Momspirational Tag: ME ME ME

Dang I was tagged. No, not graffiti this time, a “Who the Hell Are You?” blog post, from Mom-spirational blog. This seems right up my alley, since those words are the EXACT name of my 2nd ever blog entry here.

It started with Jenn at My Daily Jennism and she’s pretty awesome, so why not keep it going. Plus I was threatened chain-letter style so what the fudge. They are questions about me, my favorite subject. I’m one of the coolest girls I know.

My job is to answer 25 easy peasy questions – then tag people. 
1. Where were you born?  I was born a poor black man. Wait, that’s Steve Martin. I was born in Chi-CAH-go, and those TV Chicago accents? Are terrible. Very few people actually speak that way anymore. Only old timey chaps from “over by der.”

from zimbio.com
2.  Were you named after someone?  I was born on Christmas Day and my name is Joy, so you guessed it. Regis Philben’s wife. 

He’s my real dad and his wife said she could forgive him his indiscretion if my mom named me after her. Well well well.

Also? In case I have to address this in a court of law, my Grandmother may have heard the song at church and sang it to my mom on the phone when I was born. Now I’m here to tell you all about accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Avon Representative.

3. How many children do you have?  Three. That I know of but I was pretty slutty at stages of my life. No regrets. I do have 3 kids, and one of them is actually kind of nice. She’s young though, it might just be a phase.

4. How many pets do you have?  One. Dumeril’s boa constrictor. He’s about 5 feet long now. Very sweet and docile. He sleeps with the baby. (Obviously not really. He is deathly afraid of the baby.) This picture is him 3 years ago, he's bigger now. Under that log on the left? Is his shedded skin.
This is our snake in his cage, doing his yoga

5. Your worst injury.  Birth. I swear I have never been the same. 
Oh and I did break my ass once. I fell down the stairs and landed on my tailbone. Turns out they can’t put your whole ass in a cast so there is not much you can do, except sit on a damn inflatable donut, take pain killers and never have your ass be the same. This was over ten years ago and I STILL have a bad ass-day sometimes. Maybe it was a good thing, though, because before that? I could SIT for a looong, looong time. I mean, I don’t wanna brag.

6.  Do you have a special talent?   You mean other than sitting? (Who is asking the questions now?) I can kick my husband’s ASS IN at the carnival game Whack-A-Mole. He is super smart and competitive, he beats me at EVERY game in the world except Boggle and Whack-A-Mole. Now he won’t PLAY those with me anymore. Hrrmpff! Wanna play?

7.  Favorite thing to bake.  Cookies, even though I have to make a double batch so that some may actually make it to the oven. Kids birthday cakes, mostly because I’m cheap (they’re not always good but if I let sucking stop me, I would never do anything.)

8. Favorite Fast Food.  Always had a Taco Bell thang. Not just when I’m drunk, but especially when I’m drunk.

9.   Would you bungee jump? I don’t think so. Everybody has a price, but I would have to be paid a lot of money. A friend did this over water, and painstakingly described the process of continually SMACKING his whole body into the water, being ripped back up, hurling back down to SMACK his whole body into the water, over and over and over. I can’t imagine doing this over concrete would be better.

10.  What is the first thing you notice about people?  Depends on the person. If it’s THIS person in the picture, I’d say his jaunty hat.  I love a good hat.

from dbsmyth.com
In general, I remember the way people make me FEEL. If someone is super sexy but mean, I don’t want to spend time with them. 

If someone is very smart, but makes me feel stupid, I want to find what makes them insecure and feel the need to prove their intelligence, then systematically break their spirit. 

If someone has an amaze-balls handlebar mustache? Chances are they are going to make me feel as giddy as a schoolgirl.

Whatever and whoever you are, think about how you treat people and how that makes them feel.

11.  When was the last time you cried?  Friday night. And all the damn time. Every five minutes. Over-tired, stressed out, overwhelmed, don’t have the Three Kids thing figured out yet. Friday I once again lost, among other things, my driver’s license. Yeah, I’m THAT idiot.

12.  Any current worries.  Too many. I could fill the internets. Money, disorganization, laziness, depression, my horrible memory. Did I leave the iron on? Just kidding. I never use the iron.

13.  Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.  Coffee, milk, water w/MIO or a little bit of juice. I wish Beer, but it makes me too tired.

14.  What’s your favorite book? Geek Love by Katherine Dunn; The BFG by Roald Dahl; and Cruddy by Lynda Barry. They’re SOO GOOD. Pin them, add to them to your list(s).

15.  Would you like to be a pirate.  As a LARPer or on the internet, yes. In a play or for Halloween, Hayall to the yes. Real life? I’m land locked.

16.  Favorite Smells.  Garlic, GINGER (obsessed,) fresh cut grass, new baby, anything being cooked by my husband. And kind of? Bleach. It means something is clean (finally.)

17.  Why do you blog?  I crave adult interaction. I like to have a creative outlet. I need a place where I can vent, swear and let the MEANer side out without feeling guilty about it. It builds up like a tea kettle. My mind fills with junk, writing some of it down clears it out a little. I don't have a lot of time, but I get down what I can  when I can.

18. What song do you want played at your funeral?  “Let It Be” and/or old timey jazz, that music has always made me feel very nostalgic. However my family has a saying “Kiedy wy jesteście martwi wasz osioł nie jest szef” (copied from http://www.poltran.com/pl.php4)   It’s Polish, in English it means “When you’re dead your ass is not the boss.” So whatever my family picks. I would guess "Superfreak" or 70’s/80’s punk music or 90s grunge b/c that was the modern music I liked.

19.  What is your least favorite thing about yourself. My feet. I have really ugly feet. Other than that, I’m Fun on a Bun. If there is something I don’t like, I take steps to change it. I struggle with my weight, but if I bothered me? I would work out more. Or throw down a salad once in awhile maybe. Why don't I do that more?

20.  Favorite hobby.  Reading and hanging out w/family/friends. Playing board games when I have time. I love to play Harry Potter Trading Card game w/my husband. (Did I not mention we’re dorks?)

21. Name Something you’ve done, you never thought you would do?  Play Harry Potter Trading Card game. Almost every single thing I’ve done since marrying my husband. He’s making me soft. One specific example: I only wore dark, gothy colored clothes before and listened to scary music, but he likes pink and bright colors, and happy music. I don’t know how he got me to cave, but between me and my TWO daughters my laundry is: Light color clothes, Dark color clothes, Pink.

22.  What do you look for in a friend.  
Momspirational, the lovely lady who tagged me, answered with SOLID GOLD. She wrote:
“Honesty.  Sense of humor.  Non-judgmental.  If I have to act different to be around you – I would rather be alone.” WORD. 
I can forgive some of those things if you are SUPER BIG FUN. I like that in a person.

23.  Favorite Fun things to do?  Games, Cards, Travel, Binge Drinking. Haven’t done those much lately, we’re in the Baby stage, which is awesome, lately my fave thing is SLEEP.

24.  Pet peeves.  Judgmental people, narrow-minded thinking, mixing of church and state. When my kids don’t SLEEP at night. Arugula. It tastes SO BAD to me.

25.  Whats the last thing that made you laugh?  Check my Facebook page for a play-by-play. Some are weird thoughts that are too long of a story to explain, but earlier today: Mike Rowe, of Dirty Jobs fame. He had a long story on his personal Facebook page about drinking coffee then running. I’m sure you can imagine. If not, I posted it on my page 2/25/13, it’s pretty dern funny.

Okay Now for the Hard Part – Tagging Others.
If I tagged you, lets find out who the hell you are. If you're a reader, please click these links to read about the  wonderful bloggers I tagged, they are amazing. 


  1. I absolutely LOVE this quote:

    "They’re not always good but if I let sucking stop me, I would never do anything."

    That is awesome stuff right there!! Thanks for tagging me!!!

    1. That is pretty much my motto in life. I DO suck at a lot of stuff, I'm clumsy, impatient, don't always follow directions, but I like to try new stuff so I just wing it.
      Usually the first time (first few or MANY times) I do something, it's COMICALLY bad, and what do I do about it? Post it on Facebook for the world to see. Failing has pretty much made me who I am. Still a work in progress, but always trying :) and ALWAYS laughing at myself! That's why I like your blog, it's not all "My life is perfect" and you have a great outlook about the HUMAN part of like. Like kids missing the bus :)
      I love your Facebook page and your blog!

  2. Well, you deserve it, and I gave you another ... http://crapnoonetellsyou.blogspot.com/2013/02/parent-bloggerswe-are-cult-and.html

    1. Oh my, here's a chance for me to give my Oh-So-Dramatic well-rehearsed yet SUPER DRAMATICALLY SURPRISED acceptance speech:
      "Omigod" <> "I just can't believe it! Lil ole me?! Couldn't be!" <> "I didn't prepare a speech or anything, buuuuut I would like to thank these 1,500 people: My kids, my husband, my laptop......"

      I will work on my assignment at the baby's naptime. Barring some unforeseen surprise that having 3 kids and watching an extra collicky baby can throw at you!