ComfyTown's Children

So you know who we're dealing with, these are my (not always super) Comfy kids.

Tinny

We don't call anyone or anything by it's actual name in ComfyTown. Everything has a nickname, I mean e-HEVerything. Cars, trees, electronics, and yes, people. My oldest was dubbed Tinny by his younger sister, for no apparent rhyme or reason other than she was 2 and it was cute. Like all the other nicknames, it just stuck. He's a teenager. I know. <<gulps her drink with brown liquor>> I knew it was coming, but you never think it’s going to be as painful as everyone says. Surely not MY sweet son, yes yours too Shirley. 

If you never fight with your teenager, one of you is doing it wrong. I won’t get into details. I don’t want to make anyone who doesn’t already have kids remove their own reproductive system, or parents of young children suicidal. Teenagers are fun, full of life and think they’re indestructible. Same as we were. Remember how much trouble we were? Knock-knock, it’s Karma and that bitch KNOWS you’re home.

Tinny will be an adult soon and I just keep focusing on that. He’ll be society’s problem soon enough. [Insert smiley emoticon so they think I’m kidding]  ;) It’s very hard for me to let him make his own choices (mistakes) and he is stubborn so I warn him, advise and then try to help him fix whatever goes wrong. I know he won’t be a teenager forever, it just feels like it. He'll do fine, parents want the best for their kids but of course can't do everything.

He’s chock full o’ awesome, creative and really funny, loves his family and he’s already the kind of person you like to have around, for so many reasons. He's like every teenage boy, with longish Beiber hair and baggy pants. He changed me and my life for the better in ways I can't even articulate at this point. He's always had his own way of doing things, and he has always re-HEALLY pushed to the edge of his boundaries. And pushed and pushed. The Force is strong with this one. I could handle it when he was the only one, now....um....well, I have other kids. Let's talk about THEM.

Lola

Lola saves the DRAMA for her Mama. And Daddy. And anyone else in the area. Yes folks, that is her REAL nickname. I know, open book over here. Just putting it all out there for you. She will be 3 this month. She's lovable, funny, and kind of pathetic. She has an amazing memory, and she’s usually very happy, unless something doesn’t go her way. Then you see the princess of all Drama Queens. I’m not sure if she’ll ever be diagnosed with any kind of actual mental disturbance, but her emotional roller coaster was inherited from me and when it mixed with my husband’s Vulcan genes, it mutated and spiraled out of control. I'm over the moon happy that she is Daddy's girl. When he's home, I'm practically invisible. Phew!

She is reduced to tears by so many every day things.
Just a few examples include:
• Shampooing her hair. Every. Single. Time. Oh Laws no, not the hair. M-O-O-N, that spells Don’t Wash My Hair, Tom Cullen. [This is much nicer than how we USED to tease her before she learned to talk.] I let it get pretty greasy before I take on that battle.
• Vegetables, we put them on her plate, she finds a different way to get them OFF without eating them. Sometimes she just says "Here Daddy, you eat it" and nicely puts it on your plate, sometimes it’s a Defcon 5 meltdown. I have PVSD. And they don’t make a pill for that. I checked.
• Flushing the Toilet. Our toilet is loud and industrial-strength, though. My cousin claims if you flush WHILE sitting on the toilet, you’ll get a free enema. We eat lots of fruit and flaxseed so I haven’t needed to test that yet. I’ll let ya know.

She's a lot like the brunette Honey Boo Boo child, Miswestern version. 




I guess that makes me June, her mama:




Meh, could be worse. Here's a guy who is addicted to Honey Boo Boo. This has nothing to do with us, but I found this looking for Honey Boo Boo pics and it is pretty funny. 

Bug

What IS IT about that THIRD child?? Baby Bug just turned 1, and EVERYONE wants to put this baby in the corner, but she won't stay there. Her nickname tends to change but her first nickname was Bug. Then Buggie, Bug-a-boo, Boog; then Bitey when she was teething; Nightmare for the night screaming stage; and lately I've taken to calling her Vlad, for Vlad the Impaler, famous brutal European leader and vampire, for her biting and nocturnal reign of terror.

Her personality will change, let's all pray, but so far she's a destructive bully, and a pretty big jerk. I know, all babies can be demanding, but she has a special brutality to her. She bites, pulls my hair, and seems to enjoy destroying anything she can find. If you're carrying her, she makes every effort to grab everything possible from any surface and rip it apart. Her hobbies include shredding paper, biting, and breaking anything she can reach, and climbing to reach anything out of her reach. 

When she's done with something, or just disinterested, she has to THROW it down with such force that in the case of her cups, the mechanism that makes it spill-proof dislodges and vomits liquid all over the floor. If you pick it up, she'll cry to have it again, only to whip down again. Nothing like her older sister, she will put herself into crazy dangerous situations to reach something new to break, her favorite is currently our lamps. She reminds me a lot of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, with little hair and big eyes, she can be very sweet or terrifying in seconds. I adore her, and fear her, and try to never leave her out of my sight. My precious.