2014-03-08

Learning the Hard Way

I seem to learn everything the hard way. I could probably write a whole separate blog called that but since I hardly post here, why start another blog? Make it an ongoing series?

Then my dome immediately cries:
"Don't make it an official series, you'll never follow up with another post in it."
Then another voice says:
"So what? Running a blog means making and following or NOT your OWN rules."
Then another voice says:
"I'm hungry."
Wait, that last one may have been one of my kids.

Anyhoo, the great thing about having smallish/newish blog (you didn't know I was Newish, did you? I don't even look like it) is hardly anyone will see my grand declarations and even less people will actually call me out on it. Lizzi might call me out on it, she's a good friend like that, but if she does it will be for my own benefit. Probably.

Here are a few silly things I learned the hard way in the past few weeks. Some I may have already known, but clearly not well enough so as not to repeat the mistake. Again.

1. When making pancakes, or probably anything with flour, when the recipe calls for liquid and you ADD fruit that is not in the recipe, guess what? Yes, the batter will be more liquid from the fruit. Duh.

2. Yes, there IS a difference between baking soda and baking powder. Why did I think for even one minute they were the same? I'm blaming "Hypothyroid Brain Fog" which I read about on the internet, so it must be a real thing. Here is what happens when you make "simple" oatmeal cookies with baking soda instead of baking powder. You birth Oatmeal Cookie Bark and there is a reason that is not a thing. It's a pain in the hams to eat it.
NOT A THING NOT A THING NOT A THING NOT A THING
3. When you're making a cake for a special occasion, use a trusted recipe from a person you know, OR do a trial run BEFORE the big day. This is TWO CAKES, according to a freaking recipe on the internet.
Happy Birthday! This looks like pancakes! NOT PANCAKES
I literally Googled "Easy birthday cake" and I followed the exact recipe. My sister mentioned something about types of pans. Up, I give! 

4. Thankfully I know myself pretty well, I had back-up boxed cake mix we were able to bang out that day and I had done a test run of the decoration on TOP that my daughter wanted, HOWEVER of course I used all of the black icing (for the outline of the face) on the test cake, and did not purchase another for the actual cake. It turned out fine, Lola turned 4 and she wanted a "Randall cake" from Monsters Inc., she loved it, we loved not spending $50 on a bakery cake, so s'allgood. 
NOT....THAT BAD I GUESS FOR SOMETHING I DID
Those are edible eyeballs all around the side and on top and bottom, the border is cross-cut marshmallows, just like in his mouth, to look like monster teeth. Whatever, she's FOUR.

5. This is the kind of crapola I would normally post to social media, so I'm thankful Facebook has been greedily suppressing business page posts and driving me to Blogger more. 

6. I'm thankful I got TWO drafts finished up enough to hit "Publish" including this one, and one I started last week about my being okay with getting older. And Lamer. And yes, a little teensy bit wiser. From aallll the learning the hard way.

7. I'm thankful we're feeling better after a couple of days of 2 toddlers having a gross stomach bug. They bounced back pretty quickly. I talk a LITTLE bit (not gross) about it in the post I got up today.

8. So glad their dad and I haven't gotten it too badly yet. *knocks wood metaphorically*
My husband even bought me this Vitamin B12, after suggesting I get a Vitamin B shot. Yep that was a hint. I'm so old-lady tired lately. 

I was thankful, even when he said:
"Ask me what the B stands for!" He's not wrong, I immediately took TWO.

9. Thankful Lizzi encouraged me to bang out this list, even if just this once I may not be able to hop around as much as I'd like, because everything else in life gets put on hold when you have sick kids. It's a glorious Snuggle-fest, 
The baby kept playing w/Lola's hair and she didn't even fuss about it!
but Comfytown is a gross pig sty now, even worse than usual. 

10. Thankful my husband isn't making me feel about all the gross messiness, and he even took them AWAY today to play so I could take a nap. It's the ONLY reason I'm awake at this moment! Not for much longer, but it's 10pm and that's my witching hour if not for naps.

This is a quick but legit (Lizzi said so nyah-nyah) entry into the greatest blogging community possibly of ALL TIME, the Ten Things of Thankful. Click here to join, think of ANY 10 things you're thankful for and let us know! They don't have to be impressively bad Pinterest baking fails!

24 comments:

  1. Totally legit! Your cooking mishaps look hilariously awful. Sorry!

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    1. I know! My family does get a pretty big kick out of my 'efforts' and I feel like I can't be the ONLY person who does this, so I post it. I try not to let sucking stop me from doing things, otherwise I would never do anything!

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  2. Anyone ever suggest you try something besides baking? ;)
    That was supposed to be a cake, huh? Wow. The Randall cake looks good! The things we do to make little kids happy...
    Sorry to hear your kids are feeling poorly. The cuddles are nice, but you hate to see them miserable. Hope they are back to normal right quick and I hope, too, that you and your husband don't fall victim to the same bug.

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    1. YES! My FIL offered to BUY her birthday cake! He's awesome, but I'm really hoping to one day be able to handle this more easily. Learn by doing? Hey, a girl can hope! Ha.
      They are almost 100% healthy again, thank you, they bounce back really quickly.

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  3. With all the love in my heart I say this....thank you for making me look like a great cook!! Lol! Seriously, though, I have been there...a lot!
    I need Vitamin B shots. I think they may help. Not that I mind taking the power naps but sometimes they are totally inconvenient, like when I'm driving all over with my kids in the car. Caffeine just doesn't cut it anymore.
    I'm glad that you made it in this week because I love hearing from you! I may have to join Lizzi on the cheerleader bandwagon every week with you!
    Have a great week and hope everyone is feeling better!

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    1. Thank you SO MUCH for saying that! You just made my whole soul smile. It's so nice to have people come, and give feedback. I love that!
      I'm glad you appreciate the pictures, that is one of the reasons I post them! Besides being hilarious, I like to post all the REAL LIFE and not just the "look how perfect we are" moments, because those moments are few and far between. THESE moments right here? This is our EVERY DAY life! And that's okay, I'm trying! In every possible way a lot of times, hahaha. Hopefully I'll get better.
      I know what you mean about caffeine, my body is becoming immune.

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  4. Joy, you totally crack me up and i love your TToT! and your baking and cooking are 10 kinds of awesome!!!! Sweet b'day cake!!! Great job! xox jean

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    1. Thank you! Sweet of you to say. My motto lately is "I'm trying. In almost every way." hahaha Thanks for reading and commenting, my fave and that's why I love you guys so much.

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  5. Omg...loved and have actually made those exact cookies....but man...loved the Randall cake! Bummer on sicko kids....hoopla on not sicko parents yet!? Lets hope never!

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    1. It's days later and we're okay! I'm thanking my lucky charms, and my fruit smoothie maker! Thanks, Zoe.

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  6. I really REALLY liked the 'NOT A THING! NOT A THING!' caption.

    And yeah - I take the buck for this. But GLAD you're here, my vampire friend x

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    1. Mwu-ahahah that clown from Twitter hasn't drained me, or skinned me yet!
      I don't know WHY I put that on there a million times, that's weeeeird.

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    2. CUZZZZZZ it was funny. And your pancakes look like the batter-fairy's wings.

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    3. Ha! I wish I had thought of that at the time, I would have made them batter-fly wings! Get it? Batterfly? Yeah, I probably would have donked them up as badly as my bad puns.

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  7. Had a good laugh about the baking soda vs. baking powder. Once when I was out all day our oldest son made baking powder biscuits, only he couldn't find the baking powder and figured baking soda was the same thing and used that. When I got home he presented me with his handiwork and I valiantly tried to eat one, but it was just too salty! He grew up to be a great baker and cook.

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    1. Well, that is like winning the Kid Job Lottery! I tried SO HARD to get my son into baking or cooking! I'm trying with my 4 yr old, but she seems to be like me, doesn't quite have "it" whatever IT is.

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  8. Want to know what I learned the hard way? Well, lots of things, but this is a great one. I was staying at a friend's house on a long term basis and trying to help out with chores and stuff. I was going to start the dishwasher, but there weren't any dishwasher tablets. But there WAS some regular dish detergent! So I poured that into the compartment where the dishwasher tablet is supposed to go. Then I went on my merry way. When I came back later, the dishwasher was spewing bubbles and the floor was covered with suds! It took me hours to clean up! But at least the floor also got washed.

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    1. That is SO FUNNY! Have you ever watched/heard of an old TV show "The Brady Bunch" ? There is an episode JUST LIKE THAT! It's one of my fave episodes, it's so hysterical! I learned that same lesson about bubbles/soap in a jacuzzi tub. Seriously, I have pictures. It happened in a hotel room once, we had to leave the maid a $30 tip, true story, and again in my own home. I underestimated these "super bath bubbles" and how they would combine with the little air-jet bubbles (they're not REAL jacuzzi bubblers juts tiny air holes on the bottom) but they made the bubbles go TO THE CEILING. My husband was like Ricky Ricardo. He almost killed me, AFTER he took a picture. Which I don't know if I can bring myself to post because even though you can only see my head, it's still me in the bath. Awkward!

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  9. Well, I think you redeemed yourself nicely with that Randall cake. As for the other cake, I guess that goes to show you can't believe everything you read on the internet!

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    1. Thank you!! The practice one looked a lot better, it was outlined in black and you'd be surprised how much that makes a DIFFERENCE with a cartoon character. I don't know crap about art or baking art, but I was glad my daughter liked it!
      So true about the internet! I guess we need a "Snopes" for recipes.

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  10. I love, love, love that she wanted a Randall cake! How cool! You could have just iced it and told her it was invisible Randall! ;)

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  11. I may regret asking, but….

    I give…. what does the 'B'' stand for?

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    1. You may, you may not...
      In my family the "B" always stands for Bitch, but usually in a good way. We've been through a lot and have adapted accordingly.
      We wear our scarlet B with pride. Until our family warns in a manner such as the example above, then we try to dial it down a notch :)

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