|Found on Etsy, all sold out!|
"They were made at the company we worked for. Dads dept printed the label and my dept glued it on the paddle."
It's strange, and now quite pleasant, for me to think of my parets as young, working together, or any time they actually got along. I don't remember a time in my life when they didn't fight. They always had separate bedrooms as far back as I can remember. Obviously there were plenty of times they got along (they had 5 kids,) but my brain doesn't seem to remember that far back.
Anyone else remember Fanny Paddles?
This week I wrote a guest post, that's a link if you want a laugh at teenagers' expense. I don't normally do guest posts, because of reasons, but it went fairly well. I wrote about REAL crappenings in my life, my least favorite subject, whatever you call what my son is going through. Thankfully the situation isn't getting any worse, we're doing things. I wrote some things about how I'm motivating my teen. People came, read and commented. I felt like a real blogger. For a couple days anyway.
Speaking of REAL bloggers, this is part of a new age movement to turn all the garbage the week has thrown at you into Ten Things of Thankful. Click hErE to join in.
I'm totally thankful I found this HEEEELARIOUS video of someone talking about my fave Game of Thrones character, Tyrion. I'm Chico, Tyrion is The Man. If you're not caught up on the show, there are SPOILERS so you may want to sit this one out. Also if you don't like SWEARS or HILARIOUS knee-slapping laughter with a side order of madcrazy joy and happiness, then you shouldn't watch...or read anything on this blog.
"....if you don't watch Game of Thrones, I don't know what in the criminey F^*# is goin on with your life...and your strength of character."
"Tyr-EEE-ON is the Mutha-F__in' truth."
I'm subscribed, send me all the issues/videos of her talking every minute of every day.
I mean I am going to live longer, kidding about the real actual bad news, which is not going to shock anyone:
I need to live a more healthy life.
I know, I can hardly believe it either. You should have seen how shocked I pretended to be. An Oscar-worthy performance, but I didn't submit my performance to the academy. If they snub Leo, they'll snub me too. Jerks.
They sent me a list of (*audible gasp*) low-cholesterol foods, and suggested...*fanning myself* exercise. Seriously. Can you imagine? That goes against everything I stand for, and the whole philosophy behind Comfytown. My shelf life will be considerably dicey until I get my cholesterol down a little, and activity level up. So I do apologize in advance for all the swearing and bad moods you
|Oh Twitter, I can tell you anything. Mostly b/c my tweets are almost all ignored.|
to at least
"Elderly Physical Therapy Patient."
For starters anyway.
Don't worry, I won't be posting obnoxious workout selfies and movitational vomit. Maybe just funny 'action' selfies, walking while tweeting and/or holding a beer. Come ON, I need some motivation.
I'm thankful to the moon and back for my 20 yr old basement treadmill, that's twen-ty, not two, the longevity secret is hardly using it. I can't afford a gym membership right now, and our weather is bi-polar: either South Pole or North Pole.
It took me from 9:00am until almost 3:00pm to log a whopping total of 30 minutes on the treadmill on Friday. If you have small kids, you know.
|The view behind me on the treadmill, BOTH kids wouldn't stop playing and throwing toys onto the treadmill|
Unless you can also afford a gym membership, and/or daycare, nannies, or are some super-human workout obsessed goddess like Maria Kang.
|This is the poetry you're missing if you don't follow my Instagram|
I was thinking about Maria after this week when Michael Jackson's Xscape album dropped. Yes, in case you're wondering Michael Jackson DID die 5 years ago. He hasn't let that stop the music.
I don't know if you remember Maria Kang, she's the "Fit Mom" that pissed off millions of regular moms with her photo of herself and her ripped abs straddling her 3 kids with her (obnoxious) motivational message:
"What's Your Excuse?"
I don't have issue with her, I can ignore a LOT of obnoxiousness, but I was so ready to Kickbox Ultimate Fight her to the Death this week. Or at least tell stupid jokes with her in them.
Even more entertaining are the comments below this video on YouTube, a sneak peek at the recently dropped album.
A new Godzilla movie is out, and I'm so thankful people keep making these crazy movies. I don't care if they're campy or corny, bring it. I've never been a fan of reality anyway.
Action movies are my favorite, and I especially love all things fantasy, comic book, and super over-the-top crazy characters. THIS GUY looks amazing. I cannot WAIT to see this!
In 2-3 years when it comes to our $2 video store.
Speaking of our crazy weather, Friday morning Chicagoland had SNOW in certain areas and in the forecast, causing my entire Facebook feed to be put on suicide watch.
Snow in May sucks, but at least we don't have wildfires, like they're currently having in San Diego.
And we will probably never have a Firenado.
You guessed it, that is the combination of Fire + Tornado.
You graduate the Fire Academy, it's your first gig, you're all excited and gussied up in your fireman costume, you arrive at the scene to see THIS?! A TORNADO of freaking fire? Oh no, sir, no thank you. I quit. I'll be talking to Flow from Progressive about selling insurance in a safe, boring cubicle under florescent lighting if anyone needs me, thanks. Peace out, homies.
This might be awesome in a horror movie, but in real life? This is terrifying. I hope no one is badly injured, and the air quality is not as bad as they expecting, with winds changing from over sea to over the land.
I'll just be over here quietly shivering in ComfyTown SHUTting all of my UPs about a little snow.
This has to be 10 things. Probably more like 30. Sorry.
"Wanna pizza bagel?"
That sounds a lot more funny in a bird voice.