you for visiting my blog! I'm your newest follower :)

    1. Thank you! I hope you don't mind my FOUL MOUTH.