2013-11-30

J-Lo Gave Me The Dang Fever

Gaht@mn you, J-Lo. I was innocently taking and posting pictures of shiny objects that caught my eye at Kohl's today, like these beautiful blinged out, bunyon-friendly Bingo boots.
Merry Christmas, Aunt Bea!
I mean just because you have to accommodate mole skin on your feet is no reason to stop dressing like a hoochie mama. 

Then I saw this. At Kohl's. With my family. MY KIDS were there!
The blanket and pillows are covered in SEQUINS
Caution: Objects are MUCH SHINIER in person

*GASP* Well, flick my Bic. Is it the 70's again already?? 

WHO the hell could sleep INSIDE a disco ball, on a sequined pillow? 
THIS GIRL, that's who
from Pinterest/bidgegiff.com


Don't get me wrong, this Disco ball theme is pretty amaze-balls (see what I did there?) for a Vegas hotel room and an upscale(ish) whorehouse, but in your house

Could you have this in your HOME where you live? Presumably with your FAMILY?

Let's not even think about the oxymoron of a sequined pillow, that's right up there with Porcupine Tampons, but the VISUAL of how shiny and bright this is, I can't even. 

My camera can't even. 

The picture doesn't do it justice. There is no justice anymore. Know what? I'm taking you down the rabbit hole with me. 

I was wondering if sequins and/or disco balls were making some kind of weird comeback. It could happen, someone posted on Facebook that pubic hair is making a comeback. Yay, just like my clothing, my secret garden is so far out of style it's back IN style again.

I made the mistake of searching something to do with a disco ball, somehow I was given this gem.
So much cool. My husband is lucky I don't have any money
from jmgregoirebooks.com
The Disco Ball Deathstar started to turned me around a little bit. This is pretty damn cool. What if you did a whole Disco bedroom?
from ca.movies.yahoo.com
Then I guess you would be Superman. 

What about the rest of the house though....
from Pinterest/bidgegiff.com
Is it just me, or do these millions of mirrors refracting light all over the place kind of make you feel groovy? Can you dig it?

Disco Ball Kitchen? No, no say it ain't so, Joe. Oh, it is SO.
Hmmm, maybe this is where I draw the line?
from redbubble.com
This would probably me for most of the day, too, so maaaybe the kitchen is not the best idea.

But the rest of the house....it's ON. Like Donkey Kong, at the break of DAWN, and other words that rhyme with on.

from interiorsystudiom.com
Don't be so square, you cheese weasel. This is Dyno-mite.
Well that escalated FABulously
from hautekhuuture.blogspot.com
I don't know. I went from "I can't even" to my best Veruca Salt impression:
"I WANT A DISCO BALL HOUSE! I WANT IT NOOOOW, Fath-ah!"

I started picturing replacing our current colorful, Rainbow-ALL-The-Things with shiny, reflective balls. How can that be wrong, I ask you? Scope this out, Foxy Mama. 
from hautekhuuture.blogspot.com
I want to take a Twilight Two-zee
from taipeibathrooms.blogspot.com
I'm not sure how you make this Hover Disco Ball happen, but that backyard dance party would be Kool and the GANG.
FAR OUT!
from Pinterest/bidgegiff.com
I might need some new threads.
Funkydorae. Do you think this comes in XXL?
from hautekhuuture.blogspot.com
I don't know if my old man will go for a disco ball themed crib, maybe just the downstairs bar area.
from weheartit.com

Damn you and your sequin sheets, J-Lo you jive turkey. 

Now I've got the Disco Fever! 

And I don't think More Cowbell is going to cure it. We have a small disco ball light in our basement, so I brought it up here to groove on.

Peace, Pigeons

What else could we do. We had to boogie, 70's style. 


What choice did we have?

Hell yes we have a mini disco ball in ComfyTown. 

And a complete pimp outfit. 

And this necklace for some reason. 
Pimp Comfula says:
"Where's my money, ho?"

Don't you?

We took some video of our dance party but it's really long.

As soon as it starts, skip ahead to about a minute and a half in. The baby does a pretty funny number at the end.



Catch you on the flip side, cool cats. Peace!

Even gave Bruce Jenner and Kris whatever got the fever.
Jibjab.com

23 comments:

  1. I dance exactly like your baby! Round and around and around....

    Disco balls and full on lady carpets. The 70's are making a comeback.

    Again.

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    1. DIG IT! I can dig it, she can dig it, he can dig it, dig it baaaby.....

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  2. So this may be the BEST blog post I have ever read in my life!!! I am IN LOVE!!! First I must tell you that I am a disco ball freak. I think the shiny glittery lights just keep me in my happy place! I would do ALL of those in my house, and then I would never ever leave. I would be in disco ball heaven!! I would pee on that toilet even when I didn't have to pee...imagine the shine beaming off of that poop pool! NIIICE!!!! And I LOVE LOVE LOVE that is 3 LOVES ...and I am adding one more, I LOVE that video!! ADORBS!!! Shiny, happy ADORBS!! By the way, that song basically got me through the 80's. Groove is in the heart was MY song. I listened to it on repeat with my walkman until the damn thing ate the cassette tape. Your babies CAN DANCE! and that video was not long at all. Actually...I think we need more dancing...and more video....NOW! Sorry for all the caps, I had a latte today, and I'm really excited you made a video...

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    1. hahaha it's funny you say that, yesterday I had WAY too much caffeine to try to stay up late, and all my posts, tweets, emails and texts were FULL OF ALL CAPS AND !!!'s and I even tweeted about that! I wonder if my dad is your real dad or something. Or Super Mario is our father or something. I totally want to do a drag video. I need a better mustache.

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  3. Boogie on! And remember to wear sunglasses at all times, even when sleeping.

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    1. Ha! You know what they say, "When you're cool the sun shines on you 24 hours a day." That's from some 80's movie I can't remember.

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  4. You know your too old when you see the disco bath and your first thought is - how would I ever keep that clean? Love your babes cheetah pants BTW!

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    Replies
    1. That was my SECOND thought, right after "Could I really relax enough in a room full of MIRRORS to do nature's bidness?" I hope to never find out.
      Thanks about the pants, my sister started getting them leopard print everything, and it's pretty dang adorable, so we've all jumped on board. They'll both be future crazy cat ladies.

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  5. I'm flashing back to the 70s!

    Wait.

    I drank too much to remember the 70s.

    Carry on.

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    Replies
    1. I was born in the 70's so I don't remember much either, but I'm told if you did the 70's RIGHT, you won't remember much. So you did it right!

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    2. I did the 70s right enough for several people. :)

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  6. Okay I laughed out loud when I read this. Not just because it's hilarious, but because you're right. Pictures DON'T do it justice. The wife wanted to go shopping at Kohl's over the weekend, and as we were walking this awful display just stood out like a sore thumb. It was so awful we just had to gravitate directly toward it, like a shiny, tacky black hole, and stare in amazement that people somewhere somehow were actually BUYING this. It's like a stripper sharted glitter on a bed.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. YOU SAW IT?! That's awesome. So you know just what I'm talking about. My sister has owned several DIFFERENT clothing items with sequins, and even SHE wouldn't do this to her bed. The ONLY place I can see it is: Vegas or the worse porno ever.

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  7. If I was wearing those orange wedges I would be on the floor. And everyone needs more cowbell. Always more cowbell. Whose baby gets down like that?!?! Too cool!
    Loving all this.
    No sequin pillow. Would pull all my hair out. And the toilet looks cold. But I would take the hover disco ball in a heartbeat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here. I'm too clumsy for super high heels, even when I don't have the Disco Fever. Sequin pillow just seems like a really awful GAG GIFT, that says:
      "I hate you so much, I even want you uncomfortable when you're relaxing in your own home."

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  8. LOL! I"m trying to imagine strobe lights in my kitchen and on the stair ways. ...dangerous! I have a relative who has some in a small corner of the living room...pretty distracting!

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    1. We love the small disco ball w/strobe lights, but I doubt it would be a good idea in the kitchen! I already cut myself and burn things.

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  9. Hahaha! The chick with the mop. "Like wow…this floor is sooo clean and look…colors…groooovvvvyyyyy…" Yeah. I hope she has enough to share with the whole class. "…bunion friendly Bingo boots…" LOLOL

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    Replies
    1. I know, I could totally picture myself vegging out with the mellow vibe, man.
      I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  10. J-Lo is so tacky I bet her whole house and a lot of her wardrobe actually is all blinged out like this. People actually buy her stuff? So sad.

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    1. I honestly have NO idea WHO would buy her stuff, other than that lady pictured in the disco ball helmet (which was a DIY Disco-Ball Helmet, BTW that I took from a whole Pinterest Disco Ball page) so other than HER, and maybe some Vegas drag queens, I'm not really sure.
      My own sister has owned many items of clothing covered in sequins, and even she said she wouldn't go there. Then again, if they make those super sexy, sequinned senior citizen SLIPPERS, there's a market for it in our America.

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  11. So many thoughts here. A few off the top:
    1) Wouldn't that disco ball helmet be blinding to other drivers/riders? I don't care--I still want it.
    2) If I buy that mirrored corset-looking top, I wouldn't be able to drink wine all night. Or eat any cheese. 'Cuz that top doesn't look like it's stretchy. I don't want it.
    3) If I'm going to sit on any balls...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1. If the sun is out, almost definitely.
      2. Maybe since it's SMALL pieces of mirror, they could sew it to a stretchy material? I need to talk to Tim Gunn and "Make it work."
      3. hahahahaha

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