TToT: No Thanks For BS Black Friday

Thankful, thankful eeerbody's thankful. Good time for Ten Things of Thankful!
So much:
  • Pies
  • Turkeys
  • Turkey Gravy Martinis (probably a thing)
  • Stretchy clothes
    It's a HOLIDAY

and that all goes without saying, but since it's TEN THINGS and my TWO little girls are fighting for attention, so let's just count that as things, m'kay? Thanks.

4. I'm thankful that BSBF B.S.Black Friday is OVER, because it makes my soul want to puke. If you don't know what that is, thank all the gods, old and new! American retail stores offer slightly discounted prices, mostly on sub-standard electronics, but you have to go when stores should be closed: ON actual Thanksgiving Day and/or through that night, when you should be SLEEPING. This makes people crazy. Obviously.

Ever watch reality TV shows? You shouldn't, they're whore-ible. They keep people up late, and wake them up early ON PURPOSE, because it makes humans coo-koo pants crazy to go without sleep. It's a FACT. 

There were shootings in a Kohl's parking lot this year not far from my home, and I live near Chicago so yes, that happens every day unfortunately, but should we be ENCOURAGING this madness, America? For a few extra bucks to stores that are NOT hurting for money. Shame, shame, we know your name. And it's a swear.
Lie, I do not. I kind of love it.
from redvinesandredwine.blogspot.com

5. Thankful for my blog where I can vent about it, give people ideas for NOT Black-Friday-ing, give ONLINE places to get great gifts and deals, and also laugh about the madness. Sometimes whattayagonnado? You have to laugh. 

When I say 'you' I mean *I* have to laugh.

6. My blog's Facebook page, where I can vent about my soul nausea and get the adult human interaction I crave, and have a much-needed laugh.
 7. Speaking of online shopping: That. For the years I was big, fat, painfully pregnant during the holiday season, this SAVED MY mind and body a great deal of stress. Cyber Monday is amazing, and the discount sites EVERY DAY!

8. Specifically e-Bay, the best thing in the history of forever, for a girl who HATES freaking shopping. With the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. I did EVERY SINGLE BIT of my holiday shopping online 4 years ago, and I swear I could hear choirs of angels singing in my head as I sat in my comfy recliner on my fat hams with my fat feet up. But that might have been the YouTube videos I played of angels singing. 

We were broke, I was in pain, and I got everyone little tchotchkes (pronounced 'chach-ki' Polish word for "junky knick knacks") and jokey-joke gifts and didn't have to wait in any roller coaster lines. I did have to start in August to spread out the cost, but I got everyone at least SOMETHING and they were all super happy, and said my gifts ruled and I should be a personal shopper. So if you need me to do that for you, email me at comfytown@gmail.com. The End.

I already bought myself a 2013 Christmas/Birthday gift (well, my husband approved and he did pay for it, so it counts.) I ordered these amazing, comfy Star Wars stretchy pants to go with my husband's fleece Darth Vader ComfyTown house pants. You can have them too for the low price of $12 NO SHIPPING! Act now.
I'm REALLY going to test the stretchy-ness of these bad boys!
9. I'm MOST thankful this week for Perspective, which was provided by son's friend who used to live with us. Click "Perspective" for the full back story, don't worry it's not a tear-jerker, but hopefully it's a knee-jerker (?) spiritually on some level. 

10. Speaking of teens, this is weird, but I'm thankful for Disney and the kids of Disney growing up before our very eyes, some of them determined to let everyone know they are NO LONGER a Disney kid, and full-on rebelling hard core! 

Well okay, hard care might be a bit dramatic, they're not violent murderers exactly, just eye-rapers with their scary gross fashion choices, on stage weed-smokin' (in Amsterdam where it's legal) icky-music producing, young adults. 
JOKE. Found at Snarkfest Blog's Facebook page

Somehow this makes me feel better as a parent. It just goes to show that even under THEE MOST STRICT of guidance, teens are going to be teens. Some are going to rebel, push the limits of their boundaries, and test the patience of everyone and everything around them. My son is a Jedi Master of this. I keep feeling I messed up, I was too strict, I know I was with food, I didn't do this, I did too much of this, High Fructose Corn Syrup, other b.s. crap people throw at you, and blah blah blabbety blah and I really need to CUT THAT $HIT OUT. He's a good kid, he'll work it out. Eventually. 

In the meantime I'm thankful for booze and venting in blog posts like these!

I am enormously thankful for ALL-A-YOUS who read this nonsense, especially anyone and everyone who leaves comments, I love me some comments.


  1. What, no Twerkey here? ;)

    You've seen the Twerkey .GIF, right?

    SO glad you made it in, and YAY for all of these things (especially the Star Wars leggings). And for your gorgeous 'Perspective' post the other day, which I still COMPLETELY LOVE.

    And for you, for being so awesome! Huzzah!

    (glad you like when people swear - I've noticed myself doing it a lot today IRL, so nice to know that you don't mind ;) it! Can't stand sanctimony!)

    1. HA! I wanted to put yet ANOTHER linky-link to that .gif or our Flesh Fowl Under-buns Award, but my husband was about to pick me and my laptop up (if he could) and just set me in the car so we could do our errands. Or throw it out the window.
      YES! I am SO MUCH BETTER than sanctimonious people! (See what I did there?)

    2. *grins* You could put it sneakily there now though *sly voice*

      I hope the errands went well - nice that you did them together.

      YES you're SO much better than sanctimonious people (which isn't really that much of an accolade, when you stop to think about it - but let's not think about it ;) )

  2. I can believe it about the shooting at Kohls, although I didn't hear about it... We tried to go to Woodfield yesterday, and it was so crazy in the parking lot that we just left without even parking!
    Also, don't forget about Etsy when looking for gifts for people! I just bought two of my gifts on there... high quality, unique things, that aren't very expensive at all. And you get to help support a small business!

    1. I did see a WGN newscast from Woodfield Mall, and at least everyone was FRIENDLY that they showed on TV, but I guess just TOO MANY people! I'm always afraid of stampede situations when it's too crowded. Good thing you left! You're right about Etsy, there are tons of cute places! I have some random Etsy things pinned to my Pinterest page, cute little hand-made soaps, if you look hard enough you can find things priced reasonably! I even saw hand-made soap shaped like, totally serious, DOLL PARTS! So you can wash yourself with a baby's head. Great way to start your day, amiright?

  3. I cannot seem to stop swearing lately and I have never ever done a black Friday... must be another reason...not that I need one! Funny list! Love the Star Wars stretchies!

    1. I've been extra swear-ey, too. Either holiday stress, or maybe barometric pressure?? I like to blame things on that, no one likes to be under any kind of pressure, knowwhatI'msayin?
      I love the pants, too! I doubt I will ever leave the house in them, but actually knowing myself, yeah, I might! :)

    2. Yeah okay, and I will never step out of the house wearing my pajama bottoms... we can both dream (lie?) right?

  4. I've just been hearing about Black Friday sales...sad the way they make folks go nuts!

    1. I wonder if that might be a slightly pre-existing condition for some.

  5. good post…reminds me of why I have hermtized myself, news-and-current event-istically* speaking! Sort of like hearing about a party gone bad…you know you might have gone and even though the teller of the tale often makes it sound kinda cool, you realize that it would not be worth it. Your post reminds of how strange the world keeps getting… thank god for the internets!
    enjoyed your Post!

    * not a real word… lol

    1. It was always a little strange, but we definitely get weirdere and talk about the weirdness more.