|It really IS a beautiful city, despite these shenanigans. Photo by KM Photography
found on blog.myheritage.com
and sell sickeningly sweet green soda called Green River.
Is that just a Chicago thing?
Not sure, but we do love to color everything green.
Bars dye beer green for St. Patty's, and it seems to me it would be easier to just have green glasses designated for that time of year, but what do I know about running a bar? That would be a badonka-doozie of a horrible idea financially and for my poor already overworked liver.
2. #Greenvember (we should make this a thing, use this hashtag every time you see something inexplicably green) means:
Spring is coming! Soon.....ish. It WILL snow again. Tomorrow. It's snowed in April, not that long ago, buuuut soon! March is always better than Feb-blow-ary, always.
Right Mr. Happy, not-at-all-creepy-looking Turtle? Right.
|I will melt your soul with my death eyes. from imFunny.net
wait, can we still call it Fat Tuesday?
Gland Condition Tuesday
Thyroid Problem Tuesday
Whatever. I can say any of them, as a fat person. Look it up. It's one of the many advantages of membership. That and:
4. Stretchy clothes. You never feel uncomfortably full in stretchy clothes, and that confidence is dead sexy.
Speaking of that, being Polish.....well, my heritage is Polish, *I* am as 'Murican as Apple Pie-flavored-vodka infused bacon mayonnaise pannini ice cream sandwich spread on pizza burgers.
Anyhowdy, my people always get excited about Paczki (pronounced "poonch-ky") Day, I just like saying it, and speaking of that I heard this 'joke' on the radio:
How do you get "poonch-key" from "p a c z k i" ?
Take her out to dinner first.
You get it or you don't, lost in translation thing, but Paczki Day is universally good.
Some call it "Fat Tuesday" or as I call it, Tuesday. The indulgence before Lent.
I don't play Lent anymore because I'm not 7, or in a plaid jumper being told my every natural-normal-human thought makes me a filthy sinner, but I do play Paczki Day. You can indulge in anything from booze to King Cakes, complete with plastic baby hidden inside. Legend has it the finder of plastic baby Jesus will have good luck for the rest of the year. After you fix that chipped tooth, that is. (Hint: You can ask them to put the baby Jesus on TOP, or leave it off.)
Paczki are like donuts2.0. Talk to Google about a bakery near you, they are usually filled with delicious creamy-sugary filling, and you may have to order or reserve some if word gets out.
5. Especially look for "drunken paczki" which combines a few of a my fav-o-rite things. It means the filling and/or frosting is made with booze. A booze and dessert two-fer. Like a double rainbow without hidden meaning.
|RIGHT? from wzzm13.com
It's our family tradition on Easter to drink Blue Moon Beer with orange wedges, except for my brother who doesn't like beer, which is fine, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to call him a tulip, because: Brothers.
|Do these jelly beans in my noseholes make me look drunk?
My niece and I, Easter 2010 or '11
My sisters and I usually get stinking drunk and act like assholes. Well yes, that is any holiday, but on Easter we drink Blue Moon. I will say this has lightened up a little bit for me since I added 2 more small children to the picture.
I should probably mention without further ado, and this is chock full o'ado, I should let anyone curious know this is part of my favorite not-so-secret community: The Ten Things of Thankful Community. Click here to join the fun at Considerings blog!
I'm especially thankful this week, and this could have been a list in itself, but the teenager:
Found a job! and there's more...
7. It's somewhere near and dear to his hear, the golden arches! My son would eat their McFood like Chad Johnson if he had the choice, and soon enough he just might.
|I love this weirdo. Ocho's Twitter
8. He helped get the baby ready to go, and we even got there FIVE MINUTES EARLY! I took a picture of my car clock and Instagram'd it. That's huge for him lately.
9. My beloved, adorable 2 yr old has entered her Screaming Stage. Every day, every diaper and clothing change, putting socks/shoes/coat on, she RUNS like Forrest Gump and screams the whole time like a bonnie wee banshee. She's the toddler Mariah Carrey. It used to make the 4 yr old cry, but now we smile and laugh and say "Oh, she's so silly!" I'm thankful for that, and that these stages go by fairly quickly, and that she's not twins :)
10. You didn't think we were going to go a whole week without weird facial hair, did you? I've gotten some... intimidated feedback on beards, so we're heading just North to Mustache Town.
|Just a little mustache wax
|Nothing intimidating here
These cool cats don't have any extra X's, daddy-o, just some creative fur coloring and maybe some 'stache was.
P.S. Can a sister get a LITTLE credit for not doing "Women with Beards" photo montage because yes, that is a thing but I didn't show pictures.
But if you're curious: http://metro.co.uk/2014/02/17/sikh-woman-ditches-the-razor-to-embrace-her-beard-4307719/
I did get a kick out of Disney Princesses with beards. Yes, that there is a link to it.