2014-05-30

Tis The Season: FTSF

I've been meaning to link up to FTSF for quite awhile, but as Marsha Brady would vaguely say to poor Charlie, something suddenly came up.
THIS is what suddenly came up.
from bitterharpy.blogspot.com
I usually see the prompt when it's too late. Not literally, the links are open but by then I've hopped myself into TToT and I never feel like I have enough time to hop everywhere I want to be. Like the opposite of Visa, mine is the AmEx card of blogs. I'm only maybe HALF the places I want to be. 
And then I have this rambling tangent problem, so everything takes 10 x's as long as it should. What was I talking about? OH YEAH.

FTSF or Finish The Sentence Friday. Click there to link up. You read the prompt and share your thoughts. 

The prompt is: 
"It's bathing suit season, and to prepare I..."

This is how I immediately finished that sentence on 5/17 when I saw it:
"...made hot chocolate and dug out a sweatshirt, because Friday (5/16) in Chicago we had SNOW."

There's more to it than that, though. 

Like how it WILL very soon be 90 degrees and I will be in my sister's pool in a bathing suit. 

This used to be a busy time for me in years past.

It was a time of trying to find just the right suit...
from archive.wusa9.com
...but for some reason the Amish don't have an online site to order these. 

Like dealing with death, I suffered several stages.

I tried making my own finagling fanciful fabrics...
This couch looks great by the pool, a little heavy at the beach.
...overcoming optical Illusions...
Seriously.
from moillusions.com
....mastering misdirection...
Hair beard. It's gonna be the next big thing.
from newauthors.wordpress.com
...sensationalizing the setback of skin exposure, from sensuality to skin cancer...
"Your epidermis is showing. I think."
from trendyink.net
...fanning the flames of fandom over Stevie Nicks.
My gypsy ALWAYS wears a fringed shawl.
from potlikker.wordpad.com
These are surprisingly time consuming and ineffective. Over time I realized I didn't need to go through all these various stages. Also they're exhausting.

I just needed to have a bunch of children to give myself some perspective. They make me so tired I have no time to worry about bathing suit season. 

Added bonus: My teenager stresses me out so much I've mastered the ancient art of daydrinking. That is a link if you would like some help with this proven relaxation technique. 

I should be a licensed technician. You would be surprised how many problems just fade away.

It also helps that my 2 yr old wants me to hold her the entire time she's awake, like the world's most adorable tumor. No one is looking at my bathing suit body when my kids are around, everyone is too busy guarding their wallets and open drinks. 

More importantly, I will not teach my young girls to be ashamed of their outer appearance, however that may turn out to be. I will not let them grow up and act like so many men and women, like the media want us to believe, that they have to look any certain way, or they're not worthy of love and respect. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

I will however, don my olde timey tankini bathing suit ala Three Stooges which covers everything but my cankles. It's comfortable. For me, that's what it's all about. Being comfy.

I spent a ton of dough on this bathing suit. I cringed at how much it cost, but that was at least 5 years ago and it's still in pretty good shape. Some things are worth the price, and that's coming from a lifetime cheapskate!

As far as worrying about bathing suit season, I learned a long time ago that life is too long for me to worry about trivial things like extra weight, working out all the time, or eating kale. PASS. None of that will make me any more happy. 








28 comments:

  1. Amazingly, we started this out on the same note with hot chocolate! But seriously, snow in May in Chicago, I would have damn near cried! However, I love how you are dealing with warmer weather indeed being on the horizon and so, so, so happy you did join us this week and hope you will join us again in weeks to come now, too :)

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    1. I hope so, too! So many great writers, I'm sorry I haven't joined sooner. I have a couple kids off for the summer so I should be able to join at least until Fall. Hopefully longer!

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  2. Yep, I also approach swim suit time with a certain amount of ambivalence, but find that over time I'm stressing less about swim suits and more about my (soon-to-be) teenager as well! Fun post, thanks for putting it out there!

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    1. Thanks for reading! I've been wanting to link up, when I saw the next subject at first I cringed, but just like the ACTUAL season, I decided to just Woman Up and tell it like it is. Good luck w/your upcoming teendome. I wish I had advice to help, I'm still trying to figure out how we all get out alive :)

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  3. Love it, Joy! Where did you buy your swimsuit, anyway? I bought an expensive "miracle suit" last year and first, it didn't work, and second, it really didn't hold up well for how much it cost. I'm all about being comfy!
    You're hilarious and thanks for the reminder that people won't be looking at me but instead maybe guarding their stuff from my son! :)

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    1. I got it at Lane Bryant and it was abt $100 but it's lasted. I hated the stupid skirt it came with so I ordered bathing suit material shorts. I think from the same place. I don't think they have your size though, they start at 14 :)

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  4. It definitely doesn't feel like bathing suit season here either. BRR!! I need a fab suit find like you did.

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    1. It got colder here for a few days too! 20 degrees cooler! It's back up to 80 now so I'm good. Wish it would stop but it will be 90 any day now.

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  5. There have been a lot of votes for the old timey swimsuits this FTSF. I am in!
    I love this post - especially the pictures. And I think, too, that it would be great if we could teach young girls not to be ashamed of how they look. I am still learning that, for sure. Any tips are appreciated.
    Thanks for linking up to FTSF and hope you get some warmer temps soon.

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    1. My last post right before this one talks about just that. For me I try to remember how awesome my grandmother was. She was always on the heavy side but she never made that make her feel any less of an awesome woman. And that she was!!
      Glad I finally linked up!

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  6. California pretty much just had an entire year of "bathing suit season" since winter decided to not really show it's face. I usually avoid bathing suits, but Boyfriend bought a boat last year, so I had to get it my issues. However, I am SO freaking white, I blind people. I should come with a warning label.

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    1. I heard that, and you already got plenty of 90 degrees this year, yuck! Not sure which is worse, that or Polar Vortex! My skin is pretty white, too, it's hilarious by the end of the summer when my arms and shoulders get tanned from walking but my legs are House of STARK RAVING WHITE! That's always a good look :)

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  7. The world's most adorable tumor. My Lord that almost put me out of my chair!

    I know. I've been putting off bathing suit season crap because I figure the longer I put it off the longer I have to lose this stupid 10 lbs.

    While eating chips/queso.

    Go figure.

    Life's fun, ain't it? =)

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    1. Well, consider it a plus that you're still hopefully about the 10 pounds! I've given up long ago, that's kind of sad, but also TOO BAD :) Pass the chips and queso! I'll get you a vodka lemonade and we'll talk about tankinis.

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  8. Phewf it's not just me. I've been hunting and hunting on the Amish site for one of those all in one cover ups and couldn't find anything remotely related. I'll give up now. Thank you.

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    1. hahaha you would think the Amish would have such a HUGE online presence, too, right? Puzzling.

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  9. Glad you finally joined FTSF. I would have, but this topic was way too much for me and I would've ended up being verbally clobbered (by you, mostly). So I'm focussing all my attentions on tomorrow's TEN THINGS BIRTHDAY post.

    But I LOVE what you did with the prompt and GOOD FOR YOU.


    Also - I looked around here - you know what I see? PEOPLE!

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    1. Well, I'm glad it didn't stress you out. When I looked I cringed a little, too, but having already started that post about my grandmother, I could NOT back down, now could I? Actually I could have, but I didn't so, yay! Now I'm behind on TToT, but you're right, this awesome hop has given me at least ONE MORE thing to be thankful for!

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  10. Great post, Joy! As you said, I teach my daughter to be proud of her appearance - she's beautiful no matter what she sees in magazines. But it's a comfort thing for me - and picking wedgies out of my swimsuit is not so comfy.

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    1. hahaha I don't think anyone is comfy doing that!

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  11. The Amish sure do know how to dress...and I ain't kidding. As I have a slight allergic reaction to the sun, (itchy bumps on skin) I was thinking of purchasing one of those Burka swimsuits. What a fantastic invention!

    Almost peed myself a little whilst reading this. Especially at sentences such as, 'like the world's most adorable tumor'. A very funny post.

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    1. They really are!
      Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading.

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  12. Love your attitude---more women need to be like this. These memes were funny as hell but OMG the skin on that lady can't be real…..can it???

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    1. I TOTALLY thought she had brown leather pants on, but if it's fake they did an awesome time-consuming job. I may not have believed it if I hadn't seen the "Tan Mom" from New Jersey, remember her? LEATHER FACE.

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  13. Love it. I wanted to respond to this prompt, but I didn't have it in me this week. All I could think of to write was "It's almost bathing suit season and to prepare I...gained six pounds." Because I did. Whatevs. I have one sort-of-okay bathing suit and it's fine. I completely share your attitude that I'm too freaking tired to care, and besides, my one-and-a-half-year-old gloms onto me like your daughter apparently does to you, and she makes a handy cover-up!

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    1. That was MY personal plan apparently too! Long crappy winter. There are worse problems in the world to have, that's for sure. Cuddle up those little cuties while they're small, and don't weigh much ;)

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  14. I'm wearing a bathing suit that is too small on me on account I gained weight since last summer, and I know all the stuff you say... You're beautiful no matter what... Don't worry about what other people think... But I still get stage fright in that suit at the pool. Eh, at least all the lifeguards still check me out when I'm swimming (I have awesome form).

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    1. Whatever my accomplishments in life, I always feel semi-uncomfortable in a bathing suit. Also speaking in public. It's just human nature. I'm sure you turn plenty of heads!

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